VN Ren'Py Abandoned Fatal Desire [Ep.1] [Velvet Ink]

3.70 star(s) 3 Votes

Sothacil

Newbie
Aug 23, 2017
18
10
"The story centers around you, an ex-convict who assumes the identity of a murdered sheriff in a town called Velvet town "
Don't you mean Banshee ? ;)

The synopsis seems like very similar to the show. The scene at the begining with the sherif too.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Velvet Ink

Velvet Ink

New Member
Jul 7, 2023
5
37
"The story centers around you, an ex-convict who assumes the identity of a murdered sheriff in a town called Velvet town "
Don't you mean Banshee ? ;)

The synopsis seems like very similar to the show. The scene at the begining with the sherif too.
Yes Correct, The beginning of the story is inspired by the series(as mentioned in my about) but that's it. A comparison would be a crime because THAT series legendary:D
 

m0us3r

Active Member
Nov 28, 2020
503
1,480
The original Banshee story depended much on father-daughter relationships (Rabbit - Carrie for starters). If an AVN would be based on such a story, it would almost call for incest. The daughter would naturally be a principal LI.

I'm not a huge fan of the Banshee story though, it's not Shakespeare and not that suitable for a VN. Hence it's good that this work only took the premise - which is very interesting.

Good models, good pacing and storytelling...

However any immersion I was in, broke immediately when that "sheriff" let the three mobsters go. I don't know how cops work in USA, but in Germany that would be a total pile of bullshit. The guys would go to jail for a long time.

So it's definitely not for me.
 

UnfinishedSentenc

Active Member
Jan 5, 2023
668
965
I don't get tired, I love it.
do you like to fuck? or are you tired of the same shit when you take a woman to bed?
Well, try not to let that damn tooth cut up your mushroom too bad when mom's givin' you head, bro! And enjoy the crab colony that's gonna migrate to your nut sack while your banging your sister's Grand Canyon of a fish taco.
 

Ragnar

Super User
Respected User
Former Staff
Aug 5, 2016
5,011
13,785
The original Banshee story depended much on father-daughter relationships (Rabbit - Carrie for starters). If an AVN would be based on such a story, it would almost call for incest. The daughter would naturally be a principal LI.

I'm not a huge fan of the Banshee story though, it's not Shakespeare and not that suitable for a VN. Hence it's good that this work only took the premise - which is very interesting.

Good models, good pacing and storytelling...

However any immersion I was in, broke immediately when that "sheriff" let the three mobsters go. I don't know how cops work in USA, but in Germany that would be a total pile of bullshit. The guys would go to jail for a long time.

So it's definitely not for me.
Well the thing is this is not Banshee so I don't know why you're expecting secret daughters or any incest at all.
 

Old Man Al

Active Member
Jan 18, 2022
999
6,827
Has some potential, but maybe slow down a bit with the storytelling/lady introducing, etc.
Give the ladies some personality, at least in later chapters, else they all blend into fuckables no one can tell apart - even more so if updates take 3 months or more.

The conversations are ok, but also a bit on the not really having depth (not every sentence has to, but sprinkle something interesting in every now and then) side.
For example, the MC: I know
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
, but from the story/flashbacks, conversations, etc. I cannot tell if he actually is a guy I would want to play. After that whole chapter 1. So to make it short: I don't know anything relevant of him, his moral compass to name it.

IF the intension is to just aiming to make a "fuck em all, and fuck the story most"-VN, that is fine. But I have a sense that is not the thing the creator aims for.

I will check later chapters and hope it improves on the story/character-side. Else, long-therm, this will be one (of way to many) VNs that couldn't hold my attention. Good luck dev. :)
 
3.70 star(s) 3 Votes