I appreciate your response, and to a significant degree I agree, but with some caveats.
Emotional abuse, verbal and other kinds of humiliation can also be significant and valid tools of domination in femdom.
I'm not personally into depictions of ntr [in femdom context cuckolding], because I like my femdom without any male presence, [I personally don't conceptualize the sub role in femdom as an inherently "weak" position, but as you also say, a form of willingly given dedication, worship, a willing and trusting surrender to a woman's beauty and pleasure] but I can understand that those who don't mind it, can interpret being cuckolded as a form of denial, even a form of humiliation. As part of psychological domination plot.
For example I do like the use of male chastity devices in femdom, which serves the same underlying theme of denial of self-centered pleasure for the sub, and forcing him to give pleasure to the female, but not with his masculine pride [dick], but his tongue and mouth only [some may like vaginal intercourse as "reverse rape", but that leaves me rather cold]. As an instrument of forcing the attention onto the female's pleasure as opposed to the sub male's own gratification. I especially dislike so called femdom games which are focused on male ejaculation and male pleasure.
Your interpretation of the cuckold situation is not the only one I encountered. I agree that gay sex [including cum eating] and futadom is not at all femdom, and also that femdom should be about the woman's pleasure first and foremost [caveat: if a woman asks you to dominate her because that gives her pleasure and you oblige, that would not be femdom]. At the same time humiliation/degradation, pee (even scat), psychological domination, tease and denial, and of course corporal punishments of various kinds can be major parts of it. In my case, the only form of sex I enjoy in femdom context is cunnilingus, vaginal sex is really not even remotely on my radar when I think about being dominated by a female.
Finally, to each their own, I won't kinkshame those who like cuckolding, and I can perfectly imagine a femdom situation in which the sub is dominated by the female in all sorts of ways, and additionally also being cucked, I see no contradiction there, sorry. While cuckold is not my fetish, I see no problem with it sometimes being part of a femdom game's story, and I do not feel the need to put those down who like it that way.
Peace!
So before i go on another tangent. i would like to make it clear i agree on alot
We share similar definitions of femdom - Female domination
the priority is her pleasure.
The things i partly take issue with or have an objection to is:
In my case, the only form of sex I enjoy in femdom context is cunnilingus, vaginal sex is really not even remotely on my radar when I think about being dominated by a female.
I totally agree with cunnilingus but vaginal sex not being on the radar is like... IS mixing masochism up for femdom
You want the denial, you don't want to be in any form of pleasure. That's Masochism
If she wants to deny you that would be sadism
S&M isn't a female dominant play, it's self contained acts and is ungendered.
Any gender can be ether role.
Question:
How is putting a condom on a bf and riding because she's horney and err (i don't know how vulgar i can be) mate for the sake of her pleasure not domination? It's at the very least an assertive action.
Let me try to upgrade this argument with an scenario
Scenario:
A man comes home from work and is in the mood his gf or wife is not in the mood
but she gives in anyway and decides to starfish it.
This guy doesn't care about pleasing her and is perfectly satisfied with just using her body to get off.
Would this be Male Domination?
Yeah yeah i know kinda rapey but it still works for my question.
Anyway if this would be maledom the exact same scenario would need to be called femdom.
I'm egalitarian no gender gets any special treatments or perks.
So let me try to be as clear as possible.
The way i see it
It becomes Female dominate when she is in total control of a sexual act she is the recipient of and vice versa for maledom.
But it's just dominant when she tell someone to perform a sexual act on someone else as
it more akin to S&M domination
Moving on to cuckold: Running the first
Quote: I can perfectly imagine a femdom situation in which the sub is dominated by the female in all sorts of ways, and additionally also being cucked
The end of this quote counters this part
Quote: In my case, the only form of sex I enjoy in femdom context is cunnilingus, vaginal sex is really not even remotely on my radar when I think about being dominated by a female.
My dude i don't understand how can
vaginal sex is really not even remotely on my radar when I think about being dominated by a female.
and cuckold be considered femdom.
...Ah like i said it's not about femdom, it's about S&M
cuckold play\porn is considered femdom because is a sadistic act for the gratification of a masochist.
Female domination is a gendered based act in a domination setting
you can't find an official meaning because it's meaning was buchered dispite how simple is was
Female - Domination why 80% of people who follow this tag don't get this idk
Sadism Official Description: The tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.
Masochism official description: The tendency to derive sexual gratification from one's own pain or humiliation.
nothing against what you said here just adding my 2 cents
[some may like vaginal intercourse as "reverse rape", but that leaves me rather cold].
The fact the virginal sex femdom specifically got moved to something as extreme as rape
bugs the crap outta me.
What happened to the middle ground?
How did S&M become femdom and femdom become rape?
Can't I just get a sexually assertive dominant woman? is that too much to ask?
This one was really intresting
[caveat: if a woman asks you to dominate her because that gives her pleasure and you oblige, that would not be femdom].
I can only half agree because i think context would be king? (maybe queen is better for this)
depending on how it went down yeah it could be femdom.
what if he's not getting pleasure form the act because he hates dominating he literally doing it only the please her.
I can't actually make a choice on this... I need the experts (comments)
Now that i think about it
I have a friend who experienced this years ago... never thought that convo would end up resurfaced here.
I remember he randomly ask me one day
Quote: Is it normal for guys not to ejaculate having sex....
I remember he was happy about because people where always telling stories amount the evil man and his sexually selfish ways... The conditioning was real
That was an awkward as f*ck talk so i'm stopping here.
This is just genuine disagreement no shade or kink shaming intended.
This got super messy when going back on my views, reassessing, trying to be fair and aware of my own bias.
I don't care at this point over 40 mins for a reply and I'm not even close to feeling like i was clear enough.
I just wanted to clarify my stance on what femdom should represent rather then what it currently represents (S&M)
