VN Ren'Py Completed Free Pass [S1 v1.56] [After Choices]

3.60 star(s) 82 Votes
Discussion Reviews (82)
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RNDM

Engaged Member
Mar 10, 2018
2,641
3,938
If nothing else the setup sounds more creative than usual and the visuals are definitely topnotch. Here's hoping the project won't flounder.

Volcanoid said:
Initial version is v0-38? I think F95 should enforce a proper naming scheme, otherwise more developers will start releasing their new game with version 2, 3, 4, which will confuse people.
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There's no ISO standard for game or other software version enumeration, only purely informal conventions developers have no obligation to follow if they don't feel like it. And as already pointed out a freaking pirate site certainly has no say in the matter whatsoever.
 
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MattShizzle

Well-Known Member
Oct 31, 2019
1,354
1,275
Pretty hot so far. Not sure where the .38 came from - unusual # for 1st release, unless there were non-released or beta versions before with different numbers. Definitely going to do the slut route with lesbian too. Hopefully we see more soon. Be a shame if this one didn't go all the way to the finale.
 
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longjohngold

longjohngold

Well-Known Member
Jan 22, 2020
1,216
1,906
This was okay... the renders were solid but the language is off and in this kind of story about corruption and, hopefully, betrayal then the text is really important... oh and it felt like half of this was trying to be an educational game about Burma, which felt out of place, I don't really need to learn about their textile industry in a porn game, haha.

Also I'd like to be able to rename the characters, especially the wife.

Hawbash said:
I think you should include "Cheating" and "NTR" tag as well according to the overview, right?
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Well I'd say a freepass is more swinging than cheating (but it's too early to add that as it doesn't occur yet), but given her friend already does some cheating then that tag could probably be added even if it doesn't apply to the heroine, yet.
 
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RNDM

Engaged Member
Mar 10, 2018
2,641
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MattShizzle said:
I thought NTR generally meant it was the MC being cheated on?
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The abbreviation covers no less than three variations of the theme with distinct differences in who's getting cucked (ask genre afficiandos - or well-organised aggregator sites or databases - for specifics, I don't care enough to remember). Definitely one of the tags here that could do with being broken down into the more specific sub-versions.
 
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Atakürt

Atakürt

Newbie
Dec 28, 2018
32
86
longjohngold said:
This was okay... the renders were solid but the language is off and in this kind of story about corruption and, hopefully, betrayal then the text is really important... oh and it felt like half of this was trying to be an educational game about Burma, which felt out of place, I don't really need to learn about their textile industry in a porn game, haha.

Also I'd like to be able to rename the characters, especially the wife.



Well I'd say a freepass is more swinging than cheating (but it's too early to add that as it doesn't occur yet), but given her friend already does some cheating then that tag could probably be added even if it doesn't apply to the heroine, yet.
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No, Now that I played this version, Actually there's even a meter for the MC, when you choose something, you either gain "filthy wife" or "good wife", so I think at least a "cheating" tag is necessary.
 
yihman1

yihman1

Knockout Master
May 11, 2017
3,109
10,931
I like this game, but I think it needs more work.

The Good:

The renders are nice. Pacing seems okay. Camera work, and code looks alright.

The Bad:

The writing. I'm not talking about the over arching plot, that is fine. I'm talking about typos, bad grammar, bad punctuation, and boring dialogue at points.

I'll give an example of what I mean by this out of right at the start of the game:

The scene starts off zoomed in and slowly zooms out of a wedding photo. Which is a good start thematically.

This is the opening line which should have a little extra effort to grab the player. Yet the accompanying words go like this:

"(Aww...It's been almost 10 years and I'm still in love with this eager beaver, my one and only husband.)"
The following line is:
"(Of course my husband, Daniel Hills are happily married for almost 10 years!!!)"

It's repeating the same information, and using 3 exclamation points for reason unclear?

Perhaps a better opening internal monologue would be something like this:

"(Sometimes it feels like this photo was taken just yesterday. I can still smell the spring breeze.)"
"(Our anniversary is coming up. I can't believe it has been almost ten years since Daniel and I got married.)"
"(I can tell he is going to get me something great as he always does. What should I get him?)"
"(I appreciate how hard he works to take care of me, and that makes me happy.)"
"(On the other hand... It feels like something is missing.)"

Writing in such a way as I just did would get all of the same information out there and more. It does not repeat, and leaves the players wondering "Hmmm... What's missing? What are they going to get each other? I would like to read more. Go on..."

So overall I like the game, but the writing portions seem a bit too clunky and jumbled at times, but to be fair it does get the information out there just not in the best way.

For all the folks out there looking for the best anniversary present I found this useful chart for the first 10 years of anniversaries.

anniversary-gifts-by-year.png

Anyways, good luck with the project if the dev is reading this. Looking forward to the next update.
 
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Walnutt

Walnutt

Member
Jan 14, 2021
262
610
yihman1 said:
I like this game, but I think it needs more work.

The Good:

The renders are nice. Pacing seems okay. Camera work, and code looks alright.

The Bad:

The writing. I'm not talking about the over arching plot, that is fine. I'm talking about typos, bad grammar, bad punctuation, and boring dialogue at points.

I'll give an example of what I mean by this out of right at the start of the game:

The scene starts off zoomed in and slowly zooms out of a wedding photo. Which is a good start thematically.

This is the opening line which should have a little extra effort to grab the player. Yet the accompanying words go like this:

"(Aww...It's been almost 10 years and I'm still in love with this eager beaver, my one and only husband.)"
The following line is:
"(Of course my husband, Daniel Hills are happily married for almost 10 years!!!)"

It's repeating the same information, and using 3 exclamation points for reason unclear?

Perhaps a better opening internal monologue would be something like this:

"(Our anniversary is coming up. I can't believe it has been almost ten years since Daniel and I got married.)"
"(I can tell he is going to get me something great as he always does. What should I get him?)"
"(Sometimes it feels like this photo was taken just yesterday. I can still smell the spring breeze.)"
"(I appreciate how hard he works to take care of me, and that makes happy.)"
"(On the other hand... It feels like something is missing.)"

Writing in such a way as I just did would get all of the same information out there and more. It does not repeat, and leaves the players wondering "Hmmm... What's missing? What are they going to get each other? I would like to read more. Go on..."

So overall I like the game, but the writing portions seem a bit too clunky and jumbled at times, but to be fair it does get the information out there just not in the best way.

For all the folks out there looking for the best anniversary present I found this useful chart for the first 10 years of anniversaries.

View attachment 1096875

Anyways, good luck the project if the dev is reading this. Looking forward to the next update.
Click to expand...
Thank you. I've been waiting for someone to point out the writing. It completely took me out of the game.
 
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MattShizzle

Well-Known Member
Oct 31, 2019
1,354
1,275
I think if you gave your wife a roll of aluminum for for a 10th anniversary you'd wind up with a size whatever she wears shoe lodged up your rear end. Agreed the dialogue definitely needs better editing. Another thing that would be nice if there was something to click to see your points in each stat rather than having to wait to the end of the version. Many games have that.
 
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JokerLeader

JokerLeader

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Mar 16, 2019
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3.60 star(s) 82 Votes