- Mar 20, 2019
- 1,229
- 14,825
FYI:
In the original conception of Nicki, she was intended to be like a really good work friend of Guy, but not a super close friend-friend. So, a lot of her actions in the original Chapter 1 are framed through that lens.
But, when I began writing Chapter 2, I kinda soft-retconned that, writing her as more of a good friend, with a shared history. When I rewrote Chapter 1, part of my goal was to connect what Nicki would eventually become, to her starting point. Bearing that in mind, it just didn't make much sense to me that she'd bluntly hit Guy up for money, or go along with Brent's scheme to get money from him by taking advantage of his crush. And it never really made sense that dim-bulb Brent was able to mysteriously discern that Guy had come into sudden wealth.
Now, as for the themes, etc: My intention with the rewrite is to really frame this sudden cash windfall, and Nicki's reaction to losing it, as her journey to mirror Guy's. Like, she needs (and then later loses..) the exact same amount of money that Guy initially buys into Kobalt Koin with. That then sets her on her journey which leads to LonelyFans, Florida Man, tattoos, and trauma. Which connects with what Guy's lawyer warns him about in this chapter: that money, even given with the best of intentions, can lead to more harm than good. I think a lot of her flawed decision making is still retained, it's just softened a bit at the outset.
I'd also say the story doesn't really show Guy pushing Nicki to date Brent. She asked him if she should go on a date with Brent, hoping/thinking that Guy would finally nut up and admit he liked her. But, he didn't. So she went on the date, it went well, and the rest is history. Despite Brent being a jackass, I don't think it's unreasonable to see why Nicki would take him up on his offer, and even continue dating him. He's dumb, and makes crap decisions, but he's also fun, confident, and ambitious. i.e. basically everything Guy, the human wet blanket, is not at this point in the story.
All that said, I appreciate the feedback! I'll be curious to see what the reactions are like.
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I think that's all pretty fair, but to explain my rationale..
In the original conception of Nicki, she was intended to be like a really good work friend of Guy, but not a super close friend-friend. So, a lot of her actions in the original Chapter 1 are framed through that lens.
But, when I began writing Chapter 2, I kinda soft-retconned that, writing her as more of a good friend, with a shared history. When I rewrote Chapter 1, part of my goal was to connect what Nicki would eventually become, to her starting point. Bearing that in mind, it just didn't make much sense to me that she'd bluntly hit Guy up for money, or go along with Brent's scheme to get money from him by taking advantage of his crush. And it never really made sense that dim-bulb Brent was able to mysteriously discern that Guy had come into sudden wealth.
Now, as for the themes, etc: My intention with the rewrite is to really frame this sudden cash windfall, and Nicki's reaction to losing it, as her journey to mirror Guy's. Like, she needs (and then later loses..) the exact same amount of money that Guy initially buys into Kobalt Koin with. That then sets her on her journey which leads to LonelyFans, Florida Man, tattoos, and trauma. Which connects with what Guy's lawyer warns him about in this chapter: that money, even given with the best of intentions, can lead to more harm than good. I think a lot of her flawed decision making is still retained, it's just softened a bit at the outset.
I'd also say the story doesn't really show Guy pushing Nicki to date Brent. She asked him if she should go on a date with Brent, hoping/thinking that Guy would finally nut up and admit he liked her. But, he didn't. So she went on the date, it went well, and the rest is history. Despite Brent being a jackass, I don't think it's unreasonable to see why Nicki would take him up on his offer, and even continue dating him. He's dumb, and makes crap decisions, but he's also fun, confident, and ambitious. i.e. basically everything Guy, the human wet blanket, is not at this point in the story.
All that said, I appreciate the feedback! I'll be curious to see what the reactions are like.
