Looks buggy. There's no screen to give the MC a name, but he starts out with $Name as their name. I guess there's something missing. This starts out as a text and image dump that is almost impossible to figure out. Can you at the very least not have it cascade down the page so that you can't skim the text while looking at pics? It's a lot easier if you have only the tex that goes with the pic. Think graphic novel as opposed to text dump.
Choices. I know it means work since you have to write out and map out different stories or story branches, but if you don't provide us with choices and possible paths then it's pretty boring to simply press next, next, next. Have multiple paths and viable ways to interact with the other characters.
Anyway good luck.