VN Ren'Py Grand Duke Valeran - Building a Harem in Another World [v0.3.5-public] [Mr.I.Game]

[mabeloco]

great game so far, i really liked that were able to change how we see someone thoughts.

cant wait to see what happens next.

 

[tortorus]

MMMMmmmm, Mr dev can you add some gameplay in your game...? Or put a kinetic tag.

 

[mr.i.game]

MMMMmmmm, Mr dev can you add some gameplay in your game...? Or put a kinetic tag.

Honestly, I'm not sure if it really counts as a kinetic novel. I mean, yeah, I'm planning for it to have just one ending, but later on there'll be choices - like whether you want to follow the side girls' storylines or not.

I guess it's somewhere in between a visual novel and a kinetic novel.

 

[STATE_]

good story so far the mc acting the part of weak and cowardly is kind of annoying

 

[tortorus]

Honestly, I'm not sure if it really counts as a kinetic novel. I mean, yeah, I'm planning for it to have just one ending, but later on there'll be choices - like whether you want to follow the side girls' storylines or not.

I guess it's somewhere in between a visual novel and a kinetic novel.

Kinetic is not only set by ending, but by the gameplay in you game... and in a vn choices are the gameplay.
So either you make a game or you write an ebook with picture. if you plan to just tell your story and don t let the "player" to have to say anything in this story, so you just write an ebook and it s a kinetic. Even if there are choice to skip side girl or not... skip optional chapter of a book is NOT gameplay.

I m here to play game, not read ebook or comics/mangas, so what you tell is this is not or me. it s end here for me then.

Good luck Mr dev

 

[Strykker]

Yes please put kinetic tag on or put the clarification on the note instead of what it is currently since your note right now says "story-heavy" that can still be interpreted as "yeah there're a lot to read but it still a 'game' that players can make choices as MC. If you write the note as something along the line of "This is a kinetic novel with some choices", that would help the audiences to better decide whether this is for them or not. No time's wasting for anyone.

 

[mr.i.game]

Yes please put kinetic tag on or put the clarification on the note instead of what it is currently since your note right now says "story-heavy" that can still be interpreted as "yeah there're a lot to read but it still a 'game' that players can make choices as MC. If you write the note as something along the line of "This is a kinetic novel with some choices", that would help the audiences to better decide whether this is for them or not. No time's wasting for anyone.

Added to the Genre section

 

[mr.i.game]

Hey everyone, version 0.3.5 is now live on Patreon!
Ah, and Merry Christmas to you all!

 

[soemantri9]

hah.... what a waste. i thought when i see mc become noble he can make a decision and the game served right now. only to read mc become a coward and stupid . i mean if you want to acting the mc should be commit and not to make a blunder with saving a slave. WHAT A WASTE. i'm following because i love the premise but unfortunately can't make a good delivery. WHAT A WASTE.....

 

[mr.i.game]

hah.... what a waste. i thought when i see mc become noble he can make a decision and the game served right now. only to read mc become a coward and stupid . i mean if you want to acting the mc should be commit and not to make a blunder with saving a slave. WHAT A WASTE. i'm following because i love the premise but unfortunately can't make a good delivery. WHAT A WASTE.....

Hey there, sorry to hear you didn't have a good experience.

The MC in this game is just an ordinary young guy, not some great hero or a mastermind with a brain full of schemes. So when he suddenly gets transported to another world, thrown into a completely unfamiliar identity and environment, it's perfectly normal for him to make mistakes!

If you've reached the end of the slave chapter, you'd see that even though he thought he covered his tracks, to seasoned rulers, his actions were full of holes.

In short, this game tells the story of an ordinary young man who's suddenly burdened with saving the world—not about some 200 IQ mastermind conquering it with flawless strategies.

 

[soemantri9]

Hey there, sorry to hear you didn't have a good experience.

The MC in this game is just an ordinary young guy, not some great hero or a mastermind with a brain full of schemes. So when he suddenly gets transported to another world, thrown into a completely unfamiliar identity and environment, it's perfectly normal for him to make mistakes!

If you've reached the end of the slave chapter, you'd see that even though he thought he covered his tracks, to seasoned rulers, his actions were full of holes.

In short, this game tells the story of an ordinary young man who's suddenly burdened with saving the world—not about some 200 IQ mastermind conquering it with flawless strategies.

i mean, you are the dev of this game and i think it isn't complcated stuff. when mc make a plan "i should acting as a weak motherfucker" and proceed saving a slave it doesn't make sense if mc want to lay low and what? the plan mc made can be seen by uncle and others. you are the dev, even if you want mc is ordinary guy you can make it more smarter or maybe you can make it more interesting? it is fantasy man... why are you make it so boring and laughable "make a plan and it is already failed...LOL"

 

[mr.i.game]

i mean, you are the dev of this game and i think it isn't complcated stuff. when mc make a plan "i should acting as a weak motherfucker" and proceed saving a slave it doesn't make sense if mc want to lay low and what? the plan mc made can be seen by uncle and others. you are the dev, even if you want mc is ordinary guy you can make it more smarter or maybe you can make it more interesting? it is fantasy man... why are you make it so boring and laughable "make a plan and it is already failed...LOL"

Let's imagine this: The MC is an ordinary young man, well-educated and with a strong sense of morality. Now, if he were in his old world and saw someone being brutally beaten in the street right in front of him, what do you think he would do?

Sure, maybe he'd step in to help, or maybe he'd hesitate out of fear of getting hurt himself. But even if he didn't intervene, he'd at least call 911, right?

Here, he's thrown into an unexpected situation where he has to react immediately. And his reaction comes from instinct, shaped by the moral principles of his old world. That's why he shouted, "Enough! Stop that!"

The MC is still himself, albeit with a slightly confused memory from the new body he's inhabiting. He hasn't even had the chance to adjust to this new world yet—a world where mistreating slaves is seen as normal. So isn't it natural that he'd respond in the way he's always thought was right?

In my opinion, there are only two kinds of protagonists who can think logically and make calculated, rational decisions in such a sudden, high-pressure situation:
- A fabricated, overly polished character crafted by the author. Let's be real, in unexpected situations, nobody has the time to think everything through perfectly. They just act based on what they believe is right.
- A cold, calculating type of character. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that's not who the MC is.

 

[soemantri9]

Let's imagine this: The MC is an ordinary young man, well-educated and with a strong sense of morality. Now, if he were in his old world and saw someone being brutally beaten in the street right in front of him, what do you think he would do?

Sure, maybe he'd step in to help, or maybe he'd hesitate out of fear of getting hurt himself. But even if he didn't intervene, he'd at least call 911, right?

Here, he's thrown into an unexpected situation where he has to react immediately. And his reaction comes from instinct, shaped by the moral principles of his old world. That's why he shouted, "Enough! Stop that!"

The MC is still himself, albeit with a slightly confused memory from the new body he's inhabiting. He hasn't even had the chance to adjust to this new world yet—a world where mistreating slaves is seen as normal. So isn't it natural that he'd respond in the way he's always thought was right?

In my opinion, there are only two kinds of protagonists who can think logically and make calculated, rational decisions in such a sudden, high-pressure situation:
- A fabricated, overly polished character crafted by the author. Let's be real, in unexpected situations, nobody has the time to think everything through perfectly. They just act based on what they believe is right.
- A cold, calculating type of character. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that's not who the MC is.

yes, but i think you as dev can narrate it more with logical thinking. "oh the slave is beaten what should i do? i want help the slave but i need to lay low" "aha, i have a maid whose power comparable with bronze knight. make her do that if there is another complicated situation i have authority to clear up" it is the same thing like you narrate it with the fund problem in noble meeting with mc cousin "THE SAME THING AHA I HAVE COUSIN MAKE HER DO THAT IF THERE IS ANOTHER COMPLICATED SITUATION I HAVE THE AUTHORITY".

 

[soemantri9]

it is laughable because the mc plan already be seen by others and make it more boring to see tag "kinetic"

 

[soemantri9]

but as player i hope your game can be succes.. AMEN

 

[mr.i.game]

yes, but i think you as dev can narrate it more with logical thinking. "oh the slave is beaten what should i do? i want help the slave but i need to lay low" "aha, i have a maid whose power comparable with bronze knight. make her do that if there is another complicated situation i have authority to clear up" it is the same thing like you narrate it with the fund problem in noble meeting with mc cousin "THE SAME THING AHA I HAVE COUSIN MAKE HER DO THAT IF THERE IS ANOTHER COMPLICATED SITUATION I HAVE THE AUTHORITY".

Sorry, but to me, storytelling like that feels fake. This is an impulsive situation where instinct and a surge of emotions take over—not 1,000 words of deep contemplation before making a decision.

It's similar to those stories where the protagonist swings a sword, and while the swing itself takes just 0.01 seconds, the thoughts and schemes behind that swing somehow stretch across three full pages.

To me, that kind of writing feels unrealistic. I prefer to write in a way that I believe makes sense. I hope you can understand!

 

[soemantri9]

Sorry, but to me, storytelling like that feels fake. This is an impulsive situation where instinct and a surge of emotions take over—not 1,000 words of deep contemplation before making a decision.

It's similar to those stories where the protagonist swings a sword, and while the swing itself takes just 0.01 seconds, the thoughts and schemes behind that swing somehow stretch across three full pages.

To me, that kind of writing feels unrealistic. I prefer to write in a way that I believe makes sense. I hope you can understand!

yeah so fake when mc is braindead and can't think when he have memory of his body "maid have power of bronze knight" and already have plan to lay low

 

[mr.i.game]

yeah so fake when mc is braindead and can't think when he have memory of his body "maid have power of bronze knight" and already have plan to lay low

Sigh, I guess you're more into the kind of Chinese web novels where the protagonist is cold, calculating, and always puts benefits above everything else. My MC, on the other hand, is impulsive and driven more by emotions, so maybe this kind of character just isn't your cup of tea...

 

[Juerhullycin]

Sorry, but to me, storytelling like that feels fake. This is an impulsive situation where instinct and a surge of emotions take over—not 1,000 words of deep contemplation before making a decision.

It's similar to those stories where the protagonist swings a sword, and while the swing itself takes just 0.01 seconds, the thoughts and schemes behind that swing somehow stretch across three full pages.

To me, that kind of writing feels unrealistic. I prefer to write in a way that I believe makes sense. I hope you can understand!

so i take it you are not a fan of the "Namek will explode in 1 minute -> 30 Episodes later still nothing happened" style?

 

[mr.i.game]

so i take it you are not a fan of the "Namek will explode in 1 minute -> 30 Episodes later still nothing happened" style?

Exactly! My game might be long, but that's because the story demands it—There are plenty of details that need to be written. I'd never drag the story out just for the sake of making it... longer =]]

Oh, you know Namek? Then you must know Conan, right? Namek's got nothing on Conan when it comes to stretching things out