I think what makes the emotional difference here is, before anything happens, we the player are given the option and chance to wake up before anything happens. The vast majority of us, knew what was going to happen by choosing to not wake up. So we consented to what was going to happen, even if our character technically didn't. So it's hard, for me anyway, to judge harshly. It'd be completely different, if we weren't given the option at the start to wake up and prevent everything. If it was actually unavoidably forced on us, then yea, I'd be feeling a lot differently about it. It'd be more like your example of us forcing ourselves on the sleeping stranger housekeeper, no consent. Very obvious rape.
Other may see things differently, but that's how I see things