Before I start with what I liked, I want to start with what I didn't like.
The first thing is that it hurts my eyes that punctuation and capitalization are not used correctly. lol
Maybe because I'm a bit picky, but I think it takes you out of the immersion a bit to see sentences not start with capital letters or have them where they should go, or not respecting the spaces between punctuation, etc. Like I said maybe because I'm so picky. Anyway, it's not something really serious but I think attention should be paid to this. :B
The second is dialogues like these:
It really looks cringey to me. I understand that it's not every day you get an attractive girl practically stripping in front of you. But man... The MC seems like a cool and smart guy. I don't think there's any need for him to act like if he'd never seen a pair of boobs. I mean, when Marlene let him touch her buttocks, he didn't act that way. A simple "Wow... I can't believe what's going on" or "Wow, she has an amazing, beautiful body" would have sufficed. He doesn't come off as a fool or a pervert.
That said, now all that I liked.
Which is basically everything else. Not counting the dialogue I mentioned, the rest of the dialogue seems good to me. Especially the ones describing the MC's feelings, like when he touches the train window.
The highlight is, in my opinion, Marlene. She is incredibly and extremely beautiful. I really love her.
Her personality is cool. I was under the impression that she would be a more shy, reserved girl, but it turns out she's pretty playful and laid back.
On a much more personal note, I would like to see more romance. Obviously there hasn't been as much because Marlene and the MC just met. But, as a big fan of romance, I would like to see sooner rather than later, (of course, based on how much the girls like us) their conversations get to have a more romantic/affectionate tone and the characters open up more. Let the chemistry between the MC and the girls show.
Anyway, I really liked this 0.1 version a lot. Like I said, I have a soft spot for lighthearted and romantic stories. I wish you much success in the development of this VN!