Then my question is why not just pull a rule 63 and make a realistic coming-of-age story from a male perspective?
The other game is very specifically intended to be a female protag game. I'm just not interested in creating a similar game from a male perspective. Precisely because there are already so many good ones out there that do that well. Good, sex-positive female protag games are a little harder to come by.
One thing I have to seriously question is the stark double-sidedness of the relationship. The game opens up with the male protagonist falling head over heels in love and paints him as a supportive if a tad lazy husband. He thinks everything is fantastic if a bit shaky.
I had to replay the intro a few times and rewrite this part because I really didn't want to come off as too harsh but there's no nicer way to say that the wife comes off as a total bitch. In her narration, she clearly didn't feel the initial sparks and just settled down with the dude saying he was "good enough." She's promiscuous to the point where she doesn't think her husband could handle knowing the number of dudes she's banged. I'm not slut shaming, I'm just saying the girl should own it if she's gonna be so critical of her husband instead of being insecure.
I tried really hard to see if I was just reading it wrong but it seems like she never communicated her lack of satisfaction outside of a few jabs that we're not given examples of. She insults his hobbies and acts entitled that he didn't include her in things she clearly doesn't like, she never communicates her unhappiness with the sex, and she comes off as petty and passive-aggressive in regard to the chores. They say open with your best foot forward so I'm just sitting here wondering why bother putting in the effort beyond keeping her happy enough to at least not cheat when she seems to have no positive qualities?
Hmmm. That is an interesting take. It's not what I intended. However, I did want to highlight that people see things in different ways.
First, this is not the perspective of either of them at the beginning of their relationship. So their respective attitudes come from where they are right now emotionally.
The husband, who has had all of his physical, mental, and emotional needs met, is still looking at the relationship as if it were perfect. The wife, who has not, sees more of the cracks. She loves him despite his flaws, while the husband isn't looking deep enough to see the flaws. He loves an idealized version of his wife, not the imperfect human he actually married.
I'm COMPLETLY against cheating in real life but this is a game. The wife just seems utterly unlikeable if you play with dual perspectives so I'm wondering if this was done intentionally to incentivize players to go the non-monogamous route?
Side note. Nothing mentioned in the forums or the meta of the narrative, so far, implies this is going to heavily focus on NTR, quite the opposite, but if that were the case why point out that the dude has a below-average dick and claim that he's shit at sex? Unless that's an unreliable narrator on the wife's part linking back to her promiscuity.
I don't see her as "promiscuous" but she wasn't a virgin either. She had a normal sex life for an attractive young adult woman. A few long-ish term relationships, a couple "friends w/ benefits," a couple short-term physical relationships, one or two one-night stands. The problem again stems from the fact that the husband was engaged with an idealized woman, assuming certain things about her based on this ideal, and then never even attempting to engage with the reality. Or at least, this is what the wife believes concerning the husband. Both of them are unreliable narrators because they are both seeing it only from their own perspective----the "truth" lies somewhere in the middle.
Physically, at least earlier in their relationship, he struggled to satisfy her but managed to make do most of the time. Later, he stopped trying so hard, and she is the one to suffer. She
wants her husband to satisfy her sexually because she loves him. Maybe she waited too long to try to talk to him about it because she didn't want to hurt him or because she didn't realize that's what the problem was. But by the time she realizes this is an issue, it has already begun to affect other parts of their relationship. Again, two people in very different places emotionally viewing the same set of facts in very different ways.
In other words, players can't assume that the player-character is the "hero" or "is right" in this game. He is a fallible man and some of the issues in his marriage are his fault. Part of the challenge of the game is for him to improve himself in ways that help to solve the problems in his marriage.
That said, I thought my description was clear that the game is going to be mostly focused on the non-monogamous routes. I want the monogamous route to be developed enough to be a good, solid alternative for people who aren't necessarily into the non-monogamous stuff (where avoiding it is the goal of the game). Primarily because so many games in this genre unrealistically ignore the possibility that loving people might want to just simply work on their relationship in productive ways that don't involve fucking other people. I don't want it to be considered an afterthought either, but actually just as well written and developed as the other routes.
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I'm sorry if I crossed any lines in my criticism but this just seems like a terrible introduction for the wife if you intended for her to be even remotely likable from the start and aren't building to something special as the project continues.
If not, I'm rooting for the guy to find someone who actually cares about him and doesn't see him as "good enough."
Aside from lame sex puns in the mobile app the previous game had such a good start in comparison.
Don't worry, no lines are crossed. I appreciate constructive criticism. As writers, it's literally the only way to improve. (And I say this as an award-winning published author of over 20 years----completely different genres of writing----but accustomed to working with editors.)
I will definitely be taking your feedback into consideration and look at the Preface, first night conversation, and relationship conversations. I want to make sure that I am getting across the points I am trying to get across (as summarized above) effectively. If not, some rewriting may be required.
