VN Ren'Py Independent Horizons [Ch.1 v1.0.0] [SwampyStudio]

[Alex5280]

Overall, it seems like this could be a pretty good game and I'm looking forward to seeing how this one progresses.
But here are few issues that I noticed:

1. Beginning of the update, during Eula's dialog it has her listed as Ms. Emily.
2. During the spa scene there are several instances in the dialog and narration when Ms. Emily is used when it should be Ms. Lily.
3. Also, during the spa scene the client should be the one getting the "happy ending" not the masseuse. So, it makes zero sense for the MC to be getting himself off when he should have been getting Ms. Lily off. That is what the client is paying extra for, their own orgasm.
4. The effects of drinking alcohol do not hit you instantly like they are shown for the MC during the Ms. Emily scene.
5. Way too much pausing in this game with a lot of unnecessary extra clicks to advance the dialog.
6. The free roam was pointless, because the only thing you could really do was go outside.
7. In one of the text messages, I forgot which one, "Tom" is hard coded in instead of the whatever name the player chooses. (text message from Ms. Emily)

 

[swampystudio]

Overall, it seems like this could be a pretty good game and I'm looking forward to seeing how this one progresses.
But here are few issues that I noticed:

1. Beginning of the update, during Eula's dialog it has her listed as Ms. Emily.
2. During the spa scene there are several instances in the dialog and narration when Ms. Emily is used when it should be Ms. Lily.
3. Also, during the spa scene the client should be the one getting the "happy ending" not the masseuse. So, it makes zero sense for the MC to be getting himself off when he should have been getting Ms. Lily off. That is what the client is paying extra for, their own orgasm.
4. The effects of drinking alcohol do not hit you instantly like they are shown for the MC during the Ms. Emily scene.
5. Way too much pausing in this game with a lot of unnecessary extra clicks to advance the dialog.
6. The free roam was pointless, because the only thing you could really do was go outside.
7. In one of the text messages, I forgot which one, "Tom" is hard coded in instead of the whatever name the player chooses.

Noted! Thanks

 

[Daddy-S]

Patreon:

Me:

I didn't do anything!

I edited my post a little not sure if it will make any difference but did it anyhow.

 

[vonamatas]

Ah, figured it out. I used a Renpy Universal transparent text editor on the Pixeldrain version. That was the issue.

I also use mods of this type, but I always run the game first and check how deeply the author has modified the base RenPy code. This time I gave up after seeing the scope of the changes, and that's why "it works for me".

BTW - a transparent background and no text frames improve the appearance of the game more than "original fonts" and unusual icons. It's not a matter of taste but ergonomics.
It's a matter of taste, for example, comic-book-style dialogues (speech bubbles), which sometimes look great, but usually "almost" (but there's a lot of work on them).

[edit]

6. The free roam was pointless, because the only thing you could really do was go outside.

A sandbox without content and purpose, which is the easiest way to upset 80% of players.

I just don't know why it looks like something else in its default state (first pic).

All 3D models are created as "female" (the base is always female body type), the dangling male elements are added during modeling. When rendering a scene using the "male" model ->
The base is always visible - by definition, it's the base!
... but not necessarily those flying additions
Some 3D model creators are better at gluing penises, while others always have something peeking out from underneath

 

[YogSothoth1982]

I guess that the prostitute isn't a LI, that the MC will never have sexual relations with her (or at least we can avoid them) and that by working as a masseuse we can avoid any sexual content.

swampystudio

Does the heart mean I'm right?

 

[Daddy-S]

Not sure why people are leaving one star reviews, its for sure not that bad of a vn so far. I mean there are a few things that are not my usual taste like the semi - child, innocent-ish, simpy mc (cuck vibes) or the potential li being basically a prostitute(you can gain rel points with her, or not..). The masseuse said we didn't have to give happy endings if we didn't want too, I was given the choice to not touch her or watch her "work" so in my play I didn't, it wasn't forced. Hopefully I dont have to watch her bouncing on other guys on repeat in the future which for me is the biggest worry I have, this turning into a cuck/voyeur sim, its just not my thing but even if it was it wouldn't be a 1 star review.

The prologue is a bit too heavy on the narration and sometimes even telling us things we can already see like "mom is smiling and happy" like yeah, no shit I can see that but it certainly does not deserve 1 star. An Ipatch fixes things that get annoying like reading "childhood friend" way too often(no-one uses this language irl) but calling the girl you have lived with your whole life your sister and the woman that brought you up your mom fits perfectly even though they are not blood related.

I would write a review myself but it's not far enough along for me to judge yet. It could be a 3-4 star vn (for me) if it does not throw prostitutes at me and does not force anything harder like cuck/ntr/femdom but that's just not my taste many enjoy it. There are many worse vn's out there with 3 star ratings. If I can have a good exclusive relationship with that cutie sister and am not forced into hard kinks I can see this being a decent vn even if its just a slice of life kinda deal.

 

[tmu500]

Not sure why people are leaving one star reviews, its for sure not that bad of a vn so far. I mean there are a few things that are not my usual taste like the semi - child, innocent-ish, simpy mc (cuck vibes) or the potential li being basically a prostitute(you can gain rel points with her, or not..). The masseuse said we didn't have to give happy endings if we didn't want too, I was given the choice to not touch her or watch her "work" so in my play I didn't, it wasn't forced. Hopefully I dont have to watch her bouncing on other guys on repeat in the future which for me is the biggest worry I have, this turning into a cuck/voyeur sim, its just not my thing but even if it was it wouldn't be a 1 star review.

The prologue is a bit too heavy on the narration and sometimes even telling us things we can already see like "mom is smiling and happy" like yeah, no shit I can see that but it certainly does not deserve 1 star. An Ipatch fixes things that get annoying like reading "childhood friend" way too often(no-one uses this language irl) but calling the girl you have lived with your whole life your sister and the woman that brought you up your mom fits perfectly even though they are not blood related.

I would write a review myself but it's not far enough along for me to judge yet. It could be a 3-4 star vn (for me) if it does not throw prostitutes at me and does not force anything harder like cuck/ntr/femdom but that's just not my taste many enjoy it. There are many worse vn's out there with 3 star ratings. If I can have a good exclusive relationship with that cutie sister and am not forced into hard kinks I can see this being a decent vn even if its just a slice of life kinda deal.

Likewise, It is a good game with protentional.

 

[YogSothoth1982]

5. Way too much pausing in this game with a lot of unnecessary extra clicks to advance the dialog.

It really gets annoying to advance the game due to the unnecessary amount of clicks.

Not sure why people are leaving one star reviews, its for sure not that bad of a vn so far. I mean there are a few things that are not my usual taste like the semi - child, innocent-ish, simpy mc (cuck vibes) or the potential li being basically a prostitute(you can gain rel points with her, or not..). The masseuse said we didn't have to give happy endings if we didn't want too, I was given the choice to not touch her or watch her "work" so in my play I didn't, it wasn't forced. Hopefully I dont have to watch her bouncing on other guys on repeat in the future which for me is the biggest worry I have, this turning into a cuck/voyeur sim, its just not my thing but even if it was it wouldn't be a 1 star review.

Well, let's hope the game doesn't include any of netorare or netorase. Although the fact that a possible LI is a prostitute and that the intention is for the MC to work as such, doesn't help to dispel the doubts, I think it rather increases them. Fortunately, we can avoid both the prostitute and to prostitute the MC.

 

[rafa30]

I like

 

[TommyTuba]

Sorry, how do I do this?

 

[swampystudio]

swampystudio

Does the heart mean I'm right?

My main point about including sexual content in the massage scenes is to show that the game has this kind of animation (though not as excellent as other animations in different visual novels). My mistake was creating it in the first release as forced without avoidable options, which is my fault. I just thought, "Hey guys, look, my game has animation."

Anyway, working at the massage parlor will contain sexual content (without a love interest with Ms. Lily), but you can avoid that and just work as a normal masseur without a "happy ending" massage. This way, it shows that the MC has a part-time job and earns some money.

Additionally, there's a convenience store job. If you don't like working at the massage parlor, you have the option to work at the convenience store with an old lady, and we can add her granddaughter working there.

Relating it to real life, part-time work isn't a permanent job, and you can search for another job. If the MC doesn't want to work, then he'll become homeless, resulting in a game over since one of your goals is to have a job to live and continue the search for your bloodline.

 

[Cheerful Tomato]

My main point about including sexual content in the massage scenes is to show that the game has this kind of animation (though not as excellent as other animations in different visual novels). My mistake was creating it in the first release as forced without avoidable options, which is my fault. I just thought, "Hey guys, look, my game has animation."

Anyway, working at the massage parlor will contain sexual content (without a love interest with Ms. Lily), but you can avoid that and just work as a normal masseur without a "happy ending" massage. This way, it shows that the MC has a part-time job and earns some money.

Additionally, there's a convenience store job. If you don't like working at the massage parlor, you have the option to work at the convenience store with an old lady, and we can add her granddaughter working there.

Relating it to real life, part-time work isn't a permanent job, and you can search for another job. If the MC doesn't want to work, then he'll become homeless, resulting in a game over since one of your goals is to have a job to live and continue the search for your bloodline.

I'm enjoying the game. It is your story to tell so do just that. Best of luck either way it goes.

 

[swampystudio]

sometimes even telling us things we can already see like "mom is smiling and happy" like yeah, no shit I can see that

I'm used to reading novels, so I'll see what I can do with that.

An Ipatch fixes things that get annoying like reading "childhood friend" way too often(no-one uses this language irl) but calling the girl you have lived with your whole life your sister and the woman that brought you up your mom fits perfectly even though they are not blood related.

Spoiler: Spoiler

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[YogSothoth1982]

Additionally, there's a convenience store job. If you don't like working at the massage parlor, you have the option to work at the convenience store with an old lady, and we can add her granddaughter working there.

Relating it to real life, part-time work isn't a permanent job, and you can search for another job. If the MC doesn't want to work, then he'll become homeless, resulting in a game over since one of your goals is to have a job to live and continue the search for your bloodline.

So what I have to do is quit the job as a masseuse to work at the convenience store.

 

[swampystudio]

So what I have to do is quit the job as a masseuse to work at the convenience store.

Yes, that was the option I had in the first place, which is why I added a convenience store in the scene. However, I can't promise when I will implement it, as it depends on the workload I have for the next update.

 

[YogSothoth1982]

Yes, that was the option I had in the first place, which is why I added a convenience store in the scene. However, I can't promise when I will implement it, as it depends on the workload I have for the next update.

Well, I will work at the massage center until I can work in the store. No problem.

 

[YogSothoth1982]

I'm used to reading novels, so I'll see what I can do with that.

Actually describing what you are already seeing in an image is unnecessary. A VN is non't a novel, where you have to describe everything. Images help to limit descriptions and focus on dialogues and explaining other things that cannot be seen in them.

 

[Kitchentable]

In a firm tone of voice: Make the protagonist reunite with adorable Pauline! Or else!

 

[TommyTuba]

My main point about including sexual content in the massage scenes is to show that the game has this kind of animation (though not as excellent as other animations in different visual novels). My mistake was creating it in the first release as forced without avoidable options, which is my fault. I just thought, "Hey guys, look, my game has animation."

Anyway, working at the massage parlor will contain sexual content (without a love interest with Ms. Lily), but you can avoid that and just work as a normal masseur without a "happy ending" massage. This way, it shows that the MC has a part-time job and earns some money.

Additionally, there's a convenience store job. If you don't like working at the massage parlor, you have the option to work at the convenience store with an old lady, and we can add her granddaughter working there.

Relating it to real life, part-time work isn't a permanent job, and you can search for another job. If the MC doesn't want to work, then he'll become homeless, resulting in a game over since one of your goals is to have a job to live and continue the search for your bloodline.

The convenience store and old lady and granddaughter sounds interesting. The option to search for different jobs seems interesting, too. Looking forward to seeing where the game goes.

 

[swampystudio]

I can only give my advice, and I'm only responsible for my rating, not the rating of the game. Lots of games are overrated, some are underrated, it is unfair, but well, what can I do ?
I have a personal scale, I don't rate the worst game, because I probably won't even download them and lose my time with them, so basicaly, it may seems unfair, but I'll only rate a game that looked attractive to me at first. 1 star if I don't plan to play it again, 2 stars if I may download it again after a few updates and fast forward into it to see if there's somethig interesting, 3 stars if I'll partially play the game, skipping some parts, and some characters that I dislike, 4 stars if several girls or route are appealing to me and 5 star if I plan to completely play it with all routes and characters.

As stated in my review, there are very problematic things in this one for me, the relation to the mother and sister to please patreon. It make the devs look greedy, lots of dev create a patreon even before the first release, they don't want to tell a good story, they want to earn money. This dev give the impression that for them, patreon is more important than the players and the story.
Then there's the forced sex scenes with the characters I dislike. I'm into petite girls, I like Pauline and Eula, but we are forced to Lily and Emily, in the first case it was changed, but there's still very intimate scene with her, in the later, it's a forced sex scene, the character is unaware it happened, but I am the player and the scene is shown to me and the dev could still give us the choice if it happened or not (or it happened, but it will only be told or shown after the player made decisions orienting to this character route, this way, players not interested in the character will never know it happened, as the MC). But in the end, I'm forced to characters that I find unattractive and that's a very bad point for something supposed to be arousing. And with two occurence, it will probably happen again, so I'm dropping it and probably won't come back to it, thus 1 star, sorry dev, nothing personal.

Alright! At least now I know and it's clear to me what mistakes I made in creating this game. Thanks for the feedback! Everyone has their own taste, and not all newbie developers can satisfy every player's needs with their first few releases. That's why feedback is so important, it helps developers know how to improve the game and satisfy players. If there's a way to block my game so you don't see it in the future, I suggest doing that to avoid disappointment if you see it updated. Anyway, thanks again, and I'm not mad.