HTML Inner Empire [v1.7] [Defiant Explorer]

[Defiant Explorer]

Yes, it's obvious we're running in circles here, so let's just leave it at that. And you're right, the willpower thing kind of solves it so all is good.

The only thing I can advise is to start a new game, distributing exp points so as not to leave lvl 0 Abilities (for example, five lvl 1 Abilities and one lvl 3). Since only Abilities > 0 can be enhanced with Insight. Optionally, you can take one of the easier starts (+10/+20 Insight). That way you'll be best prepared for situations that don't go in the direction you like.

 

[_DarkDesires_]

Spoiler: they heard. I could add an option for the protagonist to be quieter, or at least try, but there's still Cadonis howling at the end... So, it's kinda useless.

If you are thinking of adding an extra option, might I make a suggestion?

Mostly there's at least one option with each dialogue for the protagonist to be either non-verbal or non-enthusiastic in her replies during that scene. But then it appears Selene has no other option but to agree "that everyone should know how well Cadonis fucked her woman", which just fucks up immersion imho. Perhaps add something like "be resentfully silent" as an option? I find the other non-agreeable reply "look, we just fucked..." something a jaded whore would say, not an innocent female who has possibly just lost her virginity.

 

[Defiant Explorer]

If you are thinking of adding an extra option, might I make a suggestion?

Mostly there's at least one option with each dialogue for the protagonist to be either non-verbal or non-enthusiastic in her replies during that scene. But then it appears Selene has no other option but to agree "that everyone should know how well Cadonis fucked her woman", which just fucks up immersion imho. Perhaps add something like "be resentfully silent" as an option? I find the other non-agreeable reply "look, we just fucked..." something a jaded whore would say, not an innocent female who has possibly just lost her virginity.

I'm not particularly considering adding more options in or around this scene. Right now I'm busy adding scenes to 1.3, one by one. I need a good reason to put off working on the update and go back for refinements.

For example, the "be quieter" options don't make much sense, even if the protagonist would have sex silently and then (somehow) gag Cadonis during his "howling". Because it was clear to everyone from the moment they kissed during the rehearsal what is going on and where it was going. They've been traveling with Cadonis for a long time and know his habits. Iolanta didn't even hide her irritation. This will be better revealed in 1.3.

Regarding your suggestion. Do you mean this point?

Spoiler

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Actually, thank you for bringing it to my attention. The answer to the line "Sure, no problem" is not correct and (it seems) I accidentally deleted the correct version from the draft when translating. That's a good reason for refinement. I'll fix it now. I'll also add your "resentfully silent." Why not? You'll see these changes in 1.3.

 

[Defiant Explorer]

_DarkDesires_ Aaaand... done!

Spoiler: Your line added.

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Spoiler: What happens if you click on it.

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The answer to the line "Sure, no problem" also has been replaced by the correct one. All this will be with 1.3. since these are not critical bugs and emergency fix version is not needed.

 

[_DarkDesires_]

I'm not particularly considering adding more options in or around this scene. Right now I'm busy adding scenes to 1.3, one by one. I need a good reason to put off working on the update and go back for refinements.

For example, the "be quieter" options don't make much sense, even if the protagonist would have sex silently and then (somehow) gag Cadonis during his "howling". Because it was clear to everyone from the moment they kissed during the rehearsal what is going on and where it was going. They've been traveling with Cadonis for a long time and know his habits. Iolanta didn't even hide her irritation. This will be better revealed in 1.3.

Regarding your suggestion. Do you mean this point?

Spoiler

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Actually, thank you for bringing it to my attention. The answer to the line "Sure, no problem" is not correct and (it seems) I accidentally deleted the correct version from the draft when translating. That's a good reason for refinement. I'll fix it now. I'll also add your "resentfully silent." Why not? You'll see these changes in 1.3.

_DarkDesires_ Aaaand... done!

Spoiler: Your line added.

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Spoiler: What happens if you click on it.

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The answer to the line "Sure, no problem" also has been replaced by the correct one. All this will be with 1.3. since these are not critical bugs and emergency fix version is not needed.

Thank you, much obliged! ...and glad that was helpful for you as well

Btw that 1st screenshot just underscores how fabulous the dialogue variance is in this game. Never seen that "thought you had feelings for me..." before, and the reply to it. The fact that my playthrough felt completely different in the tone of that conversation is what I really like. That probably takes quite a bit of work, but rest assured it's really appreciated.

 

[Defiant Explorer]

Thank you, much obliged! ...and glad that was helpful for you as well

Btw that 1st screenshot just underscores how fabulous the dialogue variance is in this game. Never seen that "thought you had feelings for me..." before, and the reply to it. The fact that my playthrough felt completely different in the tone of that conversation is what I really like. That probably takes quite a bit of work, but rest assured it's really appreciated.

Specifically, this line (and all its variations) appears only if the protagonist "bites" during Cadonis's "love" at the beginning of this scene. In general, there are quite many moments in the game where some options appear or disappear depending on previously made choices.

 

[legolasistaken]

hello i recently played your game ver. 1.0 and quite liked it but i am not used to play text based games even though i am enjoying much. The question is there any possibility to add some sex scene illustrations maybe just one for scene ? i know this is text based but it could make it easier to transition for players like me

 

[Defiant Explorer]

hello i recently played your game ver. 1.0 and quite liked it but i am not used to play text based games even though i am enjoying much. The question is there any possibility to add some sex scene illustrations maybe just one for scene ? i know this is text based but it could make it easier to transition for players like me

Mm-mm... no. There are so many reasons for this that if I start listing them, it would be a huge wall of text. So the short answer is no.

 

[Defiant Explorer]

When you want to play in RPG as a character with a cool head and strong personality, but left willpower at 0 and was already fucked at the beginning of Chapter 2... What to do, what to do... Of course, write a review!

But seriously, guys, plan builds, keep some Insight points in reserve. I feel a little worried, because this chapter is going to be a much nastier situation, with an obvious non-con threat. And it's getting closer. And it won't be a pathetic check, where it's enough to have 1 Willpower in the base, but a series of checks on different Abilities. And in case of failure... guess what happens.

 

[legolasistaken]

Mm-mm... no. There are so many reasons for this that if I start listing them, it would be a huge wall of text. So the short answer is no.

hello i am actually talking about drawings not explainatry sex texts

 

[Defiant Explorer]

hello i am actually talking about drawings not explainatry sex texts

Yeah, I understand what you mean - you wrote about it, like, straight up. But you won't let me escape the wall of text without explanations, huh? Fiiiine...

• I have no money for an artist. Right now the game is barely collecting for its own development.
• One drawing, as you suggested, is surely not enough for most of my scenes. Given their variations, there's a need for at least 3-4. For each scene.
• Porn/hentai gifs from the internet I'm not even considering. It's a stylistic nightmare.
• I'm not sure it's a good idea at all. Text and images are perceived differently. Text engages the imagination to the fullest. Images, on the other hand, relax it. Yes, some formats combine these two approaches (like VN), but my game requires your imagination to work to its fullest. Non-critical moments are accompanied by art as it is. Portraits relieve me of the need to give descriptions of appearances every time. Just like maps serve the same function, especially in locations where the story allows freedom of movement. But the sex scenes... that's different. Specifically, in my game, the effect of accompanying them with art can be exactly the opposite of what I want. Instead of immersion through reading some people will start lazily clicking looking for art for quick wanky-wanky.
• So the art for the sex scenes will move me from the niche of text games to 2D/3D. And I'm quite warm and cozy in the niche of text games. Here I control the key element, the text, rather than relying on an outside artist.
• I don't think any "transition" is necessary. People who are used to reading comics can read books. Yes, it will take them a little time to adapt, but that's all. I don't think authors of books should turn them into comics, even if the audience for comics is larger. It's not just about the money here.
• Some text game authors are complex out mentally in the vein of "oh no, I don't have images! Need to do something!" And me? Nope. I've seen some devs do with their text games all sorts of perversions, remake the introduction for 2-3 years for purely design "improvements" that in no way improve the gameplay or tried to cram their games into 2D or whatever, completely forgetting that their main element - the text, is really something worth working on. I don't have the slightest desire to set foot on that path. Instead, I'll keep pushing the story forward, step by step.
• So you're either with me, enjoying the game, or farewell. There are more than enough games with graphics for every taste, but not mine. I'm doing something... different.

I could go on, but enough is enough. I hope I have answered your question. As well as any potential questions from other players about these topics.

 

[Z3r0K00l]

So far the game suffers from a low amount of lewd content and what little there is, is just a one time thing only.
There's also a massive amount of railroading for a game, it's something that would fit a book better but looks offplace in a game.

There's also not much content so it may still be too early to make a critique like mine.

Also your most common grammar mistake would be omitting articles, for example In the character creator, in each of the race's description and in each of the origin's background stories you tend to leave out articles a lot, im an ESL myself so i'll leave it to a native speaker to point out and fix these mistakes.

 

[Defiant Explorer]

So far the game suffers from a low amount of lewd content and what little there is, is just a one time thing only.
There's also a massive amount of railroading for a game, it's something that would fit a book better but looks offplace in a game.

There's also not much content so it may still be too early to make a critique like mine.

Also your most common grammar mistake would be omitting articles, for example In the character creator, in each of the race's description and in each of the origin's background stories you tend to leave out articles a lot, im an ESL myself so i'll leave it to a native speaker to point out and fix these mistakes.

"Low amount of lewd". There is more than enough lewd stuff in the game. Perhaps even too much. If you want a carnival of nonstop sex without any sane context around it, see other games here. I use a more realistic approach.

"Railroading". This is a narrative RPG, which means you can't go beyond the story, that's how this genre works. No open world or sandbox has been announced and demanding them is weird, to say the least. If you think I'm not giving you enough choices... Well, name me an example to follow, a game in the same genre where more choices. Please. At least one.

"Most common grammar mistake". I would be grateful for more precise indications of where and what is wrong.

 

[Z3r0K00l]

"Low amount of lewd". There is more than enough lewd stuff in the game. Perhaps even too much. If you want a carnival of nonstop sex without any sane context around it, see other games here. I use a more realistic approach.

"Railroading". This is a narrative RPG, which means you can't go beyond the story, that's how this genre works. No open world or sandbox has been announced and demanding them is weird, to say the least. If you think I'm not giving you enough choices... Well, name me an example to follow, a game in the same genre where more choices. Please. At least one.

"Most common grammar mistake". I would be grateful for more precise indications of where and what is wrong.

You haven't even made clear whether the game is a porn game or just a game that happens to have porn in it, going by your answer im guessing is the second one. i cant be faulted for assuming it was the first if you take in consideration the site in which you choose to advertise it.

About the railroading, any bethesda game and even DnD serve as an example, your heavy use of rpg stats hinted that that was the direction you were trying to go to.

These are a few examples about the grammar mistakes i was talking about:
First screen after accepting the disclaimer:

Somewhere in the Valatean Republic, north of the capital, an exhausted lonely girl fell asleep just in the middle of a forest. Who is she and what doing here?

it should be: what is she doing here?

Ranalian description:

«Red-haired barbarians at the gates!» is a typical reaction to a group of Ranalians. Former nomads, that begin to lead a sedentary lifestyle. More or less. Demolishers of ancient Сaladan Empire. Ranala, their newly conquered homeland, is a source of headache for all neighboring lands.

Ranalians infamous as raiders, robbers, murderers, rapists, wife kidnappers... the list goes on. People of mixed blood, offsprings of their raids, are often persecuted. Red hair and fair skin is enough reason for locals.

Demolishers of the ancient Caladan Empire...
Ranalians are infamous as raiders...

It's better if a native double checks it though.

 

[Defiant Explorer]

You haven't even made clear whether the game is a porn game or just a game that happens to have porn in it, going by your answer im guessing is the second one. i cant be faulted for assuming it was the first if you take in consideration the site in which you choose to advertise it.

Am I haven't even made it clear? Or maybe some people just don't read? The first thing any player sees when entering the game, the second paragraph, specifically about sex content:

Spoiler

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Also, point 6 in Game Futures:

Spoiler

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The game is also posted on itch and Patreon, not only here.

About the railroading, any bethesda game and even DnD serve as an example, your heavy use of rpg stats hinted that that was the direction you were trying to go to.

Seriously? Bethesda specializes in AAA open-world RPGs (Skyrim, Fallout, etc). And there's no sex content. DnD is a tabletop role-playing system, what does it have to do with this? I make a narrative, story-based, call-whatever-you-want, RPG. Not an open world, which I never promised or even planned to. I asked you for an example in a comparable weight class - an adult text-based game where the author(s) give you more choices than I do. Your examples... are inappropriate, to say the least.

By the way, Bethesda games are the same railroad. Oh, you are Dovahkiin, the Chosen One, the world is in danger, and only you can save it. To do that, you have to go through linear quests, one by one, walking around and killing stuff. The only thing you're free to do is the way you kill stuff.

Well, how is that different from what I do, minus the open world and killing stuff? However, I removed not only those things but also a bunch of clichés. You are not a chosen one. The world is not in danger. No dark overlords need to be backstabbed once to make their armies crumble to ashes...

That's funny anyway. So you expect me alone to do everything the big studios do, but with sex content? Don't you think the problem here is not with my game but with your expectations, which are just a little bit excessive?


P.S. But thank you for pointing out grammatical errors. It's a helpful piece. English is foreign to me, which I didn't hide. I'll correct them tomorrow. If you find more, please let me know.

 

[Z3r0K00l]

Am I haven't even made it clear? Or maybe some people just don't read? The first thing any player sees when entering the game, the second paragraph, specifically about sex content:

Spoiler

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Also, point 6 in Game Futures:

Spoiler

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The game is also posted on itch and Patreon, not only here.



Seriously? Bethesda specializes in AAA open-world RPGs (Skyrim, Fallout, etc). And there's no sex content. DnD is a tabletop role-playing system, what does it have to do with this? I make a narrative, story-based, call-whatever-you-want, RPG. Not an open world, which I never promised or even planned to. I asked you for an example in a comparable weight class - an adult text-based game where the author(s) give you more choices than I do. Your examples... are inappropriate, to say the least.

By the way, Bethesda games are the same railroad. Oh, you are Dovahkiin, the Chosen One, the world is in danger, and only you can save it. To do that, you have to go through linear quests, one by one, walking around and killing stuff. The only thing you're free to do is the way you kill stuff.

Well, how is that different from what I do, minus the open world and killing stuff? However, I removed not only those things but also a bunch of clichés. You are not a chosen one. The world is not in danger. No dark overlords need to be backstabbed once to make their armies crumble to ashes...

That's funny anyway. So you expect me alone to do everything the big studios do, but with sex content? Don't you think the problem here is not with my game but with your expectations, which are just a little bit excessive?


P.S. But thank you for pointing out grammatical errors. It's a helpful piece. English is foreign to me, which I didn't hide. I'll correct them tomorrow. If you find more, please let me know.

I see you have no real interest in fair criticism but on strawmanning every single argument that you receive, that's sad but you do you. I have no more interest in wasting my breath.

 

[Defiant Explorer]

I see you have no real interest in fair criticism but on strawmanning every single argument that you receive, that's sad but you do you. I have no more interest in wasting my breath.

That's the problem. Criticism must take into account the genre and peculiarities of the work, otherwise, it's not a criticism but just picking. For example, "MC is another Mary Sue," or "the work is deeply secondary, and I've seen that 100 times before," or "this character suddenly behaves differently than before, and there's no explanation for it." That's criticism.

If it still doesn't make sense, a more famous example. "Daenerys was adequate the whole show, and then at the end, she suddenly went insane in less than one episode and committed genocide on the entire city." Now that's a critical commentary.

But if it was, like, "I love spaceships, why aren't they fighting on them and also on laser swords? Dragons, yuck. 1/10 to that shit." And that's some weird nagging.

I receive little or no criticism, but I do receive a lot of weird picking from some people. Your's "railroad" is another example. As if that weren't true for any story game. Even with an open world, you're just allowed to make more stops, but eventually, you'll arrive from point A to point B. That's how any story works.

But honestly, that's not the strangest picking on my game yet. Were even weirder, if that makes you feel better. Also, your comment contained a helpful piece with grammatical errors as well. Now I'll finish writing this and go fix them in the game. So, thanks anyway.

 

[GravGrav]

I see you have no real interest in fair criticism but on strawmanning every single argument that you receive, that's sad but you do you. I have no more interest in wasting my breath.

Where's the fair criticism exactly? You've just been complaining that this game isn't an entirely different kind of game.

 

[applesnacks1111]

I see you have no real interest in fair criticism but on strawmanning every single argument that you receive, that's sad but you do you. I have no more interest in wasting my breath.

I'm all for criticizing developers and pushing them to make their game better, but... you're not using 'strawman' correctly. The developer literally went through your criticism and provided a counterargument to each point. They did not put any words in your mouth. Feel free to disagree with the counterargument, sure, but there's no strawman here, I assure you.

Sounds like the game just isn't for you. That' fine! Comparing it to Bethesda games is absolutely hilarious and completely absurd, though. This is just one guy messing around in Twine. Take it for what it is and enjoy it. Or don't.

 

[Z3r0K00l]

I'm all for criticizing developers and pushing them to make their game better, but... you're not using 'strawman' correctly. The developer literally went through your criticism and provided a counterargument to each point. They did not put any words in your mouth. Feel free to disagree with the counterargument, sure, but there's no strawman here, I assure you.

Sounds like the game just isn't for you. That' fine! Comparing it to Bethesda games is absolutely hilarious and completely absurd, though. This is just one guy messing around in Twine. Take it for what it is and enjoy it. Or don't.

So comparing a narrative driven rpg to another narrative driven rpg is "incredible absurd"? and pretending i was asking for equivalence between a triple A game and a text based twine game isnt a strawman at all? lmfao.