The writing is pretty stupid and cringe, I like it a lot though.
Update 0.4: *dabs*
We're off to a good start this version. Though, the folder inside the zip is IntoYH-v.0.3.3-pc still, not 0.4. The game does have more content, the folder name just wasn't updated. And overwriting the last update with this one breaks it because of having two phone texting files or something idk. Simple enough, delete the folder and extract the new one instead of overwriting and mixing. But mentioning it. It is rather odd.
Every time a game introduces me to a new character suddenly and thrusts me into a lewd scene when I barely know them:
First loop animation fucking "that bitch" doesn't loop well, a very jarring jump (pretty much any loop with the dancers in the shot are at least noticeably jerking, but the most jarring is the first). Second loop is clean. You wrote "rising the bar" instead of "raising the bar"
You wrote "shut the fuck off" instead of "shut the fuck up" but I do like it.
Eris says "Like this?." Erroneous period after the question mark.
Koga says "My girlfriend gave me a hand care" — and yeah rock it queen, treat yo self — but most English-speakers actually call it a manicure. Mad props, too many men with massacres for nails, like fuck off man. Clean under the nails, cut them properly, file them to a clean curve. I won't say most should be putting polish on, but a little actual care to have nice hands is absolutely a thing men gotta step up to doing. Eris, promote that man.
I appreciate the self-suck. Don't see that enough, especially when the dick isn't a hideous affront to god.
Eris says "My others men" instead of "My other men"
I'm going to hit you with the most pedantic and penisy nitpick I can:
kerning. That r and n have too little separation in this typeface. (I don't actually care and can read it fine but strangely I can't open the accessibility menu in renpy that lets me change fonts in most things)
"That's my sarcasm spine!" is one of the phrases of all time. That's not a good line, but I enjoy it. I think you overdid it in general with the quips here. I assume you
intend there to be 0 tension, which is the case, but most of it is not funny at all and I don't think it really suits Manami to also quip. Yuzuki could quip, she's more accustomed to this stuff. But her quips mostly suck. I do think "that scratch brings out your inner gremlin" is good. They have a plan, but I think fewer quips that are better is superior to a lot of low quality quips. Too quirky.
"I hate women that talks to much" should be "I hate women that talk too much." No s after talk and needs two Os in too.
Manami says "She's the reason my mom is what it is." Should be "is what she is"
I swear to god if Akane's cheating arc is with an ugly smelly retard then I know you're deliberately trying to fuck with me. (looks avoidable though)
I miss Koga. The manicure really elevated him in my eyes. Dude has standards. Fuck it, if Akane cheats with smegtard,
I'll fuck Koga. One of us should!
A... A touching tank? Is that a thing? Aquariums that let you molest the fish? Not at the one I went to ó.O
And there it is. A good chunk of time on the update.
Really teasing with the NTR for a bit there. Especially when a clown in the restroom at the aquarium pulls out the cock and it just cuts to Nats, Akane walking out with no answer as to what actually happened in there. I imagine the details come out in the next update when Akane meets them again at the beach and it's probably that nothing really happened in there, just stun and some flirting but Akane wasn't ready to suck cock right then and there.
I said last time that I had some hopes but no confidence, but wasn't going to rate since I'd give it a chance and see where things go. I am feeling some confidence. At least, I think I'll continue to enjoy it. Akane losing her virginity without permission — maybe both a scenario where it's netorase but she gets caught up in the moment and doesn't want to hold back, and a scenario where she's cheating behind his back — is definitely something I'm looking forward to. Primarily I want her really cheating, not catering to Nats' fetish, but I like the netorase stuff too.
