Ren'Py Jack's Story [v0.1b] [VUDU]

[THE KILLER 13]

vudurebel76 thanks for sharing.

 

[xmilteach]

thx

 

[vudurebel76]

You're trying to sell people on the game here. You don't want to give away everything that happens, but you do want to give potential players a reason to check it out; as it is, 'Jack faces life with all that comes with it' conveys almost no information about the game's story. What is there to catch someone's interest here? Particularly when, at any given moment, there are a dozen or so other games being launched or updated with similar "young man lives life" premises?

For a comparison, imagine reading a synopsis of Star Wars that says "a young man faces life in the galaxy". Would that make you say "I've gotta watch this"? Now you don't want that synopsis to say "Luke learns the evil Darth Vader is really his father and sets out to redeem him and overthrow the Emperor". That really would be spoiling everything. You want something that hints at the interesting bits without spelling out all the details. Like, "a young farm boy learns to wield a power he never imagined as he joins the fight against an evil Empire". That's interesting enough to want to learn more about, without getting specific about important story twists.

I suppose you're right. I assumed that the tags would do that on their own, but apparently one cannot assume...
Thanks for your input! I'll see what can be done!

 

[Ozygator]

I suppose you're right. I assumed that the tags would do that on their own, but apparently one cannot assume...
Thanks for your input! I'll see what can be done!

If all the currently listed tags are not in the actual version of the game, please split them into "Current" and "Planned" or something of that nature. Otherwise, people will DL the game thinking all of that is there in the demo and give a (correctly) negative review

 

[goulet1995]

Sorry, not avoidable at all if you want to play the game properly. The only thing avoidable while somewhat keeping the game's integrity is incest.

is the prostitute a LI?

 

[vudurebel76]

is the prostitute a LI?

Yes.

 

[joryh]

Amazing... it's been literally 10 minutes since the release and the haters are already here. Well, seems like it's gonna be a popular thread...

Saying a cpl chars, who look like a bucket of smashed crabs, are ugly, isn't hate, it's a fact. Acting as if everyone has to pretend they are hot is just your toxic positivity.

 

[JennaJJ]

... Thx 4 the share ...

 

[Skargaroth]

kid looks like he's in the 40s lol

though even with that, I hope this game sees it through to completion.. Far too many being abandoned

 

[Stil996]

....Now you don't want that synopsis to say "Luke learns the evil Darth Vader is really his father and sets out to redeem him and overthrow the Emperor"....

WTF man... Spoilers .... I was going to watch that next week, now I might as well not bother

 

[GustavoGanz]

Amazing... it's been literally 10 minutes since the release and the haters are already here. Well, seems like it's gonna be a popular thread...

well, what did you expect, you're on F95.

I hate: incest, bdsm, ugly chars, piss, bestiality, women, men gay, lesbian, etc. And then there's I hate everything that's on F95. And yet everyone is here. Many are just here to puke their guts out.

I find your game quite promising for the start ... currently too short to say more.

 

[esteban gonzales]

View attachment 4758462 View attachment 4758463

Gotdang who pissed in this family's gene pool?

They can't be related. Only she has the chin dimple. A friend told me.

 

[Chris2041]

I suppose you're right. I assumed that the tags would do that on their own, but apparently one cannot assume...
Thanks for your input! I'll see what can be done!

First rule of marketing you have to make a good ad to sell your game
( I dont have a idea of marketing )

 

[Cajun Fox]

Thanks for the share

 

[L U C Y]

Sorry, not avoidable at all if you want to play the game properly. The only thing avoidable while somewhat keeping the game's integrity is incest.

Okay but who, What is the plot of the game? what's the plans, The sinopsis don't give much about the game at all, don't take it as criticism, I'm curious to what to expect from the game, it has MILF and Prostituition, it caught my attention already

 

[vudurebel76]

Okay but who, What is the plot of the game? what's the plans, The sinopsis don't give much about the game at all, don't take it as criticism, I'm curious to what to expect from the game, it has MILF and Prostituition, it caught my attention already

I'm going to re-write the overview as soon as I finish the content I'm working on right now, providing a more comprehensive sinopsis and unveiling a little bit more of the plot without spoiling too much. No point in bothering the mods with just an overview update...
I'll include more samples and more content, as this "DEMO" is definitely more of a "teaser" than a "DEMO", but I released it too soon...got too excited about finally deciding to making my first game...
Sincerely hope you'll enjoy it!
And thanks for your input!!!

 

[Sid01]

It's hard to judge the game for now. I won't criticize the models because everyone started somewhere and no one became a professional right away. I wish you luck.

 

[JamTart]

Far to short a "Demo" for me to know if I want to support this. As for the models, MC is fine, Mom has that MILF next door look that I like, but the other woman looks generic pornstar plastic, which I don't like. The Mom is what's going to sell this game to me, but just not enough content to make an informed choice.

Good luck xxx

 

[zeus04]

:Amore:

 

[vudurebel76]

Well, apparently the update didn't make it to the update page... anyway, it's there and ready to download, now a more appropriate sized DEMO with triple the content from the initial release. I'll be waiting for your feedback! Hope you enjoy!