Writing is bad, but I suppose you can fix that in post production. Premise seems ambitious, we'll see where you run with it. Expected more from a demo, but then, I didn't exactly pay for it...
Thanks for the feedback. I'll be honest, the writing from the original work hasn't really had a chance to feature yet, I think I'm trying to do a hybrid and perhaps not hitting either mark?
Yeah I suppose demo isn't the right word, I think I was trying to differentiate this particular game from the others, because these storylines don't fit with any of the other "Main' stories. Which is why you are just thrust straight into the game. This is just my way of getting to grips with DAZ, releases, trying to put my best writing work out there in the other stories and building up the universe I created with Jessica’s Choices, but in a VN way.
Next release drops tomorrow which has given me some flexibility in some of the directions I've gone down. As a side note, this VN will always be free and will serve as a testing ground before I release the others.
Probably important to note too, that this VN will have a minimum of 100 individual choices that take the reader down different paths, paths that you might not see if you go a different way (but that is going to take some time)