I'm not too concerned which kinks are in/out of the story in terms of my own personal desires. I know some devs have their desired kinks and write a story around them, while I'd say I am more story focused, and the kinks are wrapping around it instead. This is why I'm not so flexible on my plot outline, but much more flexible on specific kinks in scenes (if it matches the vibe/sensibilities of certain characters/story beats).
So what is to you the point of having kinks in the story at all? Do they embellish the story, or show us aspects of the characters that you find interesting and want to focus on or draw attention to? Or are they, as it were, just part of the atmosphere?
(I am actually quite interested in the narrative potential of sex in general, including kinks. There are literary genres based on certain aspects of life -- the 'war story' jumps to mind -- in which this aspect plays a major role by itself, comparable to story/plot and characterization. I've always wondered if sex could be like that, rather than simply a pleasant thing, like a butterfly or a sunset, to look at and describe in fiction.)
I'm almost always open to kink suggestions and will consider anything if it seems to match the narrative, but on the other hand, I'd never listen to suggestions for character motivations, desires, and story elements. I feel like some players are getting true enjoyment from some theory crafting too, and being able to throw in subtle hints here and there I think make it more fun for a certain subset of players.
Skimming through the thread, I think you're right, and it is quite heartwarming to see people in what is often described as a 'fap forum' actually finding real enjoyment and interest in other aspects of a certain work. (Which is not to say that I dislike the 'fap aspects' at all -- quite the opposite; it's just that they are not everything.) Creating a good narrative demands skill, and it is always good to see this skill being appreciated.
I'm actually curious if devs ever get off on their own work, because generally for me, I don't much at all. I'm too into the workflow to get the same experience players do. Recently, I have only literally...err...enjoyed a specific monthly Patron set and I personally didn't render it, my assistant Anais did so I think that mattered as I wasn't working on it all the time, etc.
Since, alas, my plans to become a dev have gone awry, I cannot talk from personal experience there. Having written a couple of tales, and having had a couple of ideas that I liked, I can say it is perfectly possible to become quite aroused while developing them -- so even a session you start as work may end up becoming, err, enjoyable. But I'd be curious about other real devs think. (I get the impression that the devs who worked on projects like Femdom Hotel, Peniban Quest, Estate: Dominate, Dominant Witches (to a lesser extent), Femdom City: Mantis, etc., must have, ahn, enjoyed them as well; they put so much effort into making them so adoringly enjoyable!... But I don't know that for a fact.)
To give a few examples, I have a personal kink (maybe kind of unique) of having numerous subs immobilized in various ways serving as living furniture/dolls and such. Random examples are: statutes, "living art" displayed on the walls, a hanging chandelier with 5-6 men hanging upside down, a bathroom "mat" when I get out of the shower and they have to just have their face sticking out of the floor (just their face as their body is under the floor) as I stand there on them drying off, a table, lamp, a makeshift "shower decoration" where I pull down on an attached lever near/on his body and the water comes and I just shower in front of his still body, attached literally to an exercise machine and I can get in shape while they are just inches away but unable to move, and so on. And I have done a little of that in game, but I don't sense it's quite right to focus on it for the story at all too much. Since they can't really move much, is it really that interesting beyond just casual shots of it with random people sometimes? (I really don't know) My favorite scene in 0.5 in some ways was just the fireplace scene with the two guys stacked as "tables." For me, I kind of like that and feel I'm more into casual ignoring being more sadistic than active say whipping, paddling, etc.
Interesting. The aspect of reducing men to objects (objectification in its truest sense) is certainly quite appealing; but it seems you like the ignoring aspect more than the utilitarian one. (Would you enjoy the feeling of the men's faces in your bathroom "mat" more than the unfairness of not paying any attention to them, for instance? Would the enjoyment come from a feeling of "power" -- I don't have to attend to these objects! -- or from a "sensuality" -- I use them to feel better? I'm honestly just curious.)
I remember a hentai (?) I read once in Italian ages ago, about an island of dominant females (the island itself was shaped like a stiletto-heeled boot), with lots of scenes of men in this kind of situation: faces on the floor with women walking all over them, men used as decorative elements in big ballrooms, or immobilized upside down with their penises dangling out to be used as coat hangers... it was fascinating. A pity I don't have it anymore.
I actually wanted to have the Board room meeting in 0.3 with all the women sitting on living chairs, but that would have meant like 14-15 characters in the scene, and my computer at the time could never pull it off.
One can dream, though!
Another example is very loving femdom, which is actually more alike my own personality for a boyfriend, true lover in real life. (And I admit I almost have in my head two tiers of men -- the one (or maybe another one or two) I like, and everyone else) I also think it magnifies the value of that one sub even more if I have others that I casually ignore. But on some level, I imagine it to be kind of boring for a lot of players in this type of story? I am not sure I can write it in an exciting way because it would be really soft/fluffy/romantic which I would like, but not sure most would. But I am experimenting with it a little in 0.6 with one character and we'll see how it plays I guess.
I've never met a sadistic woman IRL (ah life!), but I have met a sadistic man (who was so mild-mannered -- he's a pediatrician and quite good with children -- I'd never imagined what kind of preferences he had), and he said something similar. It seems that the view of 'love' (or 'bond' or 'knot' or however you see the connection you have to the people in your life) as something ... specific, not very flexible, is not true. In fact, if we can have different kinds of interests in other people -- we like/love some as romantic partners, others as friends, others as relatives, others as colleagues and/or subordinates -- then why not have two tiers for men in one's mind?)
Frankly, I don't think soft/fluffy/romantic is something most people would dislike; it's a genre, let's say the "romcom of femdom," which can be done quite well by itself. Personally, I have very extreme tastes; and yet one of the stories I enjoyed the most from F95 was Thinking of You, which is quite soft. And I remember the dev of Femdom Wives saying that he wanted to capture 'the magic of those softcore femdom stories' which he remembered having red in the old days of Usenet, and which sparked such wild thoughts in his imagination... I remember feeling like that about similar stories, too, and I think there are many others around here who likewise enjoy such stories.
What I think often happens is that people who are into more extreme things are also more verbal about them around here (and I suspect on Patreon), because they don't have many other places (especially not IRL) where they can express this interest without creeping other people out.