- May 7, 2022
- 13
- 77
For now there are five options to deal with Duzz:
1. Kill her, 2.Rape her, 3.Pet her, 4.Fuck her and 5.Let her go
Thank you i will do my best to keep giving the maximum of freedom possible for you choices
- Thread starter J.A.A.G. Studio
- Start date
1. Kill her, 2.Rape her, 3.Pet her, 4.Fuck her and 5.Let her go
Alright, real talk here.
You should have taken more time before releasing this.
First things first. I don't consider the visuals to be the most important aspect in a game, but this is really pushing it. It looks janky as fuck. The color scheme is repulsive to look at. Duzz is the most hideous creature I've ever encountered lol. The queen mother looks like a 15 year old girl. The dragon girl looks like a damn goblin. Her moniker is the "Blood Dragon" but she is neon green.... Most of the backgrounds look horrible. Seriously, this is something you can improve on easily with just more practice and a sensible approach to the art.
I will echo the other guy's criticism that the choices are way too extreme. You want to build up to it, not just turn him into a psychopath right off the bat. Try to be reasonable in the interactions between characters. The elf slave is just a slave so he could treat her however he wants. However, he shouldn't like a petulant child to the Queen. Pushing her away is a sign of weakness. It seems like MC is going, "Mom~~~! Don't hug me in front of everyone!" In this situation, the dominant move would be more subtle. Maybe commanding her in a dominant tone. Or even just raising your finger like "Nope, not here."
Think about what kinda character you want to portray. If you really want a dominant corrupting alpha MC who takes what he wants, make the choices line up with that. Don't just include random acts of violence and needless cruelty just to be "evil." Like you don't have to talk shit all the time to your family and friends to be this evil MC. You can dominate them in subtle ways where they will gradually submit to your will.
Your English needs improvement. There are lots of grammar issues. Another problem in the writing is the name for the elf slave. The evil choice will name her "Slave." Slave is a position, not a name. It doesn't make sense to introduce her as "Slave" to other people. This is "slave." Oh, hi "slave, nice to meet you. It sounds stupid as hell. Using the name variable that could be anything from "slave" to "cumguzzler" to her actual name in a sentence that doesn't sound stupid is really hard. You need to keep things like that in mind when writing the dialogues.
What I liked was the flavor text based on your class and alignment. Things like that are always nice to see. Just try to make use of this technique enough to create a coherent persona for the MC. Devs often miss adding alternate dialogues for the evil MC when it is needed, resulting in a bipolar MC who alternates wildly between a good boy and a psychopath.
Other than that, I think you are biting off more than you can chew with the Orc/human MC. I'm guessing the Orc story will follow a totally different progression than the human side? That is like making 2 entirely different stories. Leave the Orc MC for when you actually completed the human story.
There definitely has potential, but honestly, the first thing you need to work on the redoing the entire art direction. Honey Select can be beautiful if you put in the effort. The second thing you might want to think about is what you consider a well executed evil MC. It seems like a petulant man-child is your idea of a evil MC. Don't know about others, but this MC comes off as really weak and childish to me. Lastly, get a proofreader if you can.
Good luck.
You should have taken more time before releasing this.
First things first. I don't consider the visuals to be the most important aspect in a game, but this is really pushing it. It looks janky as fuck. The color scheme is repulsive to look at. Duzz is the most hideous creature I've ever encountered lol. The queen mother looks like a 15 year old girl. The dragon girl looks like a damn goblin. Her moniker is the "Blood Dragon" but she is neon green.... Most of the backgrounds look horrible. Seriously, this is something you can improve on easily with just more practice and a sensible approach to the art.
I will echo the other guy's criticism that the choices are way too extreme. You want to build up to it, not just turn him into a psychopath right off the bat. Try to be reasonable in the interactions between characters. The elf slave is just a slave so he could treat her however he wants. However, he shouldn't like a petulant child to the Queen. Pushing her away is a sign of weakness. It seems like MC is going, "Mom~~~! Don't hug me in front of everyone!" In this situation, the dominant move would be more subtle. Maybe commanding her in a dominant tone. Or even just raising your finger like "Nope, not here."
Think about what kinda character you want to portray. If you really want a dominant corrupting alpha MC who takes what he wants, make the choices line up with that. Don't just include random acts of violence and needless cruelty just to be "evil." Like you don't have to talk shit all the time to your family and friends to be this evil MC. You can dominate them in subtle ways where they will gradually submit to your will.
Your English needs improvement. There are lots of grammar issues. Another problem in the writing is the name for the elf slave. The evil choice will name her "Slave." Slave is a position, not a name. It doesn't make sense to introduce her as "Slave" to other people. This is "slave." Oh, hi "slave, nice to meet you. It sounds stupid as hell. Using the name variable that could be anything from "slave" to "cumguzzler" to her actual name in a sentence that doesn't sound stupid is really hard. You need to keep things like that in mind when writing the dialogues.
What I liked was the flavor text based on your class and alignment. Things like that are always nice to see. Just try to make use of this technique enough to create a coherent persona for the MC. Devs often miss adding alternate dialogues for the evil MC when it is needed, resulting in a bipolar MC who alternates wildly between a good boy and a psychopath.
Other than that, I think you are biting off more than you can chew with the Orc/human MC. I'm guessing the Orc story will follow a totally different progression than the human side? That is like making 2 entirely different stories. Leave the Orc MC for when you actually completed the human story.
There definitely has potential, but honestly, the first thing you need to work on the redoing the entire art direction. Honey Select can be beautiful if you put in the effort. The second thing you might want to think about is what you consider a well executed evil MC. It seems like a petulant man-child is your idea of a evil MC. Don't know about others, but this MC comes off as really weak and childish to me. Lastly, get a proofreader if you can.
Good luck.
- Sep 6, 2017
- 1,064
- 1,267
I want a game with rape and pillage in it.
(Thank you kindly for your prompt response. It's good to see you noting what I hope to be constructive criticism with grace, and addressing such. It increases my hope for this project, which I will very much be keeping an eye on, and hope to see succeed. Thank you for your time, and good luck!)
Will do
Thank you for your comment, i'm starting now and comments like these help me to better my game. Your concern is a good one, one that i also have. I won't lie it's not gonna be easy to balance good/evil in a perfect way so i'm thinking of tracking your good/evil choices in relantionship with one variable nd the good/evil choices related to plot (Kill, rob, conquer...) in another variable so that way you can be good to your loved ones if you wish and still be evil. But i will fixing the morality system along the way so few free to point out things like this along the way that really help
EDIT: The "I don't care" choice is because she is introducing herself to you and you don't care who she is you just want to fuck her and be done.
About the grammar i will keep an eye out and fix the mistakes or in the future find someone to do it
It crossed my mind giving you like a dragon age origins game. the games is the same but the intro and some reactions change with different MC. Since it's my first i thought it would be best to add just 2 MC's so that way i don't take too long bringing updates to the others, but if everything goes well i can't see why not add an MC from each region
Hahaha may as well could be now that i look at it. But it was supposed to be an "arachna" kinda girl, maybe she still needs some work
- Sep 1, 2017
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- 1,912
Maybe you should have worded your overview a bit better to get the point across.
" Humans and Orcs have been at war for years now and since you just turned 18 it's time to go explore the world, make allies or enemies and finish this war once and for all. "
The way it's worded makes it sound like some average schmuck potato farmer decided to raise his own army because the other wasn't cutting it.
If you had worded it something like:
"Humans and Orcs have been at war for years now, and as a young prince, it's time to go explore the world, make allies or enemies and finish this war once and for all. "
The function of an overview is to draw people into your game, not make it sound so far fetched that they skip it.
will there be a bestiality with natural animals? Not with goblins, orcs, ogres and the rest of the evil or insects that do not belong to the group of animals.
- Apr 13, 2018
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J.A.A.G. Studio with futa on male not being added does that mean no futa/trans or will there be male on futa (were the male is the dominate one fucking the futa)?
- Aug 10, 2020
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- May 7, 2022
- 13
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That my friend, is exactly what i was supposed to write. Epilogue
Ok going in parts. about this one.
About taking time to release. I don't think so, i have been coding and making the game for some time now and i know it's not done and need more work but just my view isn't what i needed to make things better i think. Wanted to release now to see if people like the game concept, what i should change and everything.
About the art, i don't think you ever used HS because if you did you wouldn't say that is easily improved. I know it's not the best and of course i plan to improve as much as i can along the way but maybe that just isn't your game if you didn't like it because i can see myself improving light and background (which don't have a lot in medieval so most of them i have to improvise) but you didn't even like the characters and that is a part i disagree about needing change. Add more yes but i think their appearance are alright
About Duzz being hideous well... that's the point. I wanted to show that in my world you will find beatiful monster girls but also exotic and ugly creatures (if you look her lore you will see that it's not even possible to have a relationship with her. It's more a found the character once and see once more or never again in the game)
Cartoonish Evil choices are more for flavour than everything. I always liked when i played kotor and i had the chance to rob someone just to be evil or because i can. Of course i will give you difficult and moral grey choices aswell like what to do with a piece of land for example, give to poor and starving farmers and help them or give to a rich Lord that will give you resources to win the war. So yes cartoonish evil/good choices will still be present but it will also have well tought choices aswell. But i like the idea of subtly submiting them to your will so i will make more choices like that
Well
if it is strange what i can do is take off the morality points of this choice, change some lines so that you can give her a new name. So you can call her whathever you want. Be it Slave, Urifina or something else.The grammar will be fixed this one doesn't have much to talk about aside from that
Thanks i dislike when i'm roleplaying a game and my evil characters does controversial deeds. So i plan to make your character talk and act always as you choose him to be
Yes Orc and Human MC will pose a challenge not gonna lie, but i want both of them to be able to show that every war has two sides. You can have a gameplay with the human and kill everyone for example. But then you play again with the Orc and learn that the people you killed had family, loved ones, where nice, and when you encounter the characters you already know from the humans as an orc what will you do?
Thanks for your input. Will take in consideration some things, others will see how it goes but it was nice you took time to play the game and comment to help. I would recommend you wait some more updates then come back and see what it became and if it's a good game or maybe just this isn't one you will like
Then that's your game. Both of these things are coming
- May 7, 2022
- 13
- 77
game ported to android apk? Yes
Android heroine? no
I hadn't put the prince part on the overview because the Orc one will be different so i thought people will play and know why he can do it even so young but if people may no play because of this i will change it to something more clear
My plans are:
1.Sex with humans (Relationships)
2.Sex with monster girls (Relationships)
3. Sex with strange creatures (Once and then goodbye)--> In this one you will find creatures like Duzz, monster that are completely monster (no human resemblance) and since you said maybe with natural animals? i don't have a problem including them just know that you will not get a relationship with them and it won't be the focus of the game but i can add it no problem it will be optional anyway
Just means that the MC won't be on the receiving end. But i plan to add some traps/futa for the MC (especially on the elven lands
)Will change the tags to not cause more confusion but with cheating i meant : You fuck a girl in a relationship (Will have), while with NTR i meant someone mess with one of your girls (Won't have)
- Jun 14, 2020
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Just curious, do we wait 1-2 updates from now on just to see the missing sex scenes from previous updates?. other than that annoying part, this game is very unique and has alot of potential.
As far as the art is concerned I honestly thing all humanoid characters look good or good enough. I wouldn't change a thing about them.
As for a certain green monster girl one encounters I honestly think she is a success as well. Just looking at her instantly explains why people hate monsters and kill them on sight and does so in an immersive way rather than through exposition. You just look at her and understand why some things require killing with fire. So whilst having sex with her is obviously repulsive she does the job she is intended to narratively.
As for a certain green monster girl one encounters I honestly think she is a success as well. Just looking at her instantly explains why people hate monsters and kill them on sight and does so in an immersive way rather than through exposition. You just look at her and understand why some things require killing with fire. So whilst having sex with her is obviously repulsive she does the job she is intended to narratively.
Wow very interesting concept with the orcs and human idea though its gonna be hard to make both paths. Definitely looking to see where this is going. But have to agree the art needs some work compared to other honey select games on here.
- Mar 28, 2019
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~>Ah finally some fresh meat not the same typical MC who has good personality finally freedom choose to b evil or kind.
~>graphics violence and gore my kind of taste.
~Hmm does romance 1 route or harem style ?
~>I just hope we can f*ck any race we want.
~>It lacks add-on tag necro but who knows maybe some enjoy it.
~>Choosing between two race or making us choose different races as MC it seems like hassle also time consuming if it has different story background
~>The intro/prologue was kinda short for 1st release it was blue blue ball nice teasing dev XD
~>graphics violence and gore my kind of taste.
~Hmm does romance 1 route or harem style ?
~>I just hope we can f*ck any race we want.
~>It lacks add-on tag necro but who knows maybe some enjoy it.
~>Choosing between two race or making us choose different races as MC it seems like hassle also time consuming if it has different story background
~>The intro/prologue was kinda short for 1st release it was blue blue ball nice teasing dev XD
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- Sep 22, 2017
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Will Duzz be the only shortstack or are there more that might even be available for relationship? Or better yet, a minigirl?
So potentially the first game on this site to feature bestiality with female animals? Nice!and since you said maybe with natural animals? i don't have a problem including them just know that you will not get a relationship with them and it won't be the focus of the game but i can add it no problem it will be optional anyway
For me, any pairing between someone with a penis and someone else with a penis is effectively identical to gay. Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Just means that the MC won't be on the receiving end. But i plan to add some traps/futa for the MC (especially on the elven lands
