I've been thinking about this for last few days, reading the thread several times. I'm going to explain my view below, but in shortest way it's: it depends.
We have discussed various topics here, like sexual language, female genitalia, kinds of gameplay that turns us on and off and I had an honest introspection about it until late night hours. And what I came to is exactly that, it depends. Let me explain.
Lets start with the genitalia and sexual language. I've actually asked my friends, both male and female about that. Imagine the surprise. You are somewhere doing whatever you feel or have to do and suddently your bestie asks: Hey, what do you call your pussy? Normally and during sex? There was a sound of jaws hitting the floor on the other side. Answers were varying although not very much. After all we usually keep to the company of people that are alike us. So Yes, I know a girl that will call her pussy vagina and I know a girl that like to be called a slut, but most of my friends don't. And here comes a kicker. The last question was: how about English? Because, you see, me and my besties, we live in an East European country. We were born 40-something years ago, we learn't Russian in primary schools and learnt English from radio and Internet. And here answers were more unified. We all agreed on pussy, because, I believe, this is what it's mostly called in the kind of English movies we watch or texts we read. So our sexual language is restricted to what gets into clutrure and not what gets into bedrooms. And we all know it's not always the same. In the translation some nuances are lost. The word for pussy in my language would be softened by making it a little pussy. Except here it's still one, short word you can moan to your partner, where I really can't imagine moaning my little pussy in the heat of the moment. But again it probably depends. My country is very Catholic, at least oficially. It changes rapidly last 15 years, but when I was young the sex wasn't talked about, at least not loud. Contraceptives were frowned upon and the choice was very small. It doesn't mean we girls didn't try things, but we were more secretive and shy about it. When I grew into my twenties for a girl to act open and selfconcious sexually was a political and cultural statement of incredible strenght. It wasn't a lifestyle, it wasn't a prefference, it was The Credo, the defining point. On the other hand the sex, so wilfully regulated by church, was a point of social schizophrenia. On the sunday mass we would listen to priests talking about sin of contraceptives and sexual fantasies and then we would go home and use condoms and secretly lust about our neighbour.
Here we are, defined by our cultural upbringing. We would be pretty open to expereinces and at the same time self-conscious and restricted about expressing ourselves. The most hardcore porn that was available to me in my teens was my friends monthly magazine with naked women and, sadly, no men. I didn't know then if I really liked porn. I was 19 when Internet showed up in prices that would allow myself to get one and discover online world of erotica and find something for myself.
I am sorry for the long history background, but I hope it illustrates the point. My sexuality is defined by the early years of Catholic church influence and then strongly defining experience of breaking out from it. It was so meaningful, that you could say my sexual self is divided into pre and post eras. I play erogames, especially "corruption" to feel empowered, to fantasize about what I would be able to do if I wasn't so self-aware. Would it turn me on? To some degree I envy Suzie from New Paths, she found a path to discover herself. And this is the kind of games I like. The games that put me, the player, in charge. The games that don't make the character into empty shell that's being pushed around by the plot.
To top it all I am a nerd and a geek. I work as IT support, which makes me pretty Asperger in human relationships. So I also play games to fulfill my need to be someone else, someone stronger. That's why I like that sniper rifle wielding gal in Wildlands.
My friend left my country when we were 12 and migrated with her parents to Germany. They quicly left any pretense of being christians. I was in more or less constant pen-pal relationship with her until my 17 birthday, when I scraped enough cash to buy myself ticket and visit her for a week. She grew up fully aware of her body, sex and preventing unwanted pregnancies. She's been with her parents to nudist beach. The confidence she had is still there, after all those years, because she wasn't brought up in a view that her body is source of sin and women brought fall upon all mankind.
To her sex is a joyful experience. To me it's a statement and act of setting myself free from influence that is no longer there, except in my head.
Her sexual language is much more rich and joyful than mine. She's more open to new ideas than me, which doesn't mean she's going to go for all of them. To me some of things I did was acting in spite of someone, sometimes even myself. She has got more sexual experience that I'll ever have. She's more open that I'll ever be. She has more fun out of it that I'll ever do. She's not into erogames at all. She digs books and movies, porn too.
Recently I met a girl that I befriended strongly. She has similar story to mine. But when she was a kid, she was sexually abused, coerced into groping and oral sex. She wasn't forced into anything, but an adult with agenda can be really convincing and patient. She's very wild today and very conflicted. She enjoys her very open sexual nature, but at the same time she feels dirty and after few beers tells me she's not sure which part of her is her and which part of her is the abuse. She goes between not doing porn and erotica at all for few months to watching very hardcore stuff and playing all games day and night. It looks like an addiction. She's also maniacally monogamic. Her secula language is very strong, hardcore and often derogative.
So here comes the point. Just as you, men, differ and have different execations, so do we. Especially where the community is worldwide spread and brings together people of various ages. Even between you boys some dig the MC being turned into a sexual object against her will, and some dislike it. I guess, you need to define your target audience then. Explain to yourself the genre you feel best with, the plot devices you are confident make your story compelling. And keep doing it.
That's all, Kirk^w Elena out.
