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RPGM Ren'Py Laura: Lustful Secrets [Ch.2 v0.3 P2] [Dark Anu]

3.90 star(s) 58 Votes
Discussion Reviews (58)
1Teddy1

1Teddy1

Well-Known Member
May 17, 2018
1,316
2,218
Since it's RPGM I have to ask is there any running around a crappy map that makes playing a RPGM games a boring and tedious experience?
Edit: Just tried it and there is so it's not worth the download even if the content is/gets good.
 
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gabich69

gabich69

Active Member
Dec 23, 2019
670
769
what is the rate of publication if I am not too indiscreet Anu Games ? 1 release every 2 months?
And btw i liked your game, RPG is not a problem for me as many NTR games are in RPG system we are used to it..
(y) (y) (y)
 
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circuitarity

circuitarity

Active Member
Jul 3, 2019
674
612
cleanfeel said:
I played a few minutes. Here's my thoughts.

Pros:
1. Isometric graphics of the map is refreshing
2. Amount of locations on map shows ability to create a believable world (at least physically)

Cons:
1. Writing is poor - (more later)
2. Proportions of women is off - Kim Kardashian's ass is not a good indicator of a good hot body. Go look at the Olympics athletes in Tokyo if you want to see what perfect female asses should look like. Kim's ass is all fat and plastic surgery, which is gross. It's not natural. Go to reddit /r/gonewild if you still can't figure out. There's no excuse for not knowing what a shapely ass should look like)

Writing is the core of any narrative driven game experiences, such as the ones here in h-games. There's a lot of issues with the writing in this game, I will list them in order of pressing matter.

1. Lack of characterization for wife, daughter, and husband - Who are they? What does wife do? What does daughter do? Where are they living? What kind of neighborhood is it? What does wife want in her life? Is she a homemaker (unemployed leecher)? Is daughter a student? Does she have a job? Does she have a boyfriend? What is wife scared of? What makes her happy? etc. etc. Learn how to do it:
You must be registered to see the links
. Google "How to write a good character"
2. Lack of real meaningful dialog between characters - Biggest examples being the conversation that the MC had with his wife when he told her "Hey babe, without asking you, I am going to have some stranger live in our house". You need more life experiences or watch more TV if you think the way you portrayed that conversation is how real people talk. It's completely bogus
3. Too many side characters - I don't give a shit about the neighbor when you can't even get the 4 characters you have correct: MC, wife, daughter, and Marketing Consultant. Too many characters don't make your game better, well developed characters do.

Overall the writing in this game is just poor. It sounds like someone with no life experiences trying to emulate real life. The first thing that jumped out to me was when the Boss chewing MC out in the office. It's 100% not believable and not how real corporate BS meetings go down (at least here in America where I work).
Click to expand...
I have not test played this but had to comment.
As a real adult with real life experience:
A) Everyone has a preference, yours are young athletic women who would kick your ass before you finished the "you have a gorgeous ass!". Most men on average prefer a medium build and some even prefer a bigger build. If your preferences tend to Asian gymnasts then you should search for Loli content instead of asking a random developer to change his whole game for you "Yes I don't like Real MILFs so can you just make this the Japanese Olympic team and maybe write a better story before you release a sample demo next time so I can complain about something else I don't like?".
B) Constructive criticism = Your characters are not realistic please refer to X cited resource for a better reference on how to write better a character (as you did)
Non-Constructive Criticism = Comparing your own personal experiences in life with the written content on a first release. Side characters are there for a purpose whether it is revealed in the first few minutes of gameplay or not, there are nightmare Bosses everywhere with unrealistic expectations (again I have not read this part of the game but...) such as "you've been with the company for 20 years last Tuesday and are a 70 year old with hearing problems, get hearing aids in 2 weeks or you're fired!" (real event in the last 2 weeks in Canada the polite country where this is actually illegal). BTW most of the laws, interactions and relations in corporate America are comparable to the same job environment in Canada except we have higher minimum wages so don't say "But I said America".
C) I can't stress this enough, telling a game maker that his/her first release needs better writing without telling them where to get a better grasp on conversational writing is NOT constructive.
D) As a person who has played the game you should be aware of the MC being a female protagonist instead of referring to him (unless this has the wrong tag in which case you should have included the suggestion to change it).
 
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circuitarity

circuitarity

Active Member
Jul 3, 2019
674
612
I have added a second comment directly at the Dev so they don't get the wall of text from my last post followed by my comment directed at them.
Anu Games said:
I'm very happy for this comment about my game it's really valuable for me because you will help me to improve my skills a lot. I saved your comment because your constructive criticism gives specific recommendations on how to make positive improvements. In the next update I'm waiting for your new feedback.

Thank you cleanfeel (y)
Click to expand...
Please don't take the complaint about real women being skinny as rails as realistic. America has a very large number of obese people who have just as much happiness in relationships as skinny people.
If you are looking to learn better writing skills try an internet search for "the write practice" (google search or not as you prefer), I found in signing up for it (free) they will send a wall of mails but if you take an hour a day working through it your writing should start to improve fairly shortly.
I am not a fan of NTR so as a helpful suggestion I will ask for you to consider making an NTR-lite route for your game (lesbian and M F F is better than just NTR with any random guy).
Thank you for making it clear that NTR is there so we can avoid all the "is there NTR?" questions.
I hope you keep up the story as I can't wait to try it sometime after the third update when there's a little more content.
Don't forget to send a PM to one of the system admins requesting "Game Dev" status and include a link to your game (right click the address bar and select copy).
I have decided I have to try your game as it really does look promising so I am downloading now.
 
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king_meow

king_meow

New Member
Dec 12, 2017
8
6
The Mac version isn't working for me. It says I don't have permission to open the game. Is that a problem on my end?
 
Dark Anu

Dark Anu

Member
Game Developer
Jul 8, 2017
455
2,458
king_meow said:
The Mac version isn't working for me. It says I don't have permission to open the game. Is that a problem on my end?
Click to expand...
Maybe you're using Big sur, Rpgmaker MV was designed to create distributions only for the Mac OS at the time.
I'm sorry king_meow I'll fix this in the new update.
 
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3.90 star(s) 58 Votes