What really annoys me is that always when he wants to say "now" he writes "know" ...
The story is really boring - way to much explanation and written thoughts and barely any real dialogs and all characters are bland and flat (except the physical ^^). And that you can solve everything by just bossing around the girls ... yeah. *yawn*
The renders are mostly quite solid, but you see the difference when a model gets character. Its not enough to just use the DMD model... it lacks everything of the DMD girl. The animations are sometimes horrible - at least that pole dancing animation. Better don't add it when it doesn't look good enough. Some are ok.
I think the animations look really weird compared to the actual renders, but I do appreciate the dev for trying and I can appreciate what he's trying to do there.
I also agree that the dev really could use a proofreader, like you said yourself, that "know" instead of "now" mistake repeats constantly, and "sweat" instead of "sweet" and so on, they repeat a lot and I think the text generally could be improved a bit. If I hadn't preoccupied myself with a different project already, I may have offered my help here.
Overall I like the renders, think my favorite models here is the chick who's trying to make you submissive. I also like the DMD daughter lookalike, just the more adult and luscious version, although she's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, I actually had many laughs whenever she spoke, haha, I just couldn't believe that someone could be that dim xD