Moshiko.atrftb
Newbie
- Jan 9, 2023
- 77
- 166
Hey, I'm usually a lurker, but I saw there was a big discussion here about sexuality changes after transition and the like, so I thought I would offer some field research and my own personal experience.
Friends and many other trans women I asked say that for them it's not really that their sexuality changed. It's more so that they finally allowed themself to experience heavily repressed attractions that were buried deep under a lot of internalized homophobia/transphobia.
I think that in my own experience, my sexuality hasn't really changed either. I used to define myslef as a bisexual and now, for the most part, I tell people I'm a lesbian. Though I still find some men attractive, I think that the power dynamic between a man and a woman (especially a trans one) in a straight relationship is somewhat offputting to me.
It is also important to note that attraction is not only about what gender you want to sleep with but also how you want to be treated in a potential relationship. For example, I didn't date any women before my transition. I would always lose interest once they would show interest in me. I think it was because the moment I let myself imagine what that relationship could look like, the thought of being 'the man' in the relationship always left me with a feeling of dysphoria.
So yeah... to summarize, sexual and romantic attractions are complicated, deeply individual, and fluid things, and with the mental task that is accepting who you truly are, they are pretty liable to change/unveil even if just a little.
Friends and many other trans women I asked say that for them it's not really that their sexuality changed. It's more so that they finally allowed themself to experience heavily repressed attractions that were buried deep under a lot of internalized homophobia/transphobia.
I think that in my own experience, my sexuality hasn't really changed either. I used to define myslef as a bisexual and now, for the most part, I tell people I'm a lesbian. Though I still find some men attractive, I think that the power dynamic between a man and a woman (especially a trans one) in a straight relationship is somewhat offputting to me.
It is also important to note that attraction is not only about what gender you want to sleep with but also how you want to be treated in a potential relationship. For example, I didn't date any women before my transition. I would always lose interest once they would show interest in me. I think it was because the moment I let myself imagine what that relationship could look like, the thought of being 'the man' in the relationship always left me with a feeling of dysphoria.
So yeah... to summarize, sexual and romantic attractions are complicated, deeply individual, and fluid things, and with the mental task that is accepting who you truly are, they are pretty liable to change/unveil even if just a little.