That's why I spoilered my reply, it's a big help in keeping the thread impact to a minimum. Yes, it is the player's choice to grind unevenly and every choice has consequences, good or bad depends on the choice made. In this case, the consequence is either to get stuck by not having enough on a required girl or being catapulted through potentially several missable events and scenarios like Rin's. They are not meaningless choices because their meaning is held within the correct side of that choice. Their meaning is to give that content you miss by grinding too much when you don't grind too much and to punish the players who do grind too much by taking that content away. There is plenty of information given through what happens depending on the player in Rin's scenario. Once you hit that point, you have been warned indirectly that too much grinding is bad because, in order to get the bad result of Rin's scenario, you have to grind too much to get the good one. There is no other way to get the bad result than to bring the stats up to the point where the trigger event occurs. Giving answers defeats the purpose of the content being in game format, Selebus might as well be writing a kinetic novel in that case. That, once again, eliminates the threat of consequences, which is a theme of the game, which would be a big no no. It isn't horrible design, it would be if it was a game following the usual "fuck anything that moves and don't worry about any drawbacks to your actions" type of games that usually show up here, but it's not, it follows real world cause and effect, every choice has some sort of consequence, again either good or bad depending on the choice made, and that is what we see in the game. If you betray Rin and go after Chika, Rin gets hurt by your actions, which you chose to take. That does not render the choice meaningless, it would if and only if, no matter your choice, Rin got hurt by you. The thing you keep calling bad design actually boils down to three words, choices actually matter, which is something a lot of games here that promise to rarely ever deliver. That doesn't just apply to actual conversation choices, it applies to ALL choices regarding the game, including ones made outside of it by the player with only one exception, the choice of to play or not to play, that is the only choice that does not have an in game impact.I'm not going to respond point by point, it will waste too much time, lead to an even bigger wall of text, and i feel like you shouldn't have wasted your time doing it either. I understand your view, so I'll just try to tackle what i believe to be your main focus.
Is it the player's choice to miss scenes/grind unevenly? Yes, technically speaking it definitely is, but i thought i had made it clear why i called it a non-choice or a meaningless choice.
Is it a consequence to miss the event(s) if you make that choice? Yes, technically speaking it is, it happened because of a choice you made therefore it is a consequence of your choices.
My point that i feel wasn't properly addressed was in the last paragraph. A choice, and the consequences of making that choice are meaningless, and I would even personally call them non-existent (even if they technically aren't) if the player isn't given enough information to understand that the choice they are making will have negative consequences.
Imagine if the game had at one point a choice, between 3 different car brands to pick your favorite. If picking a specific one led to getting locked out of Haru's events later down the line, was that a choice?
Yes. Did it have consequences?
Yes, but even in this game that as you say has a focus on consequences that is just horrible design. Just because it is a choice given to the player and it has consequences it doesn't mean that the whole choice/consequences combo isn't meaningless. The proper way to do it if you had to would be to add a hint, or worst case scenario just plainly tell the player at some point the correct answer. It would ruin the tone of the game but at least it would be a meaningful choice.
The same way as in the example, if the player chooses to grind a character because they like them most there will perhaps be consequences for it. But did the player know that they were making a choice with "severe" consequences? Did they know that it isn't what the game wants them to choose? Again, I'm not speaking about Rin's, or Haru's, or Karin's choices, I'm speaking of any events that you get locked out of without any hints given that they will be locked.