how do i set it so no men spawn and i dont make sons
also how do i order custom slaves?
Content Options -> Gender preferences and set "Male" (and any other undesired genders) to "Off". Offspring genders are controlled by the same table as random NPC spawns, so you can't have, say, only daughters AND still have men NPCs spawn in the world.
Custom slaves can be purchased by completing Helena's personal quest to unlock her romance (you don't have to romance her). This menu doesn't give you the full range of options available, mainly locking off the more exotic races from purchase, but you do get most of the common ones on top of being able to mould their name, personality, fetishes, etc. as you see fit.
Alternatively, you can use the Auctioning Block in combination with either the "Export Character" button with an inspected NPC, or through Options -> Export Character to export your current player character to a file, which you can then import and do a little minigame to buy. You can get access to basically anything you can find in the game world (or will into existence via debug menu shenanigans), but note that some races will be very expensive to buy this way, such as dragons and demons.
