VN Ren'Py Little Regina [v2.22f] [EchoFoxtrot]

[FloridaNed]

Don't forget the gamers and mil-fi, sci-fi, and sometimes just plain-old-regular readers who will notice such a discrepancy solely due to their familiarity with the subject, without actual experience.

Plus the dude got a Medal of Honor. Like, fucking come-on! How is this dude still a Cpl.? I mean, he would have to have majorly fucked up, and then squeaked by with sympathetic command/political connections plus the prestige from a MoH.

The bit about the Marines was funny though.

 

[Old Man Al]

A story well told.

Some little spelling mistakes, lots of them in fact, but nothing so lose sleep about.
The beginning (the military stuff) is a bit bland, but it gets better.
The first (or second?) choice though is a bit over the top

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

That Loki/cat vision got me confused for a second, but I like the idea.

That being said: I am german, and I was not in the military at all. So I don't give two flying fucks (or know) about the ranking system. For me there is a story to tell, and that detail is rather unimportant. So no downgrade on this front (haha) from my side.

Ah yes, no sex in there. And the models are ones of the more often used. I think I saw all of them elsewhere before.

I will keep an eye on this. It is on the more unsual side of the stuff here, so it keeps me interested. You did good EchoFoxtrot for a first release.

 

[Cheka]

Less than 1 percent of the US population is in active-duty, so about 1.4 million. That becomes even smaller when you start splitting them up between army, navy, etc. and then even further when you question how many of them care about the accuracy in an AVN. You and John Doe may kn

Dear game developer, I'm sorry, but I have to voice my objection. I pay a lot of attention to realism in books and especially in role-playing games!

And a good author researches things before he dares to tell his story! You will also scare away other players if you don't research the things you write.

 

[EchoFoxtrot]

Plus 1.1 million reservists, another half a million in the National Guard, and another 17.4 million veterans. (We don't just forget everything once we've been discharged, unfortunately.) Then there are family members of active duty and veterans who are familiar with how rank works, because you tend to learn that kind of thing when your spouse is in the military.

So your numbers there are way undershooting the amount of people who will notice discrepancies like this (and the others I mentioned in my edit).

Regardless, no one should write about something they are entirely unfamiliar with. Research is absolutely necessary for those of us who want to write about things with which we don't have firsthand experience. It's fine if you make minor changes to how something works in reality for the sake of the narrative, but there are limits to that once you've pushed far beyond the realm of what's believable. And at the very least, the characters involved should sound like the kind of people you're writing them to be. Jargon is important, and lends authenticity.

I'm not trying to shit on this developer's story. He might have a very good one here. But it's very hard to continue past the mistakes being made, both factual and grammatical. (The latter being another serious issue here. Dev clearly made no effort to ensure their grammar, spelling, and punctuation were at least consistent if not correct.)

I am currently doing a much needed spell and grammar check, jumped a bit too fast on that one. I'll find that sir and get rid of it.
I was not in the US military. I have not lived where LR supposedly is, nor have I lived in US society.
I'm sure that will shine through too. I have spent countless hours researching have no doubt about that, but there is no knowing if I asked the right question.
My own service was 20 odd years ago, so it's been a bit. Even had I used my own military I could probably have been wrong or dated. A lot has happened in 20 years.
I'm sorry to be too far off the mark for you to enjoy it.
All I can say is that if you got to the last scene then you will know that Christa doesn't buy Jack's story either. So maybe that part will be more believable when more is revealed later on. Then again maybe I will make it worse who knows

End of the day this vn is a hobby, I don't have an editor it's just lil ole me. I had fun doing it if somebody enjoy it then that's good, if it's too far fetched for others then that's a shame.

 

[MissFortune]

Plus 1.1 million reservists, another half a million in the National Guard, and another 17.4 million veterans. (We don't just forget everything once we've been discharged, unfortunately.) Then there are family members of active duty and veterans who are familiar with how rank works, because you tend to learn that kind of thing when your spouse is in the military.

So your numbers there are way undershooting the amount of people who will notice discrepancies like this (and the others I mentioned in my edit).

Fair enough, I should've dug a little deeper in that regard. But it still doesn't change my overarching point at all. The people knowledgeable in this type of stuff are still an overwhelming minority. So, including the family members/spouses (approx. 3.5/4 million), you can round it to somewhere around 24 million. So, what, 8-ish percent?

In the scope of adult visual novels/porn, you could realistically cut it in half and that would still probably be generous. There's five million members here (and seeing as you have to sign up for an account to download, it's at least somewhat accurate.). We don't have access to the site's stats, as far as I'm aware, but in 2016 someone showed a chart showing the surge in the sites popularity, with China dominating at 50% and Czech coming in 9.5%, with Europe at 8.9%. While the China could be VPNs, we have nothing to show otherwise. Even ignoring all of those, we can realistically assume that half of those 24 million are either too young, heavily religious, don't know these games exist, too busy, or just outright don't care about them/have a woman to fuck. Even some mix of all of them. So, I'll be generous and cut off 3 percent of that 8. What is five percent of 24 million? 1.2 million. Realistically, it's probably much lower. 600,000-800,000-ish. That's not even including the sites stats or member count.

Granted, there's all kind of variances here. So, the numbers are probably pretty far off, but just going off the numbers we have.

Regardless, no one should write about something they are entirely unfamiliar with. Research is absolutely necessary for those of us who want to write about things with which we don't have firsthand experience. It's fine if you make minor changes to how something works in reality for the sake of the narrative, but there are limits to that once you've pushed far beyond the realm of what's believable. And at the very least, the characters involved should sound like the kind of people you're writing them to be. Jargon is important, and lends authenticity.

I don't disagree with you really, at all, even. And I do agree that jargon/terminology are important, but that authenticity only sticks out to those who know it. Which, back to my main point, is largely going over many people's heads in a case like this. Even using this game thread as an example, 61 posts (I think), 3 or 4 people calling it out. If you include that foreign audience and those who are simply ignorant of the terminology, most people simply aren't going to care. Again, except for the minority who are aware and care enough to point it out. Take a gander through this thread and see for yourself.

Music theory and even writing, as I pointed out earlier, is something I would think is similar in its nicheness to the common person. Sure, maybe I could appease the few musicians play my VN by going into tonal systems, intervals, durational proportions and dissonance, but who actually cares about it? My point is, he's not dogging on the military or veterans, so who cares if he got some titles and timelines wrong? How many, beyond the said groups who already know, are really going to go out and fact check what is, so far, a small part of the story? Like I said, I agree with you, specifically on storylines that revolve around a said industry/field/etc., I just feel that something like this is far too niche to shit on a product about (especially seeing how much Hollywood itself praises movies/series that almost always wrong/inaccurate.). The grammar I agree with, though.

Just to be clear, I mean no disrespect toward those in the military or veterans if I came across that way. This is just purely in reference to VNs and nothing more.

But, the moment an actual military veteran calls out for realism in a game, he's called out over it. What kind of bullshit is that? Fucking stupid.

I didn't call anyone out. All I was saying was there's a difference between realism and niche knowledge that most aren't going to know or care to understand. Realism, to most, is nearly always going to be about realistic characters, believable settings, occurrences, dialects, ebonics, etc. Not if someone's an E-9 or how long it took them to get there, just as nobody's going to care if I write about hammer-ons, double stops, and vibrato or how to cohesively mix them all together. That's all I meant by it, take it however you want.

 

[J.R.]

I find the discussion about this VN developer must have to do a complete military research or better be an soldier/veteran for doing this VN a bit odd. Yes, I can understand that the ones here who are involved in that maybe find issues in the dialog - but come on! It's still a porn game! It don't have to be hyper realistic, it's still fiction.

Also I do hope not every dev has also experiences from his story also in real life - otherwise I really hope to never meet the one from raptus....

 

[DeUglyOne]

The bit about the Marines was funny though.

I must have missed/skipped past that/didn't get that far. (not enough crayons in my diet lately)

I stopped right after the robbery. It made no sense to me that he would stand by and let the clerk get shot when the crook had his back turned on the MC, but when he's pointing the gun at him then the MC makes his move and takes him down. If he's capable of that he should have stopped the clerk from being killed.

 

[EchoFoxtrot]

I must have missed/skipped past that/didn't get that far. (not enough crayons in my diet lately)

I stopped right after the robbery. It made no sense to me that he would stand by and let the clerk get shot when the crook had his back turned on the MC, but when he's pointing the gun at him then the MC makes his move and takes him down. If he's capable of that he should have stopped the clerk from being killed.

I can't disagree with that assessment

Why go back to kill the pimp? why the option to murder poor Cookie?

can you recommend a color?

 

[altmas66]

My pc gone to a better life. Is there a chance to get an android version?

 

[Futaglit]

As a driver of Citroen, I suppose I should post a bad review of the game ?

 

[EchoFoxtrot]

My pc gone to a better life. Is there a chance to get an android version?

Yeah I'm just fixing my terrible grammar and spelling then I'll get mac and android version made

 

[KoGa3]

Yeah I'm just fixing my terrible grammar and spelling then I'll get mac and android version made

Info: maybe you can adapt the text colors a bit, especially the Yes / No with black text on black background, well...
(there was already someone posting the game is broken because of that)
As a quick solution for myself I changed the screens.rpy:

 

[EchoFoxtrot]

A story well told.

Some little spelling mistakes, lots of them in fact, but nothing so lose sleep about.
The beginning (the military stuff) is a bit bland, but it gets better.
The first (or second?) choice though is a bit over the top

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

That Loki/cat vision got me confused for a second, but I like the idea.

That being said: I am german, and I was not in the military at all. So I don't give two flying fucks (or know) about the ranking system. For me there is a story to tell, and that detail is rather unimportant. So no downgrade on this front (haha) from my side.

Ah yes, no sex in there. And the models are ones of the more often used. I think I saw all of them elsewhere before.

I will keep an eye on this. It is on the more unsual side of the stuff here, so it keeps me interested. You did good EchoFoxtrot for a first release.

A lot of bad spelling sorry about that
In one draft Loki was sentient cat vision is what that turned into

Info: maybe you can adapt the text colors a bit, especially the Yes / No with black text on black background, well...
(there was already someone posting the game is broken because of that)
As a quick solution for myself I changed the screens.rpy:
View attachment 1958815

Thanks
I did see that aaand forgot to change it

 

[ecopeon]

The story was a bit cringe but got to give the renders a +1.
Full disclosure I'm a BAD Faye fanboy so I was always going to watch this one.

 

[Ser Lordypants]

Ahh yes, use a loli to distract everyone from the bad renders and bad writing.

It's so crazy it just might work!

 

[Kitchentable]

Uberstormbanncolonelcorporalwachtmeister and all that after only 3,333333
weird imperial time units in basic academy training.
Would you look at that.


Cute redhead? Check. Cute cat? Check. Decent render quality? Check.
Cool and unseen idea with the Loki view? Check. A grown man main protagonist?
Check. Some other good stuff? Check.

Spelling...well EchoFoxtrot is aware and working on it.

What really pisses me off though is calling football soccer.
Heresy! Illiterate savages!! Ignorant philistines!!!

The military intro looked like straight out of ARMA 2.
I think it actually is. Nice idea and well done.

Overall a good start and intruiging for me so I will
keep an eye out for future updates.

 

[misterbaobab]

This "deputy sheriff Christa" with her tattooed hand reminded me of Sarah from Days Gone

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[DeUglyOne]

I can't disagree with that assessment

Why go back to kill the pimp? why the option to murder poor Cookie?

can you recommend a color?

You wrote it and you're asking me? That made no sense either.
Why would he go back to keep her from being beaten then kill her? Which I didn't, BTW.
Why would an FBI agent be assigned to a local homicide case?
How would they know all the particulars (injuries, knuckles, suppressor) by the next morning, probably before the coroner would have been able to examine the body?

The way he just stood by and let the clerk be killed, I fully expected him to shit himself as he dropped to his knees and begged for mercy. The way you've written the MC I just can't figure out his personality in any way, shape or form.

To tell the truth, this is the first time I've ever skipped dialogues in a game. It's just that bad to me.

I do wish you luck, but it's just not for me.

Oh... purple. Definitely purple.

 

[paust.alex]

The way you've written the MC I just can't figure out his personality in any way, shape or form.

Maybe that was intended, maybe he is a schizophrenic psychopath with a personality disorder or suffered psychological trauma during his time in the army? Or as a child, maybe his uncle asked him to hide his dick in his ass so the evil Russian KGB agents wouldn't steal it.
And now he, a tough veteran, a super agent who knows many martial arts, can freeze in fear and tremble or accidentally kill someone.

 

[DeUglyOne]

Maybe that was intended, maybe he is a schizophrenic psychopath with a personality disorder or suffered psychological trauma during his time in the army? Or as a child, maybe his uncle asked him to hide his dick in his ass so the evil Russian KGB agents wouldn't steal it.
And now he, a tough veteran, a super agent who knows many martial arts, can freeze in fear and tremble or accidentally kill someone.

Yeah, that's another one that bugged the shit out of me. He would have had 3 to 4 combat tours in his 12 years in, yet no martial arts training? Not very likely.
I'd worked on an Army Air Field for 13 years (flight sim tech) and we had troops using the field behind our building to train/practice martial arts. Not even ground pounders and they did it.