VN Ren'Py Long Road Home [Ep.16] [OBDGames]

[e6mill]

I got to admit when he showed Reba the finger that was funny right there i knew well these two are on each other now.

Ya gotta watch out, pissing off the DJ. I've seen a stripper dance to I Fucked a Sasquatch by the Seething Fuck Patties before.

 

[Bryan_Colt]

Not in my story and not on my watch i do not like to put anyone on the spot a bit of pun is nice but no one likes or wants to be the

laughing stock i remember a movie with robert de niro godfather at the shrink where jelly threw the doc into the shark tank your dj

would have meet the same fate in my story.


also i am so old when i was young this was one of the best movies i seen rambo and karate kid.

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[FuzzyPredator]

all dialogue is available in the game folder in the form of rpy files, you can open those with a text editor and go ham

Ok, might take me a while, but would anyone be interested in seeing a more professionally proofread and corrected version?? I'm more interested in doing it for everyone, not just for myself

Also wanted to get the Devs opinion on a couple of inconsistencies that I noticed, just to make sure that it will stay without change of context...

I suppose I'll get to work and update you guys once done?

EDIT: I think as a test I'll proofread and correct the latest update and see what everyone thinks!

 

[EfontMan]

would anyone be interested in seeing a more professionally proofread and corrected version?

I've actually thought about doing it myself a few times, but the half-assed way RenPy handles dialogue just makes it too much of a pain in the ass to bother with. Why the hell they never implemented separate standalone dialogue files I'll never know.

 

[FuzzyPredator]

I've actually thought about doing it myself a few times, but the half-assed way RenPy handles dialogue just makes it too much of a pain in the ass to bother with. Why the hell they never implemented separate standalone dialogue files I'll never know.

Yeah, I had a look and looks very... messy...
Shouldn't be a problem per se, just a PITA, but something I'm willing to do for this game as it can only make it better!

 

[e6mill]

I've actually thought about doing it myself a few times, but the half-assed way RenPy handles dialogue just makes it too much of a pain in the ass to bother with. Why the hell they never implemented separate standalone dialogue files I'll never know.

Python 3 (at least) can do i18n. I've not used it myself so I can't speak to the quality, but the support LOOKS to be there. :shrug:

 

[motseer]

Ok, might take me a while, but would anyone be interested in seeing a more professionally proofread and corrected version?? I'm more interested in doing it for everyone, not just for myself

Also wanted to get the Devs opinion on a couple of inconsistencies that I noticed, just to make sure that it will stay without change of context...

I suppose I'll get to work and update you guys once done?

EDIT: I think as a test I'll proofread and correct the latest update and see what everyone thinks!

I think you're all good as long as you run anything you do by Dima. I know he won't mind if you DM him.

 

[JenMistress]

Got caught back up with the Dev on this one. And I will say this.

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Anyways, been enjoying it, thank you so much for this thus far, and looking forward for more!!!

 

[Elduriel]

Ok, might take me a while, but would anyone be interested in seeing a more professionally proofread and corrected version?? I'm more interested in doing it for everyone, not just for myself

Also wanted to get the Devs opinion on a couple of inconsistencies that I noticed, just to make sure that it will stay without change of context...

I suppose I'll get to work and update you guys once done?

EDIT: I think as a test I'll proofread and correct the latest update and see what everyone thinks!

you can edit the files and share with the dev or with the community afterwards and that's that (tho it's probably better if the dev publishes it, can't always trust random files on the internet)

 

[EfontMan]

hopefully I could get

It's pretty much a given that any named female character with more than half a dozen lines is going to get creampied by the MC eventually.

 

[Dimitri57]

Decided to play through the game from the start and enjoying it all over again! Definitely in my top 5 along with Eternum and Artemis. There are however quite a few spelling, phrasing, general missing words and some play on words mistakes (e.g. one that really ground my gears early on was run-a-way...).

If the Dev sees this post I'm an English teacher with quite a few years of experience under my belt and would absolutely LOVE to proofread this game to get it as close to perfection as possible (if it helps I also speak fluent Russian, but Larissa and Oksana segments seem to be done quite well!). I'd be happy to replay the game and take screenshots with corrections, but a script would make it much easier.

I fixed run-a-way in the script already. Thanks for the heads up! You're right, it was poor phrasing

Thank you for your offer. Other have helped out in the past as well. I've always been a voracious reader, but I absolutely hated English and creative writing in school. My grammar and sentence structure reflect that.

I have a built in Russian advisor. My wife of 20 years is Russian. I can go to her for advice, but I learned most of it by emersion while working in one of the former Soviet Republics for five years.

The scripts are in the game, ep1.rpy, ep2.rpy, etc. They can be opened in notepad or wordpad. The text is embedded in the RenPy coding so editing can be tricky. Ren'Py is very particular in spacing and the use of certain symbols. Others have made changes in scripts and sent it back to me not knowing how or what they changed. I won't use them since they would crash the game if the coding was changed inadvertently during editing.

If you want to proofread the script, you can DM with me your corrections in notepad or whatever format that is convenient for you. Just reference which script and what line in the script where the correction needs to be made and I'll change it on my end.

Bear in mind, I use a lot of slang, localisms and colloquialisms. I strive to have the dialog read like people actually speak rather than perfect, grammatically correct English. I follow some games that do, and they come off stiff and robotic to me.

I'll gladly correct typos and errors. I can't promise I'll sanitize dialog that may raise the hackles of an experienced English teacher! (JD's manner of speaking as an example.)

Thank you again for helping me create a better experience for the player.

Adventure on!
Dima

 

[FuzzyPredator]

you can edit the files and share with the dev or with the community afterwards and that's that (tho it's probably better if the dev publishes it, can't always trust random files on the internet)

Will do, working my way through 10.3 first to see what the Dev/you guys think, and will go through others after!

I fixed run-a-way in the script already. Thanks for the heads up! You're right, it was poor phrasing

Thank you for your offer. Other have helped out in the past as well. I've always been a voracious reader, but I absolutely hated English and creative writing in school. My grammar and sentence structure reflect that.

I have a built in Russian advisor. My wife of 20 years is Russian. I can go to her for advice, but I learned most of it by emersion while working in one of the former Soviet Republics for five years.

The scripts are in the game, ep1.rpy, ep2.rpy, etc. They can be opened in notepad or wordpad. The text is embedded in the RenPy coding so editing can be tricky. Ren'Py is very particular in spacing and the use of certain symbols. Others have made changes in scripts and sent it back to me not knowing how or what they changed. I won't use them since they would crash the game if the coding was changed inadvertently during editing.

If you want to proofread the script, you can DM with me your corrections in notepad or whatever format that is convenient for you. Just reference which script and what line in the script where the correction needs to be made and I'll change it on my end.

Bear in mind, I use a lot of slang, localisms and colloquialisms. I strive to have the dialog read like people actually speak rather than perfect, grammatically correct English. I follow some games that do, and they come off stiff and robotic to me.

I'll gladly correct typos and errors. I can't promise I'll sanitize dialog that may raise the hackles of an experienced English teacher! (JD's manner of speaking as an example.)

Thank you again for helping me create a better experience for the player.

Adventure on!
Dima

I'm going through and correcting the script of 10.3 atm and will figure out the best way to get the RPY file to you once I'm done. I'm leaving majority as-is, but correcting missing/misplaced words and some structure to make it "sound" better. Once done I will DM you and see what you think!

EDIT: I have some experience in coding and will NOT touch any spacing or coding AT ALL, I'm only changing the text of the script... If it helps, I'll do a quick playthrough once done to ensure it works fine before handing it to you!

 

[e6mill]

would anyone be interested in seeing a more professionally proofread and corrected version??

To boldly split infinitives.

 

[Dimitri57]

Will do, working my way through 10.3 first to see what the Dev/you guys think, and will go through others after!





I'm going through and correcting the script of 10.3 atm and will figure out the best way to get the RPY file to you once I'm done. I'm leaving majority as-is, but correcting missing/misplaced words and some structure to make it "sound" better. Once done I will DM you and see what you think!

I've ran the later scripts through a grammar/spell check program. I'd like to think there isn't that many things that fell through the cracks!

It's not perfect process though. I have to strip out the RenPy coding, run the program, make note of the errors, then make the corrections in the script.

 

[e6mill]

I've ran the later scripts through a grammar/spell check program. I'd like to think there isn't that many things that fell through the cracks!

 

[FuzzyPredator]

I've ran the later scripts through a grammar/spell check program. I'd like to think there isn't that many things that fell through the cracks!

It's not perfect process though. I have to strip out the RenPy coding, run the program, make note of the errors, then make the corrections in the script.

That also sounds like a PITA process to do. In the future, feel free to forward me the stripped/checked version and I can give it a once over to catch anything that fell through the cracks. That way we can end up with a nigh on perfect script

 

[EfontMan]

I'd like to think there isn't that many things that fell through the cracks!

It's primarily grammatical. Leaving aside the quirks of individual mannerisms and speech styles, there are various issues with non-conversational text for things like scene descriptions and so forth.

 

[HiHaHo]

View attachment 3390227

Is there anybody else getting this error, when MC opens his eyes in the hospital?

if its the moment you wake up in the hospital
i had this one once to but couldn't replicate it again

 

[HiHaHo]

View attachment 3390825

 

[motseer]

I've ran the later scripts through a grammar/spell check program. I'd like to think there isn't that many things that fell through the cracks!

It's not perfect process though. I have to strip out the RenPy coding, run the program, make note of the errors, then make the corrections in the script.

So... Dima, you are a great story teller. You're dialogue flows as naturally as can be. Grammar... Not so much. Case in point, "I'd like to think there isn't aren't that many things that fell through the cracks!" It's not terrible. It's just not publisher perfect. Now... You're being offered free assistance from an English teacher. That translates as "professional sentence builder". It couldn't hurt. Most likely will help. I've been hangin' around this site for a few years now and this is hands down my favorite story. Take every opportunity to make it even better. Jus' Sayin'