Scooter_Tramp

Member
Dec 23, 2022
288
590
Salma Hayek's dance scene has to be one of the sexiest scenes I've ever seen in a non-porn movie.

View attachment 2913786
View attachment 2913802


FYI, I have this asset.



Just waiting for Chapter 2 to use it! Muhahaha!
It will be a hell of a run! :devilish:
Better wait for the sequel for that ;) Mind you vampire games are hot right now... I could see MC, Jessie, Willow, Ash & Angelica kicking ass in a biker/trucker strip joint full of vamps!
"Now let's kill that fucking band..."
 
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Dimitri57

Oldest Dev on F95
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Game Developer
Dec 12, 2017
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Ryker comes storming out of nowhere....
Nooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and almost fanatical devotion to the Pope! Fetch me..... the soft cushions!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
I believe it was the "Comfy chair"... :p
 

PapaPhat

Engaged Member
Mar 31, 2022
3,337
5,619
I believe it was the "Comfy chair"... :p
I was waiting for someone to fall into that trap! Gotcha!!!
The FIRST thing that Michael Palin's Inquisitor demands are..... the soft cushions!
Once he sees that the soft cushions have no affect....
THEN he demands, "Fetch me..... The COMFY CHAIR!"
Man 1: The comfy chair?
Man 2: The comfy chair?
Man 3: The comfy chair?
Man 4: The comfy chair?
All in a huge kerfuffle: The comfy chair? The comfy chair? The comfy chair? The comfy chair?

The comfy chair is the punch line, not the entire joke. First time I saw that... I nearly soiled my armor...
Arthur: Oh do shut up and go and change your armor!
Phat: Yes, my liege!
Hahaha:ROFLMAO:

Thread: Oh look! A squirrel!

Yeah... we all need to wrangle our ADHD a bit...

You started that shit with your post detailing the new Titty Twister asset you picked up for chapter two... Anyway... don't your have chapter one to finish??? I can just picture Jessy on the bed... Ryker stuck at the foot of the bed with his engorged cock throbbing, Jessy's pussy pulsing... wanton desire throbbing between them... until they finally look back up at the screen, breaking the fourth wall and in unison they shout... "Dammit, Dima! This scene won't fucking finish itself!"

Hahaha:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

No worries... we all need a break to breathe and laugh and think about something besides task completion. Enjoy your day, my friend. RFFR...

Adventure ever on, Phat:cool:(y)
Base Profile Screenshot 2022.05.13 - 14.39.48.41.png
 

divingmedic

Engaged Member
Aug 15, 2023
2,445
3,317
I was waiting for someone to fall into that trap! Gotcha!!!
The FIRST thing that Michael Palin's Inquisitor demands are..... the soft cushions!
Once he sees that the soft cushions have no affect....
THEN he demands, "Fetch me..... The COMFY CHAIR!"
Man 1: The comfy chair?
Man 2: The comfy chair?
Man 3: The comfy chair?
Man 4: The comfy chair?
All in a huge kerfuffle: The comfy chair? The comfy chair? The comfy chair? The comfy chair?

The comfy chair is the punch line, not the entire joke. First time I saw that... I nearly soiled my armor...
Arthur: Oh do shut up and go and change your armor!
Phat: Yes, my liege!
Hahaha:ROFLMAO:

Thread: Oh look! A squirrel!

Yeah... we all need to wrangle our ADHD a bit...

You started that shit with your post detailing the new Titty Twister asset you picked up for chapter two... Anyway... don't your have chapter one to finish??? I can just picture Jessy on the bed... Ryker stuck at the foot of the bed with his engorged cock throbbing, Jessy's pussy pulsing... wanton desire throbbing between them... until they finally look back up at the screen, breaking the fourth wall and in unison they shout... "Dammit, Dima! This scene won't fucking finish itself!"

Hahaha:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

No worries... we all need a break to breathe and laugh and think about something besides task completion. Enjoy your day, my friend. RFFR...

Adventure ever on, Phat:cool:(y)
View attachment 2916244
4th wall break would awesome.
 

divingmedic

Engaged Member
Aug 15, 2023
2,445
3,317
Former tank commander (sniper bait, sitting up in the top hatch with a .50) but made retirement, against all odds. Been riding since the 70's. Sat on my first Japanese bike ever in 1987 and the asshole gunned it and left my hurting butt sitting in the middle of the road laughing my ass off, cause my drunken decision to jump on a Honda was never meant to be! So, I've never ridden a jap bike, (cause, Honda, Suzuki, Yamaha, are from the people that gave you pearl harbour... The guys in this thread just don't get it! I could explain it in 7 or 8 posts after they move out of their Mothers/Grandmothers basements...
I could never get in to riding on motorcycles, guess it was from all my years of being a medic and seeing the aftermath of people that lost it on their bikes.
 
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Dimitri57

Oldest Dev on F95
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Game Developer
Dec 12, 2017
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I could never get in to riding on motorcycles, guess it was from all my years of being a medic and seeing the aftermath of people that lost it on their bikes.
********** WARNING**********

Gather arounds kids and let grandpa Dima tell you a long-winded story... :D


I've lived up to the saying "There's only two kinds of bikers, the ones that's been down and the ones that are going to go down." I can assure you getting road rash sucks. Sliding on the asphalt flays you like a cheese grater.

My favorite tittie bar back in the day (Valley of the Dolls) was in the industrial part of the city where the semitrucks kept the road fucked up all the time. I was doing about 50 mph and high sided over the handlebars like superman after hitting a pothole so deep it cratered my 21" front wheel.

My main running buddy and I had closed the bar down like we had hundreds of times before. Between my beer goggles and the dim headlight on my bike, I didn't see the pothole in time to evade it. The worst thing about going down was watching my bike (that I had just repainted the week before) showering a rooster tail of sparks as it slid down the road in front of me.

To answer the obligatory question, no I wasn't wearing a helmet. I still don't unless I'm riding through a State that requires it. For me if it's your time go, it's your time to go.

< on soapbox mode > I've seen both sides of the argument. I've seen people die or get massive head injuries without a helmet and people die from a broken neck because of the additional weight of the helmet puts on your neck or base of your skull. <off soapbox mode >

Anyway, I ended up with a gash on the side of my forehead, road rash on my elbows, back and right ass cheek. I stayed with my bike until my buddy came back with his pickup to take it to my house.

Once my bike was safe, only then I did I think about getting myself looked at. My buddy pussed out and wouldn't wash the dirt and gravel that was embedded in my back. He was afraid I'd hit him if he tried to do that. :LOL:

He took me to the local hospital to get fixed up. By this time, it's been two hours since I wrecked. I nearly tore the cover off the hospital gurney as Nurse Ratchet scrubbed the dirt and gravel out of my back with anti-bacterial soap with what felt like a wire brush. :oops:

In the middle of all that, a cop comes into the room. (I assume the hospital called the police) He starts giving me a ration of shit asking me why I'd hadn't reported the accident. I told him didn't know I was supposed to report that I had a wreck with the ground! I'm sure he intended to arrest me for drunk driving, but between the time, pain and adrenaline I had sobered up. But to add insult to injury, he gave me a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident! FTW :mad:

They covered all my wounds with about thirty yards of medical tape and sent me home. As painful as it was to get cleaned up, that wasn't shit compared to pulling all that fucking tape off the next week to check how I was healing up! :oops:

Like they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (and smarter) I healed up and fixed my bike. I got back on her and have never stopped riding. I didn't stop drinking, but I don't let it get out of hand when I'm on two wheels. I don't hammer down until the bike is put away. I also upgraded my headlight blub to one that looks like a welding arc so I can see the road!
 
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motseer

Engaged Member
Dec 17, 2021
3,390
8,105
********** WARNING**********

Gather arounds kids and let grandpa Dima tell you a long-winded story... :D


I've lived up to the saying "There's only two kinds of bikers, the ones that's been down and the ones that are going to go down." I can assure you getting road rash sucks. Sliding on the asphalt flays you like a cheese grater.

My favorite tittie bar back in the day (Valley of the Dolls) was I in the industrial part of the city where the semitrucks kept the road fucked up all the time. I was doing about 50 mph and high sided over the handlebars like superman after hitting a pothole so deep it cratered my 21" front wheel.

My main running buddy and I had closed the bar down like we had hundreds of times before. Between my beer goggles and the dim headlight on my bike, I didn't see the pothole in time to evade it. The worst thing about going down was watching my bike (that I had just repainted the week before) showering a rooster tail of sparks as it slid down the road in front of me.

To answer the obligatory question, no I wasn't wearing a helmet. I still don't unless I'm riding through a State that requires it. For me if it's your time go, it's your time to go.

< on soapbox mode > I've seen both sides of the argument. I've seen people die or get massive head injuries without a helmet and people die from a broken neck because of the additional weight of the helmet puts on your neck or base of your skull. <off soapbox mode >

Anyway, I ended up with a gash on the side of my forehead, road rash on my elbows, back and right ass cheek. I stayed with my bike until my buddy came back with his pickup to take it to my house.

Once my bike was safe, only then I did I think about getting myself looked at. My buddy pussed out and wouldn't wash the dirt and gravel that was embedding in my back. He was afraid I'd hit him if he tried to do that. :LOL:

He took me to the local hospital to get fixed up. By this time, it's been two hours since I wrecked. I nearly tore the cover off the hospital gurney as Nurse Ratchet scrubbed the dirt and gravel out of my back with anti-bacterial soap with what felt like a wire brush. :oops:

In the middle of all that, a cop comes into the room. (I assume the hospital called the police) He starts giving me a ration of shit asking me why I'd hadn't reported the accident. I told him didn't know I was supposed to report that I had a wreck with the ground! I'm sure he intended to arrest me for drunk driving, but between the time, pain and adrenaline I had sobered up. But to add insult to injury, he gave me a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident! FTW :mad:

They covered all my wounds with about thirty yards of medical tape and sent me home. As painful as it was to get cleaned up, that wasn't shit compared to pulling all that fucking tape off the next week to check how I was healing up! :oops:

Like they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (and smarter) I healed up and fixed my bike. I got back on her and have never stopped riding. I didn't stop drinking, but I don't let it get out of hand when I'm on two wheels. I don't hammer down until the bike is put away. I also upgrade my headlight blub that looks like a welding arc so I can see the road!
The next morning Dima got up and had a breakfast of #8 commons... Jus Sayin' :cool:
 

divingmedic

Engaged Member
Aug 15, 2023
2,445
3,317
********** WARNING**********

Gather arounds kids and let grandpa Dima tell you a long-winded story... :D


I've lived up to the saying "There's only two kinds of bikers, the ones that's been down and the ones that are going to go down." I can assure you getting road rash sucks. Sliding on the asphalt flays you like a cheese grater.

My favorite tittie bar back in the day (Valley of the Dolls) was I in the industrial part of the city where the semitrucks kept the road fucked up all the time. I was doing about 50 mph and high sided over the handlebars like superman after hitting a pothole so deep it cratered my 21" front wheel.

My main running buddy and I had closed the bar down like we had hundreds of times before. Between my beer goggles and the dim headlight on my bike, I didn't see the pothole in time to evade it. The worst thing about going down was watching my bike (that I had just repainted the week before) showering a rooster tail of sparks as it slid down the road in front of me.

To answer the obligatory question, no I wasn't wearing a helmet. I still don't unless I'm riding through a State that requires it. For me if it's your time go, it's your time to go.

< on soapbox mode > I've seen both sides of the argument. I've seen people die or get massive head injuries without a helmet and people die from a broken neck because of the additional weight of the helmet puts on your neck or base of your skull. <off soapbox mode >

Anyway, I ended up with a gash on the side of my forehead, road rash on my elbows, back and right ass cheek. I stayed with my bike until my buddy came back with his pickup to take it to my house.

Once my bike was safe, only then I did I think about getting myself looked at. My buddy pussed out and wouldn't wash the dirt and gravel that was embedded in my back. He was afraid I'd hit him if he tried to do that. :LOL:

He took me to the local hospital to get fixed up. By this time, it's been two hours since I wrecked. I nearly tore the cover off the hospital gurney as Nurse Ratchet scrubbed the dirt and gravel out of my back with anti-bacterial soap with what felt like a wire brush. :oops:

In the middle of all that, a cop comes into the room. (I assume the hospital called the police) He starts giving me a ration of shit asking me why I'd hadn't reported the accident. I told him didn't know I was supposed to report that I had a wreck with the ground! I'm sure he intended to arrest me for drunk driving, but between the time, pain and adrenaline I had sobered up. But to add insult to injury, he gave me a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident! FTW :mad:

They covered all my wounds with about thirty yards of medical tape and sent me home. As painful as it was to get cleaned up, that wasn't shit compared to pulling all that fucking tape off the next week to check how I was healing up! :oops:

Like they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (and smarter) I healed up and fixed my bike. I got back on her and have never stopped riding. I didn't stop drinking, but I don't let it get out of hand when I'm on two wheels. I don't hammer down until the bike is put away. I also upgrade my headlight blub that looks like a welding arc so I can see the road!
Glad you got up and walked that one off, if not no game for us. My oldest daughter lives in Michigan and says you know you are following a drunk driver when they aren't dodging the potholes on the road :ROFLMAO:
 

comte bonfim

Member
Nov 13, 2021
116
213
Damn, that's a helluva story, man. Only time I ever when down was because I decided to ride my bike that day wearing flip flops (I think since I was going down the block real quick, I didn't see a problem), but then, doing the last corner the front tire just slipped and it threw me sideways, I slid the whole street until basically my shoulder and neck part touched the curb on the other side and I used my arm/hand to push my weight back before it I hit it with the full force of the impact, the worse part of it all was my feet, I lost basically most of my nails on my left leg, rash all over my leg but I stood up and walked over to the store (it was right in front of where I crashed), grabbed/bought what I had to buy, walked out, pulled my bike up and rode back, I guess I was just in desbelief because I didn't feel a single thing till I got home and looked over my leg, and just then I realized why people were looking at me funny. xD

Keep it in mind, I had woken up like 20~30 minutes before that, so yeah, that crash really woke me up! HA
 

LWtbo

Well-Known Member
Feb 11, 2018
1,484
2,605
I can't even match that.
I been off a bike 3 times 2 because a car stopped for no reason on gravely roads and I only suffered humiliation and minor bruising to my hands.
Third time was approaching a roundabout (if you know what that is ) it was wet and someone truck had spilled gravel at the entrance to the roundabout.
I might of been going a little quicker than I should.
The back wheel locked up and started fishtailing then it came round and I went down.
My leg caught under the bike and it took me with it along the road to the center of the Island.
I was lucky to be wearing a small backpack.
I walked away with was a Scratched up bike a slightly warm and bruised left leg.
Absolutely no seat (arse) left in my trousers or underpants.
So untill I picked up my bike I was showing to every one who had stopped to see if I was ok.
A rather humiliating and slightly red full moon.
 
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