Dimitri57
Great game, just played the 100% good route and it was great. Read complaints here about its length, but i think it was just right. After the main bad guy of that story was taken care of it might have felt forced to go on.
Some things to correct that i found:
Corporal Jones:...rumors that she use
(d to) work the pole before she got her government job.
MC: I r
esemble (resent) that remark...
Tracy: ... Do
(you) see me changing who I am...
Tracy: Mama's not use
(d) to receiving this treatment.
MC: Damn I'll be like a kid in a candy store when
(you) make offers like that
JD's thoughts: Shit he's laying where I'm not going to be able to watch cartoons.
(the phrasing is a little weird)
Tracy: MC, please give me
(a) chance first.
Tracy(should be Jessy): Hey, MC needs my hug too.
Tracy(should be Jessy):Jeez get a room, or let's get going before it gets too late.
Jessy
('s thoughts): Brooke thinks MC and me are together.
MC(should be Tracy): I don't think you should stay at home until i know if JD is serious about his threats or not
(Jess just asked what to do and the one answering is the MC and then she talks again to Tracy)
You stop and pick up some beer and wine. Then Tracy drives you
(to) a small motel at the edge of town and checks into a room.
MC: Have
(you) told your mom about this? She loves and cares about you.
Your thoughts: Now it makes
since (sense) why she craves validation.
Tracy: MC, I don't want you
(to) do something that will cause you to be put back in prison.
Jessy: Plain black is sooo boring. You need a little bling, a
of flash of color.
Jessy: Later
s Sasha.
MC: No way I will let that
will happen.
Tracy: Thanks hon. Now get out of my kitchen naked man. The oven is hot and I don't
(want) you to burn anything I want to use later.
Tracy: ... I on the other hand, enjoy
any anything you can throw at me (not sure if the first any is deliberate or not, pointing it out just in case)
MC: I've got
(to) figure out what I'm going to
(do) for a living.
Tracy: ... No since all that stuff just sitting there until we figure out what to do with it. (Something seems to be missing in this sentence)
Well, that's all i could spot in the 100% good route
Just started the 99% good route, picking to take out JD at the end and this is what i found:
Jessy: I'll drop MC at Angie's. She wanted to show him her apartment
(to) him before he leaves town.
Jessy: You guys go ahead and
(have) fun without me...
Angie: Did you two enjoy fucking that skinny blonde cunt? MC: Brooke? Angie: Yes, Brooke. MC: Honestly yeah i did enjoy fucking her.
(Picking all good and only the last one bad doesn't have the scene with Brooke. reading recent post's seems like this has already been pointed out)
Will let you know what i find in other routes. From what i have seen, there is a lot more content to go through.
Congratulations on the improvement by the way, as the story progresses the quality of the models improves noticeably.