My dear Fapbrothers and Fapsisters.
Now is the time for me to make the boldest, most significant claim ever made by a human being since René Descartes uttered "I am, therefore I think".
In all my might - and with God as a ( probably unapproving ) witness, I am telling you right now; "Long Story Short" is the best porn game ever created. For all that is unholy and in the name of eternal depravity, this game has earned the ( recently created by me, copyright pending ) title of !!!BEST PORN GAME IN THE UNIVERSE AND BEYOND!!! ( BEYOND-BEYON-BEYON-beyon-beyon-on - those are echoes btw )... and all those who oppose this idea should be promptly emasculated ON SIGHT!
I've been religiously perusing F95 for quite a while. Perhaps am I less voluble than other users, but I come ( and cum ) very often around here, rest assured. I am one of yours. Perhaps am I even you and you don't know it yet. Through roughly a couple of decades now, I have been lurking on internet, insatiable and out of control, like a raging, rampaging, rabid, horny, mad and deranged computer-using orangutan with a severe case of priapism, hunting for the best pornography this revolutionary invention has to offer. I dare call myself a connoisseur of cybernetic carnal bystandership if there ever has been one. I've seen petabytes of porn, perhaps even exabytes - I admit to have lost count several years ago after receiving electroshock therapy.
Some would say I've wasted my life. But today, at this very instant, at this precise moment in my life, I can safely say: NO, I DID NOT for this game is the pinnacle. The cream on top of the cherry that is on top of the crop and beyond. You can't reach it. You can't even see where it ends. That's how high this game is on my list.
Why? Let me explain.
First, this game looks good. The menu, the characters - heck, even I look good when I see my own reflection when the screen gets darker, and that's quite a feat - it all looks effin' stellar. Secondly, unlike 99% of porn games, this one feels real. It could all happen, you know. Anything in this game is plausible. The characters react like real people ( although in a rather romanticised manner to cut the corners ). You could fall in love in a blind date. Your best friend's girlfriend could hit on you. You could fall for her as well. You could meet a naked hobo in the middle of an alleyway. Your best friend could go bald at any time as well. Thirdly, it's well paced. Much like those "satisfying" videos of candies being fabricated or meat being turned into sausage, it all goes smoothly and it's effective as hell and you just can't get enough. The dialogues go straight to the point and yet the characters all appear to have real, complex personalities. Finally, the choices you make MATTER. How many games fake that shit, amirite? For example:
Option 1: Yes, I'll have sex with you.
Result: You have sex.
Option 2: No! Don't do it! No, don't do it! I'm a virgin!
Result: You have sex.
Long Story Short opens and closes the doors. You do something? Something precise happens. And it's logical. It sounds right. By God, it feels good to actually select to NOT do something and NOT having anything happening.
Alright, maybe it's stupid to not do anything in a sex game, but anyway.
For the TL;DR people: This game is the best game out there... and you are one lazy mofo. Go read some books for Christ's sake.
I'll write a complete review once this game is finished.
