Ren'Py Lustful Sin [v0.5.5 Patreon] [UnusualFishGame]

[Rosen King]

My advice would be highlight text words which you want players to pay attention to. For example: different demon names get different colors, so try to make it so any word or sentence which signifies plot points related to certain demons are colored just like the demon names.

Gotta disagree on this one. People will either pay attention to the story or not, but having certain lines be different colors for no reason other than to say, "Hey, look at me!" will be annoying both to the people who are already paying attention and the people who don't want to. Going out of the way to make parts of the text more distracting can really disrupt the flow of reading it, and I'm particularly sensitive to that sort of thing myself. And when that happens, I actually retain less of what I'm reading.

Besides, the main thing that will cause people to lose track of details isn't whether they paid attention in the first place, but whether they forgot in the time between updates.

 

[HolyFish]

I find the story beats interesting, but I can see why other people would complain "nothing happened" -- it is not that nothing happened, but rather, many plot points are sprinkled like hints through word of mouth of several characters, and not emphasized. Details like how...

You really nailed it haha, this is really great! I will add color text to important story bit right at the next update.

Back to the story, I find it incredibly funny that-- .

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I also recommended using image club-type prostitution house, which is rather unique to Japan as it involves girls in costumes as well as simulating perverted/kinky real-life situations to satisfy customers. This is not that important, mainly just me recommending a place for you to try various character designs.

So this time around, I will recommend a quest system related to Gloria.

Given she has a large company and Gloria herself mentions giving another woman for Lust to drain from, it should be fairly interesting to have an assortment of quests related to the company and assisting Gloria, each quest unlocking another female to have fun with. They don't need to be plot relevant, just additional options~

This is literally my plan for Gloria haha, She and the MC used to be partners in crime, and the MC basically brainwash people to come work for her and in return, Gloria use her money to buy stuff for him. Each of Gloria's quest will unlock other female just like you said.

First time, I brought up using hypnosis techniques, which aren't supernatural and thus don't leave traces for others to pick up. This should be a good time for Lust to start considering to use it, since Gloria found him through these traces -- Lust isn't stupid, he should know if Gloria can, then people who sealed him or exorcists can, too.

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[HolyFish]

Gotta disagree on this one. People will either pay attention to the story or not, but having certain lines be different colors for no reason other than to say, "Hey, look at me!" will be annoying both to the people who are already paying attention and the people who don't want to. Going out of the way to make parts of the text more distracting can really disrupt the flow of reading it, and I'm particularly sensitive to that sort of thing myself. And when that happens, I actually retain less of what I'm reading.

Besides, the main thing that will cause people to lose track of details isn't whether they paid attention in the first place, but whether they forgot in the time between updates.

Nah, I won't color the whole line, just the character's name and keywords in a sentence.

 

[Rosen King]

Nah, I won't color the whole line, just the character's name and keywords in a sentence.

The problem isn't whether it's the whole line, it's with putting unnecessary distractions like that in the first place. Having it just be certain words can actually be even more disruptive to the flow of the sentence. Being able to read through the text normally is pretty important to me, and I would ask to have an option to turn that off if you do it, but I don't think there's an easy way to implement something like that...

I really don't think it's a good idea in general, but I also disagree that it would be a solution to the supposed problem at all. Nobody's complaining that "nothing happened" because they somehow didn't notice that exposition was happening, those people simply don't care about exposition in the first place. (Edit: Or in Illuminati's case, because they haven't seen the payoff of that exposition yet. Sorry, I didn't mean to overgeneralize there.) Anyone who cares to read would obviously notice the plot detail in question. The only time you really need to draw attention to certain words is if missing them would literally prevent someone from knowing how to progress in the game, like when Ai tells you to visit her on Saturday Afternoon at the beginning. (Incidentally, the game should really start closer to Saturday so that you don't have to skip past the first several days of the game doing literally nothing before doing one of the first events.)


Edit: Also, one other important issue with this is that some ways of altering words can actually cause display issues for certain players. Here's two examples of one such issue I've run into, although I think this might have been caused by using strange characters instead of the color:

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[Illuminati00]

I find the story beats interesting, but I can see why other people would complain "nothing happened" -- it is not that nothing happened, but rather, many plot points are sprinkled like hints through word of mouth of several characters, and not emphasized. Details like how...

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...may seem obviously important clues and details for players who really pay attention, but it otherwise just feels like flavour text.

My advice would be highlight text words which you want players to pay attention to. For example: different demon names get different colors, so try to make it so any word or sentence which signifies plot points related to certain demons are colored just like the demon names.

Back to the story, I find it incredibly funny that--

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--which is honestly entertaining, but might seem a bit hard to believe. Are individual demons quite limited in their range of abilities here? Or did Gloria simply not want to dirty her hands and would rather have Lust do so? Questions, questions~

The plot thickens, and just the beginning of it. Now we start to get why Lust is here and like this, but not how. Eri's mom is probably the next step to unravel.

You did good work. Just like before, I will offer more suggestions.

First time, I brought up using hypnosis techniques, which aren't supernatural and thus don't leave traces for others to pick up. This should be a good time for Lust to start considering to use it, since Gloria found him through these traces -- Lust isn't stupid, he should know if Gloria can, then people who sealed him or exorcists can, too.

Next, I brought up the idea of Lust going on dates with any of the girls so he can learn more about the modern world. This is mainly for romance, so now it might not be feasible yet, but I am sure you have plans already.

I also recommended using image club-type prostitution house, which is rather unique to Japan as it involves girls in costumes as well as simulating perverted/kinky real-life situations to satisfy customers. This is not that important, mainly just me recommending a place for you to try various character designs.

So this time around, I will recommend a quest system related to Gloria.

Given she has a large company and Gloria herself mentions giving another woman for Lust to drain from, it should be fairly interesting to have an assortment of quests related to the company and assisting Gloria, each quest unlocking another female to have fun with. They don't need to be plot relevant, just additional options~

What kind of quests it could be depends on Gloria's company, but a relatively simple example should be to accompany Gloria or other workers for business negotiation. Lust also seems to be handsome, so his face should be good for advertisement making, or for fundraising activities.

That would be all for now. Keep up the good work!

Oh do not mistake me, my point was that the story has not moved and therefore it is hard to really rate or give feedback. I am not blind to clues nor to plots being set up, though the story will have to move a bit for valid feedback and criticism to be properly given. What has been created is good, but it is very hard to give what was requested when the story and characters are still being set up.

 

[HolyFish]

I really don't think it's a good idea in general, but I also disagree that it would be a solution to the supposed problem at all. Nobody's complaining that "nothing happened" because they somehow didn't notice that exposition was happening, those people simply don't care about exposition in the first place. Anyone who cares to read would obviously notice the plot detail in question. The only time you really need to draw attention to certain words is if missing them would literally prevent someone from knowing how to progress in the game, like when Ai tells you to visit her on Saturday Afternoon at the beginning.

Make sense, then I will only use it when nessessary and will highlight the stuff that people need to know to progress.

(Incidentally, the game should really start closer to Saturday so that you don't have to skip past the first several days of the game doing literally nothing before doing one of the first events.)

I have noticed this issue, I am adding side stuff to fill the gaps, first one added was Alice's quest, available as soon as you finish the prologue.

Edit: Also, one other important issue with this is that some ways of altering words can actually cause display issues for certain players. Here's two examples of one such issue I've run into, although I think this might have been caused by using strange characters instead of the color:

This is actually intentional, I just think it look more dramatic that way haha.

 

[Rosen King]

This is actually intentional, I just think it look more dramatic that way haha.

Are you sure? I literally can't read what's written there. And some of it is just squares, which usually only show up when the computer can't read certain characters. Is that really how it displays on your end?

 

[HolyFish]

Are you sure? I literally can't read what's written there. And some of it is just squares, which usually only show up when the computer can't read certain characters. Is that really how it displays on your end?

Yeah, the first screenshot is just the MC screaming AAA and the second one is just the previous "Wake up" but added square and repeated.
That look better than the MC just scream AAAAAAAAAAA lol

 

[BlasKyau]

This is literally my plan for Gloria haha, She and the MC used to be partners in crime, and the MC basically brainwash people to come work for her and in return, Gloria use her money to buy stuff for him. Each of Gloria's quest will unlock other female just like you said.

If it's brainwashing girls to turn them into prostitutes, I think I'll pass.

 

[HolyFish]

If it's brainwashing girls to turn them into prostitutes, I think I'll pass.

Nah, not prostitutes, office ladies just like the current quest. Gloria wants to convert her competitor's key employees so they work for her instead. It would make no sense for her to use them as prostitutes.

 

[BlasKyau]

As for Yuki, I guess Gloria was assuming that the MC was going to do more than drain some life out of her. Personally, the way I play I'd like her to find out at some point that the MC doesn't do sexual stuff using his power anymore.

 

[HolyFish]

As for Yuki, I guess Gloria was assuming that the MC was going to do more than drain some life out of her. Personally, the way I play I'd like her to find out at some point that the MC doesn't do sexual stuff using his power anymore.

Already planned, prepare for scolding.

 

[BlasKyau]

Personally I always use my head to drain energ, so this image doesn't match the MC's system in my game at all:

Already planned, prepare for scolding.

Well, considering that I don't really like her since she handed over one of her employees for the MC to dominate her and have sex.

 

[HolyFish]

Personally I always use my head to drain energ, so this image doesn't match the MC's system in my game at all.

Funnily enough, I discover that bug just after I deliver the update, while looking through the code I noticed I accidentally left a "" so it failed to check if you didn't use the chest drain. Already fixed that, sorry.

Well, considering that I don't really like her since she handed over one of her employees for the MC to dominate her and have sex.

Gloria is a CEO after all.

Gloria's priority is for you to recover, after thousands of years, she doesn't really care about strangers anymore (Hiro is a special case).

Btw the sins will be the first people to let you have consent sex.

 

[Illuminati00]

Are all of the other sins female? If yes it would be ironic since a lot of depictions only make lust female and the rest male. Though I do wonder why Lust has seemingly no ambitions as Gloria. She is greed if I remember correctly, and therefore makes a company to get things she desire. As you said before, they were partners, he dominated people to work for her and she bought him things, why has he no ambition to create a company or something else with people for him to satiate his lust? Gloria seems unnecessary in that equation. If he doesn't want to do the work of company leader, it would not be hard for him to find someone else to do it for him.

 

[HolyFish]

Are all of the other sins female? If yes it would be ironic since a lot of depictions only make lust female and the rest male. Though I do wonder why Lust has seemingly no ambitions as Gloria. She is greed if I remember correctly, and therefore makes a company to get things she desire. As you said before, they were partners, he dominated people to work for her and she bought him things, why has he no ambition to create a company or something else with people for him to satiate his lust? Gloria seems unnecessary in that equation. If he doesn't want to do the work of company leader, it would not be hard for him to find someone else to do it for him.

Pride is also a male, he is gramps. The reason why he doesn't create a company or something like that is because he doesn't need to, he can just make a harem if he wants, he can control people after all. He helps Gloria because the sins are basically family.

 

[Illuminati00]

Pride is also a male, he is gramps. The reason why he doesn't create a company or something like that is because he doesn't need to, he can just make a harem if he wants, he can control people after all. He helps Gloria because the sins are basically family.

Ah, figured that it was Pride(always wanted a game where you play as pride, though that will never come).
Makes sense I suppose, though he would need funding somehow. If he just helpes Gloria because of his kindness I do hope she recognizes this.

 

[HolyFish]

Ah, figured that it was Pride(always wanted a game where you play as pride, though that will never come).
Makes sense I suppose, though he would need funding somehow. If he just helpes Gloria because of his kindness I do hope she recognizes this.

She does haha, that is why she remains at Lust's seal while the others spread out to find Wrath. Buying him stuff is also her way to repay him even when she knows he can just get what he wants.

 

[Illuminati00]

She does haha, that is why she remains at Lust's seal while the others spread out to find Wrath. Buying him stuff is also her way to repay him even when she knows he can just get what he wants.

Good, makes her more likeable. Even though he can probably get whatever he wants in the world, buying someone something instead of just giving them the money for it usually means more.

 

[BlasKyau]

Funnily enough, I discover that bug just after I deliver the update, while looking through the code I noticed I accidentally left a "" so it failed to check if you didn't use the chest drain. Already fixed that, sorry.

With Alice and Yuki it has worked well



I don't know what the MC did to Alice, but of course the sex scene didn't interest me.

I don't have a picture of Yuki

Gloria is a CEO after all.

Gloria's priority is for you to recover, after thousands of years, she doesn't really care about strangers anymore (Hiro is a special case).

Btw the sins will be the first people to let you have consent sex.

For now I don't see my MC starting a romantic relationship with her.