VERSION: 0.31
Superficially astonishing, Milftoon Drama boasts some of the finest art in 2D adult games with various animated sequences, by recurring Milftoon-site contributor Branch, inspired by Disney cinematic classics such as
The Sword in the Stone,
Alice in Wonderland and
Sleeping Beauty; contrary to my expectation, the blatantly derivative characters serve to enhance the eroticism of the experience courtesy of turning what was formerly so innocent into something utterly taboo.
There, however, the praise grinds to a shuddering halt as we progress beyond the superficial.
For a game that relies so heavily on establishing context via dialogue and exposition, rather than merely shuffling the player from one scene of erotica to the next (as may have been preferable), MIlftoon Drama contains some of the most amateur-tier writing imaginable, stemming either from the mind of an English-as-a-second-language writer or someone with a truly unstable grasp on linguistics. The script is awash with errors, from grammar and syntax to a perpetually disjointed delivery, while what remains is a bevvy of tropes and thoroughly unlikable characters.
The protagonist, for example, is a loathsome individual, consistently portrayed as both dim and idiotic, incapable of articulating himself and often fooled by others, he is thoroughly devoid of charm or any other virtue that would elevate him above a punching bag much less justify their amorous interest. More often than not, I found myself wondering why anyone in this town would find him attractive, as (shockingly) the artist avoided the "hung like a horse" trope and the protagonist is, in appearance and mannerisms alike, scarcely more developed than a child: easily manipulated and rarely exhibiting anything beyond a half-baked notion of how to proceed toward acomplishing his goals.
Worse yet, the game is mechanically unsound and appears to have gleaned nothing from the wealth of Sierra and LucasArts adventure titles that so clearly inspired it: the needless clicking of icons is constantly, yet inconsistently, required to accomplish mundane tasks. Items combine inexplicably, in a manner that might be explained solely by their designer. Progress is linear to the extreme, with no room for experimentation and such tortuously illogical steps that it demands you consult a walkthrough.
To illustrate the aforementioned, take either of the following...
1) At several occassions throughout this version you are required to access a specific room within the local hotel. To enter such, you must click the Keycard item in your inventory, from a bar at the top of the window, then click the keycard reader on the wall adjacent to the door. By way of accessing a locked room for the first time this is reasonable, yet you must repeat that tedious process every time. Then, in the latter quarter of the game, the protagonist abruptly declares that they can simply enter the door. What ought to have occured every time after the initial entry, suddenly becomes a time-saving mechanic so far into the story that it no longer saves you any time whatsoever.
2) To travel throughout the city, as is customary in many games, you must reach the world map screen wherein you may select a new location. To access the map you must click the Map - City East item from your inventory then click the limousine outside your home. This, too, is inconsistent, as exiting certain locations will deposit you back on the world map, whereas departing others will return you home, necessitating you (once again) click the item and then the car.
...all told, you will expend a significant portion of your time clicking needlessly to accomplish menial tasks, where simpler, more straightforward interactions would have sufficed. This design principle also extends to environmental interactions, which entail items from prior versions that no longer serve any purpose (a hole that has been "filled in" through which you could have peeped into the bathroom, a book that the protagonist's father reads, items in the local store, etc); new players will be dismayed by just how many interactions accomplish nothing. That is, nothing more than forcing them to click through a series of lines that might as well have read "this is pointless, stop reading and look elsewhere immediately."
GRAPHICS ------------------------ 9 / 10
+ Beautiful women, primarily of the buxom and mature type, portrayed in a style that is simultaneously unique and nostalgic. Fluid animations that, although short, are often both tantalizingly erotic and fairly explicit.
- GUI elements often obscure the scene, including animated sequences, bereft of an option to toggle them (as in Ren'Py) nor can screenshots be reliably captured without third-party software due to the engine constraints.
DIALOGUE ------------------------ 2 / 10
- Innumerable grammatical, typographical and syntax errors. Exposition betrays a poor grasp of the English language and nonexistent editorial oversight.
- Disjointed formatting and delivery, requiring excessive clicks to proceed through any given interaction.
- Lackluster characterization and scant growth or development. No grounding in reality where character-motivations are concerned, such that several members of the cast behave in a mentally deranged fashion.
- Overarching storyline is an undeservedly convoluted, patchwork monstrosity of tropes and pornographic stereotypes.
- Insipid, uninspired and puerile protagonist that is thoroughly undeserving of the amorous attention he receives; inspires disdain from the cast and player alike. The protagonist often behaves erratically and is forced, by the narrative, to engage in actions that undermine their stated goal.
GAMEPLAY ----------------------- 3 / 10
- Rigidly linear narrative with no meaningful choice-and-consequence features whatsoever, gating content behind (often) obscure interactions that practically demand the player adhere to a walkthrough. Players retain no volition as regards the order in which events unfold, nor how the protagonist reacts regardless of their subjective preference.
- Versions are not iterative but, awkwardly, quasi-episodic. As such, players who begin a "new game" in version 0.31 are unable to access content from earlier versions and boast an inventory of items they do not recognize, unknown characters with whom they've already established relationships and nothing more than hastily penned expository dumps to enlighten them as to the disparity. The opportunity to genuinely "begin" the story does not exist to new players within any singular release.
- No interactive-item highlighting nor ease-of-use system, as seen in other titles, to aid in navigating the environment.
- Various items that may be interacted with serve no purpose whatsoever, either originating from other releases or serving as mere props; nonetheless, players must click through the same pointless dialogue each time the item is selected should they be baffled when attempting to progress.
- Moving throughout the city is accomplished in a tedious and unreliable fashion, often (yet not always) requiring the player to drag an item from their inventory to a vehicle. Areas may be selected on the map and yet prohibit the player from accessing them until dictated by the storyline; these strictures fluctuate throughout the adventure at the designer's whim.
INNOVATION -------------------- 5 / 10
+ Gallery feature is well-integrated and flush with content that spans the numerous versions.
- Mechanically reminiscent of early Sierra and LucasArts adventure titles, replete with their various drawbacks.
- Restricted ability to save during certain sequences and fourth-wall breaking notifications to do so prior to various events.
SCORE ===================== 19 / 40
ARTISTICALLY ASTONISHING, MECHANICALLY AND NARRATIVELY FLAWED
No amount of gorgeous women can adequately compensate for the onerous steps required to see them, the leaden storyline, unlikable protagonist and nearly incomprehensible manner in which the narrative unfolds. For the moment, those interested in the art would best be served by searching out the artist's online galleries and CG rips or skipping to the in-game gallery itself.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITIQUE: Consult with an editor or, at the very least, run your script through a word-processor with a grammar-and-spelling function. Reduce the amount of unnecessary clutter and artifacts from prior releases, such that time isn't needlessly expended on meaningless interactions. Alter the engine to allow for hiding the GUI at whim, such that players can enjoy the unobstructed art (as it is your best feature). Consider allowing for increased agency within the storyline, such that players are not shackled with pursuing characters they dislike at the cost of those they prefer. Provide the protagonist with some genuine character growth or development and opportunities to demonstrate they deserve to be with these women; whether this entails growing a spine and some wit (as when interacting with Gloria), manifesting genuine feelings beyond mere lust (as with Linda) or merely behaving in a less abusive manner (as with Alicia).