When your mom is jealous
Mom: "Jack, I'm not happy about you going out on a date with that girl again. She's a little tramp, and she's no good for you."
Jack: "C'mon mom... We've talked about this. Beth and I are just going out as friends. Besides, you were the one who said I should find someone closer to my own age!"
Mom: "You SHOULD find someone your own age -- just not yet. Oh, I'm sorry Jack. I know you must think your mother has lost her mind. I can't help it though. I want you all to myself, and I'm afraid one of these little whores is going to steal you away from me..."
Jack: "Not a chance mom. I'll be home before midnight. If you're still awake, maybe we could..."
Mom: "Be home before eleven, mister! I'll be waiting."