Smarmint
Well-Known Member
- Mar 23, 2019
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Ok, well I can't write dialog at all, so I get it. I didn't do a file compare on the script, but I scanned through the old and new versions, and wherever I stopped the text was the same, but Ok. Glad you got some edits in there.I write all the text myself, I've tried to search for another writer, but that didn't work out. So all "cringy" writing is mine, don't play it if you don't like it
And there are plenty of edits for the first parts of the game. But the story is the same.
It's mainly that Yui comes across as way too naive for her age. I know that is the trend, but it's a bit much for me. The mom character comes across as a student also or maybe a slightly older Aunt, which seems out of place for her character. Maybe some like her, but she doesn't fit to me.
Helen, Sophie, and Shinigami are a lot better written, I think. Their scenes are all quite good, and spicy also. Seeing Sophie open up more is nice to see.