VN Ren'Py My Parents Case [v0.1.25.1a] [Giandalf The Tall]

[Dragonlight]

Oh boy ! I quite liked the game. As for Norah i read her as horny teenager. Her crush got a GF, she wanted a distraction, got herself BF, but got bored of him after a while. Yeah whatever. Maybe its a bad fit for childhood friend fantasy story, but for me its no big deal. I wish the dev to continue cooking. Sex scene made pretty nice in my opinion. Lead up, posing, chemistry between characters etc. done well. Dev has potential, im looking forward for the next update.

 

[tmu500]

Looks interesting, hopefully more developed characters and story.

 

[FalconLover420]

I usually don't care much about LI with previous sexual experience, but this one kinda made me ick. You have a female character that supposedly loved you hard to the point of borderline obsession, but she dates a guy and described how he has a bigger dick and she broke up with because her feelings with you....??! what?

You can basically rewrite this dialogue or scenario by saying yeah, I dated that guy, but I didn't manage to get turned on nor feel anything so after constantly refusing, we broke up.


The other love interest.... YIKES... I book it when someone talks about their body count.

 

[herreraaa]

A lot of unnecessary 1 option choices....

 

[FunFuntomes]

Oh yeah, before I forget, NO FUCKING NTR!!!

of course there is no NTR, everyone that coud fuck the love interests already had a go at them and got bored of them.... so now MC can pick up the leftovers

 

[NebulousShooter]

This is a copy of a message I already posted on dev's Patreon, just in case it gets nuked.

Not related to this status, but after finishing playing this I am stuck in a loop of going from staring in disbelief at the scenes and laughing hysterically at how tone deaf, or lack of self awareness you need to write this script and not see any issue with it.

I still cannot believe that someone that did a passive aggressive 'No Fucking NTR' disclaimer and is allegedly making a romance-harem game made the main LI, a childhood friend, basically telling the MC ' yours is the perfect size, the big ones hurt' while they were having a moment, after finally getting together =)))))))))

I don't know what possessed you to write that backstory and that reveal scene...like I try, I swear, but I literally cannot follow the narrative logic unless making her look trashy and humiliating the MC was the goal, lol.

The alternatives, not really since Norah is forced, are Emily that gets bare ass spanked by her daddy at age 22 and we are also told has lots of sex, very important info for a harem game, harem players love it when their romance options have fucked the whole town and never shut up about it. /sarcasm

Brighten, that also seems by attitude to be a sex pest...so basically none, i don't know man, it feel you got your wires crossed, beacuse you basically somehow manage to write *only* characters diametrically opposed of what a harem fan is looking for.

Does that mean everyone should be a virgin, far from it, although if you are using a childhood crush trope she would have benefited from that detail(since its the entire point of the trope), over Jackhammer Flynn...What it means is that vanilla/harem/romance players have no need to read details, or see any of the girls previous, or ongoing sex life, it literally has no narrative reason to exist, it just turns off anyone interested in a romance with them and trust me the parents case will not hold anyone to keep playing while hating the entire cast.

You had a good thing going, cute girls, pretty wholesome dynamics for the most part and then go and ruin it with the worst backstories and dialogue...after building that romance the entire episode, portraying the MC as an insecure simp, when he finally dares to confess, BAM! Jackhammer Flynn...While MC has a dick that barely shows from a small girl's hand, has dreams about girls telling him his size is good enough, I just can't understand how you write that and don't read the room on how it comes across )

If this is the kind of disrespect the MC and the audience gets in 0.1, I don't know what to tell you, man. Good luck, you will going to need it to sell this type of characters to the main vanilla audience!

 

[tezpov]

The criticisms in this thread are way over the top. I just played it, and Norah said Flynn sucked in bed, so I don't see why anyone is making a big deal of that bit.

It's not a bad first release, but the frequent single choices should be changed.

 

[NebulousShooter]

The criticisms in this thread are way over the top. I just played it, and Norah said Flynn sucked in bed, so I don't see why anyone is making a big deal of that bit.

It's not a bad first release, but the frequent single choices should be changed.

Picture this, you finally get together with your lifelong crush, you kiss and then she starts talking about her ex's giant dick...how you don't see how that might be a humiliating experience, regardless of what adjectives she uses to describe it? Literally, the only way it could have been worse is if the conversation happened during the sex scene, or immediately after. She is getting dicked down by the micro penis and she is thinking about her ex's dick.

To a lesser extend, same way with the info about Emily having lots of amazing sex, it does nothing for the plot, it just turns off people that are interested in a romance with her.

Look at the big College Game on the site and see how that game manages to have strippers and actual prostitutes as fan favorite characters, you don't see them talking about how many dicks they sucked, what sizes they were etc. basically, it doesn't rub it in the players faces with unnecessary details that any moron can infer.

"I like doing it on top" gives you all the info you need to know, she is not a virgin and knows what she likes. You don't need to read details about how many she rode and how many orgasms she got, or not and what size their dicks were. Those type of details are only if you are making a cuck, or cuck adjacent game, where they prefer their romance options to be as trashy and disgusting as possible.

I feel most people are disappointed because the good parts were really good, it just feels like wasted potential...The dev shooting themselves in the foot for no reason. No one benefits, not the characters, not the core audience interested in romance/harem, not himself since most will pass on the game.

 

[NebulousShooter]

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Now that the story is starting to take shape, I would like to hear your opinions and wishes for the story. Do you have a specific wish for a character? What did you like, what didn't you like? Let me know in the comments.
I will see how I can incorporate your wishes into the story.
I plan to structure the story roughly as follows: one third is about the death of your parents, another third is about MC's relationships, and the last third is about sex.
The wishes and suggestions of paying members will be given a higher priority.
In the past, there seemed to be problems with commenting, so comments were not posted or disappeared. I never delete comments unless they are obviously offensive or racist.
So, hit the keys
~GTT

 

[Before I Forget]

I usually don't care much about LI with previous sexual experience, but this one kinda made me ick. You have a female character that supposedly loved you hard to the point of borderline obsession, but she dates a guy and described how he has a bigger dick and she broke up with because her feelings with you....??! what?

You can basically rewrite this dialogue or scenario by saying yeah, I dated that guy, but I didn't manage to get turned on nor feel anything so after constantly refusing, we broke up.


The other love interest.... YIKES... I book it when someone talks about their body count.

This is a copy of a message I already posted on dev's Patreon, just in case it gets nuked.

Not related to this status, but after finishing playing this I am stuck in a loop of going from staring in disbelief at the scenes and laughing hysterically at how tone deaf, or lack of self awareness you need to write this script and not see any issue with it.

I still cannot believe that someone that did a passive aggressive 'No Fucking NTR' disclaimer and is allegedly making a romance-harem game made the main LI, a childhood friend, basically telling the MC ' yours is the perfect size, the big ones hurt' while they were having a moment, after finally getting together =)))))))))

I don't know what possessed you to write that backstory and that reveal scene...like I try, I swear, but I literally cannot follow the narrative logic unless making her look trashy and humiliating the MC was the goal, lol.

The alternatives, not really since Norah is forced, are Emily that gets bare ass spanked by her daddy at age 22 and we are also told has lots of sex, very important info for a harem game, harem players love it when their romance options have fucked the whole town and never shut up about it. /sarcasm

Brighten, that also seems by attitude to be a sex pest...so basically none, i don't know man, it feel you got your wires crossed, beacuse you basically somehow manage to write *only* characters diametrically opposed of what a harem fan is looking for.

Does that mean everyone should be a virgin, far from it, although if you are using a childhood crush trope she would have benefited from that detail(since its the entire point of the trope), over Jackhammer Flynn...What it means is that vanilla/harem/romance players have no need to read details, or see any of the girls previous, or ongoing sex life, it literally has no narrative reason to exist, it just turns off anyone interested in a romance with them and trust me the parents case will not hold anyone to keep playing while hating the entire cast.

You had a good thing going, cute girls, pretty wholesome dynamics for the most part and then go and ruin it with the worst backstories and dialogue...after building that romance the entire episode, portraying the MC as an insecure simp, when he finally dares to confess, BAM! Jackhammer Flynn...While MC has a dick that barely shows from a small girl's hand, has dreams about girls telling him his size is good enough, I just can't understand how you write that and don't read the room on how it comes across )

If this is the kind of disrespect the MC and the audience gets in 0.1, I don't know what to tell you, man. Good luck, you will going to need it to sell this type of characters to the main vanilla audience!

Haven't you guys heard of realism? Geez

 

[NebulousShooter]

Spoiler

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MC and Emily, 5 seconds after their first kiss in next update

 

[fajiker145]

Spoiler

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MC and Emily, 5 seconds after their first kiss in next update

Can't wait to hear about her threesome with Mandingo Johnson and Donny Longshaft.

 

[Before I Forget]

Spoiler

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MC and Emily, 5 seconds after their first kiss in next update

Or be spammed with more inner dialogue... or how it's been 2 weeks since his parents died... or the cringe flirting the MC tries to do...

Seriously aside from the cute models the story was a chore to get through.

 

[Elduriel]

ugh, get rid of those meaningless "choices", they literally serve no purpose whatsoever. Don't put shit like that in a game just to have them.

 

[NebulousShooter]

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I think the title says it all, I just uploaded the revised version of chapter 1 [0.1.25.1a].
Changelog:

• proofread (especially at the beginning it is a difference like day and night)
• removed a short sequence of a scene which could offend other people (Norah and MC won't talk over their ex partners anymore)
• replaced an wrong image with the correct one

That's it. So if you want, you can read the whole visual novel again. I did it today to proofread it and fix the last typos. It was like... a whole new story, sort of.
And I want to say a big thank you to the proofreader! You did a great job!
Anyways, please tell me in the comments what you think of it =)
Here are the download links again:

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~GTT

 

[NebulousShooter]

You must be registered to see the links

"You eat quickly so that you still have some time to chat afterwards."

The latest survey on the progress report is pretty balanced: 57% are in favor, 43% are not. I'm planning to do it this way: slightly more spectacular renders, but never ones that give away too much of the story. That should be a good compromise that suits everyone.

So, let's talk about the game.

As you may have noticed, the language in Chapter 1 has been revised. The new version of the game was uploaded over the weekend. You gave feedback to remove the many choices with only one choice. I will do that this week and upload it again. There will be a post when it's done.

I also finished the renders for scene 5. It's a smaller scene, like basically all the scenes up to scene 6.
I still have to see if I can start rendering scene 6 next week. Right now I'm just busy writing. My goal is to finish everything before the interim update. The interim update will be released as soon as the in-game day is over. At the moment I just finished writing scene 8, which is also a longer scene. There are still 3 to 6 scenes to write.

That way, I can proofread everything and adjust the renderings to fit. For example, the characters often "speak" the first distinctive letter of the sentence. I think that makes everything a little more lively.

Anyway, I'll probably be writing for another 2-4 weeks, just so you know, there might not be a progress report render. It depends on how well I can put myself in the story and the situation I am writing.
And now something else. I would like to show you two renders that are unspectacular, but took a long time before I was satisfied.

Who would have thought that eating spaghetti would be so difficult to render realistically?

MC rolls the spaghetti onto his fork.

MC raises his fork to put it in his mouth.

Notice his right hand. I took a fork myself, tried it out, and watched exactly how his right hand held the fork. I then tried to reproduce this in DAZ. On the 6th or 7th try it finally worked.
If you look closely at the progress report render, you will notice that Heather holds her fork differently than MC in the same situation. I found out that my girlfriend holds her fork differently when eating spaghetti. And so that not everything looks the same in the game, Heather also holds her fork differently than MC.

Well, that's a lot of text again. See you next time. Next week there will be a small vote until next Monday when another progress report is due.
See you,
~GTT

 

[Before I Forget]

You must be registered to see the links

"You eat quickly so that you still have some time to chat afterwards."

The latest survey on the progress report is pretty balanced: 57% are in favor, 43% are not. I'm planning to do it this way: slightly more spectacular renders, but never ones that give away too much of the story. That should be a good compromise that suits everyone.

So, let's talk about the game.

As you may have noticed, the language in Chapter 1 has been revised. The new version of the game was uploaded over the weekend. You gave feedback to remove the many choices with only one choice. I will do that this week and upload it again. There will be a post when it's done.

I also finished the renders for scene 5. It's a smaller scene, like basically all the scenes up to scene 6.
I still have to see if I can start rendering scene 6 next week. Right now I'm just busy writing. My goal is to finish everything before the interim update. The interim update will be released as soon as the in-game day is over. At the moment I just finished writing scene 8, which is also a longer scene. There are still 3 to 6 scenes to write.

That way, I can proofread everything and adjust the renderings to fit. For example, the characters often "speak" the first distinctive letter of the sentence. I think that makes everything a little more lively.

Anyway, I'll probably be writing for another 2-4 weeks, just so you know, there might not be a progress report render. It depends on how well I can put myself in the story and the situation I am writing.
And now something else. I would like to show you two renders that are unspectacular, but took a long time before I was satisfied.

Who would have thought that eating spaghetti would be so difficult to render realistically?

MC rolls the spaghetti onto his fork.

MC raises his fork to put it in his mouth.

Notice his right hand. I took a fork myself, tried it out, and watched exactly how his right hand held the fork. I then tried to reproduce this in DAZ. On the 6th or 7th try it finally worked.
If you look closely at the progress report render, you will notice that Heather holds her fork differently than MC in the same situation. I found out that my girlfriend holds her fork differently when eating spaghetti. And so that not everything looks the same in the game, Heather also holds her fork differently than MC.

Well, that's a lot of text again. See you next time. Next week there will be a small vote until next Monday when another progress report is due.
See you,
~GTT

Well, at least the "Jackhammer" dialogue is yeeted from the game. He still needs to work on his dialogue, kill the pointless choices and repetitive storytelling. He has cute models that could carry him they just need good storytelling to help them standout from other VNs.

 

[NebulousShooter]

Well, at least the "Jackhammer" dialogue is yeeted from the game. He still needs to work on his dialogue, kill the pointless choices and repetitive storytelling. He has cute models that could carry him they just need good storytelling to help them standout from other VNs.

Yeah, the talks about the girl's past have been removed, the 3rd girl, that I'm not sure many like, is confirmed a virgin and he said he will remove the single choices. More characters including milfs are in the plans, hopefully some variety of color in this aryan town

 

[R1k0]

Yeah, the talks about the girl's past have been removed, the 3rd girl, that I'm not sure many like, is confirmed a virgin and he said he will remove the single choices. More characters including milfs are in the plans, hopefully some variety of color in this aryan town

If you like MILFs, make a game about MILFs, if you try to please everyone you won't please anyone. I feel sorry for the developer, he seems like a nice guy and can make decent renders, but without a story that will hook you it's not interesting.

 

[FaceCrap]

from .1b back to .1a?

guess that describes the 'improvement'?