VN Ren'Py Naomi: Breaking the Queen Bee [Act 2 P1] [Saf-Tea]

[Saf-Tea]

Typo:
View attachment 4808227
Patty Hearst, not Heast.

Nice catch, thank you and corrected.

Possible Typo:
View attachment 4808240
ODD? Is that "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" or a typo for O.C.D? I'm still early in the game, so I'm guessing you meant O.D.D. (especially since Chapter I is titled Defiance), but just wanted to check since that isn't nearly as well known (in my experience.)

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is correct.

As for Stockholm Syndrome, people often leave out that the victims victims viewed their kidnappers as better than the police. It shouldn't be considered a psychological phenomena about trauma/incarceration, but rather a complete fuck-up by the authorities. "...

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" This is one of numerous cases of pop psychology getting the narrative all wrong. The

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invented the bystander effect (where bystanders do nothing) even though several bystanders intervened before her murder (which happened in an area where no one could see or hear.) I could go on.
However, this is one of those cases where the old adage, "Never Let the Truth Get in the Way of a Good Story" applies.

This is crazy interesting, thanks for the insight!

ETA. Damn, I wish more real teachers could afford a car like that:
View attachment 4808313
Luxury style, sporty style, convertible, and is that a Rolls Royce hood ornament?
Somebody is either from money or is somewhere they pay teachers an amazing amount!

Let's just say it's not the latter -wink wink-

 

[L7Bear]

Nice catch, thank you and corrected.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is correct.

This is crazy interesting, thanks for the insight!

Let's just say it's not the latter -wink wink-

Fascinating.
I have to assume that you have an above-average understanding of psychology, at least.
Now I'm even more interested.
I hope (and again, I'm still VERY early in your game) that the player will need to make choices to decide whether she becomes:

• option 1: an excellent student and her best self
• option 2: her captor's willing slave and private fucktoy
• option 3: a masochistic slut who makes herself available to anyone and everyone

Although, that's just my preferences. You're game is 100% your game and based on what little I've played so far, let's just say that I'm down for it.

 

[longjohngold]

I like the vibe of this, normally kinetic games struggle to hold my attention, but this was solid. Probably because I'm real into the mind break kinda stuff, so looking forward to seeing how her training develops. The titular character is hot, if overboobed, so is Lexi (hopefully she pops up again somehow).

Spoiler: Spelling

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[Saf-Tea]

I like the vibe of this, normally kinetic games struggle to hold my attention, but this was solid. Probably because I'm real into the mind break kinda stuff, so looking forward to seeing how her training develops. The titular character is hot, if overboobed, so is Lexi (hopefully she pops up again somehow).

Spoiler: Spelling

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Thanks for the spelling catch.
As for Lexi, she will certainly be key to the story, don't worry!

 

[PTPorts]

Unofficial android port: Naomi: Breaking the Queen Bee [Act 1]

Download:

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Spoiler: Features

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Spoiler: Saves location

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[Merlin-Magic]

Thanks for the spelling catch.
As for Lexi, she will certainly be key to the story, don't worry!

Just a heads up ... rehabilitation is misspelled everywhere in the game. You spelled it rehabiliation.
There are a few other minor errors other than those listed, such as ok is actually OK or okay. Not that important .
OK, another. Similiar is spelled similar.
A couple more minutes and I would find everything but I have run out of time .

 

[Saf-Tea]

Just a heads up ... rehabilitation is misspelled everywhere in the game. You spelled it rehabiliation.
There are a few other minor errors other than those listed, such as ok is actually OK or okay. Not that important .
OK, another. Similiar is spelled similar.
A couple more minutes and I would find everything but I have run out of time .

Oof, you'd think after reading through the script a dozen times and running a spell check that I'd catch everything but clearly not. I appreciate all the vigilant eyes. Writing them all down to be corrected in the next version.

 

[PsycCIX]

Amazing game!

 

[Billyjoebill]

Honestly this is one of the best games in this category that I've played thus far. Far too often the training process is too quick destroying any gratification or too long becoming grindy and losing any interesting qualities. Even if a game gets it right the can often flounder in forming compelling characters that fit with the scenarios they play out. Villains are too evil, and victims too innocent and you begin to feel bad. This is a perfect mixture so far, I'm looking forward to what comes next

 

[ShadowWarrior/]

Amazing start really well written, but I've got to ask why do the characters all have those glowy eyes that make them look like skyrim vampires?

 

[Saf-Tea]

Amazing start really well written, but I've got to ask why do the characters all have those glowy eyes that make them look like skyrim vampires?

Great question haha. Honest answer, I'm still kind of learning HS2 on the fly and couldn't quite figure out how to adjust the glow without losing a lot of the eye color. I decided I'd rather keep the vibrant eye colors over dull colors.

I ended up growing to like the glow to highlight the eyes, but hopefully it's not too distracting.

 

[SacredDark]

Game has great potential!

 

[Digital678]

Great game so far.

 

[fitty543]

you should purposely miss spell 1 word ...not enough to fail a spell check but it technically isnt "correct". whoever the first person to catch it gets like 2 months of top tier sub on patreon to you. that way everyone would have to read your game word for word. theres a good idea somewhere in here lol

 

[projenkostarlic]

Incredible. I can't wait for more.

 

[projenkostarlic]

Saf-Tea I know this is a longshot of a question since you just released this first act-

But if you had to put out a rough estimate for the next update, based on how long it took you to come up with the first act and your outline/plans for the next ones, do you have a time frame in mind? 2 months, 3months, N/A TBD?

I fully accept that there may be no good answer for this, esp since it's a passion project and so early on, but had to ask lol.

 

[Saf-Tea]

Saf-Tea I know this is a longshot of a question since you just released this first act-

But if you had to put out a rough estimate for the next update, based on how long it took you to come up with the first act and your outline/plans for the next ones, do you have a time frame in mind? 2 months, 3months, N/A TBD?

I fully accept that there may be no good answer for this, esp since it's a passion project and so early on, but had to ask lol.

Hey projenkostarlic, first off, it means so much to me to hear people excited for the next act so thank you for the complement!

To answer your question, I really wish I could give a decent answer but at this time, I don't. I've gotten a lot more efficient compared to Act 1, but Act 2 is probably double the length of Act 1.

What I can say is this, I am planning on assessing my progress after 3 months and am absolutely prepared to split Acts into parts in order to get content out at a decent rate. I've written the story in such a way that it has good, natural stopping points in-between Acts if needed. I'm an avid AVN reader myself, so I get the struggle of waiting for releases, and I'm hoping not to do that to my readers haha. I'll post more about it on Friday in my first dev log!

 

[Ahlysaaria]

Hey,

already alot of positive posts, but I just want to add my thoughts after playing the first release:

- I liked the way the setup etc. was handled. I kinda expected it to be alot slower, espescially how "nice" the MC was presenting himself in the beginning when talking to Lexi/the other teachers. So I was a bit suprised, in a positive way, when it actually jumped into the action very quickly. Kinda subverted my expectations. Despite that it still managed to introduce the important characters, the setting etc. enough for the reader to understand whats going on. Granted, it's not an elobarate/complicated setting but still. As short as it could be, as long as it needs to be.

- Theme/Story wise it hits my interests quite well and execution is quite good so far. Maybe the "training" went a little tooo fast for my taste, but thats debatable. Looking forward to the continuation nonetheless. I feel like was also quite alot of content for the first release, so that was nice as well.

- The art/graphics are decent, espescially for the first release - definitely have seen much worse. Of course there is still room for improvement compared to other, longer-running games, but thats learning by doing. For now, as I said, I think it's already quite decent so I'm looking forward to (hopefully) future improvements.
Regarding the glowing eyes: I was a little confused about it at first, but that mainly stems from the experience of other games, where the glowing eyes are usually used to indicate some sort of power or (demonic) presence. But after getting used to it I don't mind it. Might as well just eept it as an artistic choice?

- Only criticism I have so far is regarding the "Filthy" fetishes and the fact, that it is "All-or-Nothing."
To be fair, this mostly comes from my personal preferences, since I don't mind some of them but rather avoid the other ones and I understand, that trying to make it so you can choose which ones you enable and which ones not, is probably quite complicated. (Espescially in a first release). Still, that would be one change I'd like in a "perfect" world.

All in all a very good and promising first release and I'm certainly keeping my eye on this one!

 

[Saf-Tea]

I appreciate hearing your thoughts!

- Only criticism I have so far is regarding the "Filthy" fetishes and the fact, that it is "All-or-Nothing."
To be fair, this mostly comes from my personal preferences, since I don't mind some of them but rather avoid the other ones and I understand, that trying to make it so you can choose which ones you enable and which ones not, is probably quite complicated. (Espescially in a first release). Still, that would be one change I'd like in a "perfect" world.

I will be addressing this in the dev log on Friday, but I've heard this feedback from a few people so I already went ahead and separated out all the filth content. This will be included in Act 2's release, so people can keep watersports but turn off scat for example. Same as act 1, this will be toggleable at any time in the options menu

 

[Saf-Tea]

Hi All,

First Dev Log was just published on my itch.io page. You can see it here

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.

I won't be posting here every time I upload a dev log, so be sure to follow me on Itch if you are interested in seeing future updates!

As I mentioned in the previous post and just want to highlight again, I figured out how to separate the filthy fetishes in separate toggles. This will be implemented in the next update. Below is a snapshot of how it will look in the introduction screen and it will always be toggleable in the options menu. There will also be a pop up when a certain fetish is coming up or was skipped.


I can't promise I'll implement everyone's feedback/suggestions, but I'm always happy to read feedback and consider it!