I too just found this lovely little game. Or, not so little, I guess. What's there is already praiseworthy. I was a bit surprised by how the story unfolded.
There are two things I like about it:
- The exposure that is seemingly central to the game, the way it happens, and evolves when Claudia becomes more involved. I liked it all.
- And, the way the Lyanna/Claudia relationship comes about. At first, like with that first chapter and meeting, I had no idea that the clerk would be that involved in the story. But, slowly, and bit-by-bit, we get more of them. Their adventures, their play. I like it. I don't mind seeing that central relationship develop like that at all. From one kiss to the next, a couple of days later. It's pretty hot to see them come together.
As for the those girls playing with males... I could see that. Not really as in lovers, but maybe as playmates, maybe it starting with either Lyanna getting caught as she's out and about, and having to pay someone off with a blowjob or whatever. Or, to finish that though, by maybe the girls biring in someone for a threesome down the line. Two girls and the guy of their choice. I wouldn't mind that at all.
I had thought Claudia would tell a story of rape and stuff from her meeting with the boss. But, maybe that didn't happen? Or maybe it happened off-screen, but she's not about to tell anyone about what she might have done. I wouldn't mind that kind of white lie either. I think Claudia is a strong, hardy enough girl that she might be able to keep up a good front, even if there was a lot of that stuff done to her. But, then again, maybe it happened just like she said. Who knows.
I see a lot of grammar mistakes. It's a pretty linear story, so it wouldn't be hard to fix them all up, if DWR Games wanted me to do it. I'd offer to do that, if there's interest. The story's such that I wouldn't mind helping out proofing the work at all.
Umm, and there's not much more for me to say. I liked the renders, or how the story is depicted. Lyanna's a pretty kind of girl. I like that ages aren't mentioned so it's up to the player to guess what's what. I suggest leaving it that way. Last year of school or whatever, or whatever best fits. I think it still works if the girls are towards the high end of teen though, so I wouldn't change a thing, with how things are being told.
Well, I might end this on a high note. I really was impressed how this story developed. From her initial circumstances, leading to her experimenting with stripping down outside. I have read stories with such themes, so I'm happy to see a game based solely around that premise. Well done, dev. Keep up the good work, and the good story!
Edit: oh, and if you do want me to proof it, PM me and let me know? If someone else is doing it, then they might as well continue. But, I would like to help correct some of the grammar I've seen in it.
