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grahegri

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Feb 23, 2023
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NetorareGodNetoraseDevil-0.3b
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hakarlman

Engaged Member
Jul 30, 2017
2,135
3,352
Dude, you're an idiot. Writers mix first/second and third person all the time. You're fixating on the name of the character to the point of absurdity and ignoring that stories can have more than one perspective, even if it's focused mostly on the main character.
You ignored everything I said and just made stuff up.

The point I was making, which you ignored, is that the main protagonist should never know the thoughts of other characters unless, for example, he specifically has an ability that allows him to read minds. The point of view should be of the main protagonist ONLY, THAT'S IT. We're supposed to see the world through this main protagonist. You should not see the point of view of other characters unless it's through their mood by visual cues, body gestures, facial expressions, verbal dialogue, telepathy, mind reading, not just flat out know the exact words in their mind through narration.

Besies, you do realize throughout the entire scene that you're complaining about, the MC was completely clueless? Kinda like you actually, now that I think of it. If you were strictly limited to the MC, you might as well just skip the scene entirely and read two lines of text instead. Or skip the game and just use your imagination for what adventures she might be going on, cause MC sure as hell doesn't know at this point.
If the MC is clueless, then he can ask a simple question to the npc:

MC: "Bob, I'm not sure what to do, what are your thoughts?"
NPC Bob: "Since, you asked, here's what's on my mind. I believe its' wrong to pursue this course of action."

See how simple that was? lol

The above is better than the following:

Narration
Bob's Thoughts: ("MC doesn't know what he's doing, it's wrong to pursue this course of action")

The MC can just ask Bob what his thoughts are or Bob can just flat out tell the MC what he's thinking, get it?

The writing should not narrate the thoughts of NPC, that breaks immersion, unless the game is clearly multiple protagonist, but I don't see that tag for this game.
 
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Punkreas

Active Member
Aug 11, 2017
757
1,016
ill keep an eye on this and maybe even support on patreon, i like the new rebuild
 

fredoo04

Member
Jun 22, 2017
433
818
why support??
don't be a paypig
a lot of adult game devs do failed promise and sit on monthly cash. rehashing old content or taking months to do a good release.
Now that’s a poor advice. Indie game devs usually do this as a hobby because the money isn’t good enough to make a living. If more people supported them financially, they could spend all of their dedicated work hours towards developing the game. Then people like you would stop complaining about them being slow.
 
3.60 star(s) 28 Votes