I think the dialogue lost me on this update. With this dialogue, in this format, you were better off just writing a story and throwing it up on literotica. Nobody texts like that. Giving literal seconds at a time play-by-play. Its supposed to show their progression over texts updates, but you got Laura here memorizing and giving her life story in every text.
Id recommend condensing the wording if you want to stick with the texting format. Your dialogue and descriptions would be great in a literary format, but to imagine his girlfriend is literally texting her thoughts as they come through is unrealistic.