On the other side, I've heard authors say one of the best things to help one write better is having a person you can trust giving honest reviews. I would suggest PM some of the posters in this thread for that with later versions of your game. It can only help!
The advice I've been given from a professional writer is to have a "trustworthy reviewer" (I'm translating his words, no idea how to call it in engrish exactly).
What he meant by that, is someone with whom you have a very precise contract :
They tell you what they felt from your writing in the most honest way possible (because it's very important to have feedback to see if you managed to create the emotion you intended to).
But they are absolutely forbidden to give you any advice or critic.
Only how they felt.
It's generally a relative, a friend, a fellow writer or your editor.
After that, you are free to push the relation further and analyze together what went wrong (it is totally optional), and only at this phase can they give advises or share their opinion (optional too).