VN Ren'Py Abandoned Not Quite Dead [v0.2] [JumboCumbo]

4.50 star(s) 6 Votes

jasont123

Member
Aug 14, 2020
114
1,303
I'll indulge. Since there isn't much to go on so far, my prediction/analysis comes from the viewpoint of general storytelling and superhero tropes. You seem to treat the MC as literally invincible and overpowered. Well... he is, because he is the the "flying brick" of this universe. He is the Superman. In general, flying bricks are hard to work with, because they are fucking overpowered. To fight a flying brick, you need another flying brick or psychic powers. Think about who could even attempt to fight Superman. Maybe Wonder Woman. Perhaps Super Girl/Power Girl, Shazam, and others with similar abilities of super strength, super speed, super durability. Of course, we are omitting the truly balance breaking characters with things like reality warping and high level matter manipulation.

So other than matching him with similar physicality, the other vulnerability of these flying bricks is psychic/psionic/telepathic powers that affect their mind. Yes, if they could see him coming, mental powers could defeat superman. A non telepath using Willpower as a defense against mental attacks is essentially just handwaiving away the mechanics. For the record, I'm pretty sure it was mentioned that Charlotte can manipulate minds and not just limited to reading thoughts.

Getting back to this game, what we have to consider is the nature of the story. Will this be a safe romance story set in a superhero universe? Will this be a "for kids" power of friendship, good triumphs over evil story? Ok, then Avery and all the other girls will give MC their devoted love and battle against whatever is the true bad guy. The MC could be some good guy chad as a vehicle for self insert wish fulfillment. Seems rather boring if you ask me and kind of defeats the whole purpose of the MC going MIA in the set up.

On the other hand, will this be a gritty, cynical, and realistic take on the repercussions of super beings in our society? Then there are much more things to explore. Avery has been the top dog all this time when MC was absent. You can see that no other girl can do anything to her. This is why she can barge in and throw around invisible girl like a rag doll. Of course, she is going through all the things you are talking about emotionally in regards to the MC's shenanigans, but do you not think it's possible that she might have some subconscious issues from being dethroned as the top super? A small rift like that can grow and be the basis of a conflict. Now where this theoretical rift goes and how it is resolved is up to anyone's guess.

Stories need conflicts, especially when we're talking superheros. The dev did say that one of his inspiration was The Boys, which has an extremely cynical view of the world. Superheros can be assholes, selfish, vain, and just downright evil behind the facade. It's also not unheard of for good natured people to come into power and turn into dickheads.

It's honestly too early to tell the main themes of the story yet, so everything is just speculation. We probably need to see like 2 more updates to really grasp the nature of the plot. We have to wonder. Will this story be something like the cookie cutter MCU milking train? Will it be some cringy teen drama like Smallville? Or will it tackle heavier themes like The Boys, Invincible, and Jupiter's Legacy?
I like your superman comparison to the MC, it's very fitting for what we've seen so far. I don't believe he's actually fully invincible, but instead I mentioned that Avery said that the MC is invincible. We've yet to see just how invincible the MC is so it's probably a safer bet to say he's invulnerable to everything that's been thrown his way so far. We've just seen mention of him being "invincible" but to see to what extent that he can withstand attacks, the most we've seen is the MC being bullet proof and in regards to lifting an 18 wheeler, his body was durable enough to withstand all that weight with ease as was mentioned in the story. Robert also said to the MC at the park that there isn't anything the SCD can do to stop him so it hints that none of the supers can do anything to stop the MC. But I also think that we haven't seen the MC's powers enough to really know what he's capable of. Like superman he's super strong and can fly but it was also mentioned that he's a "living, breathing, nuclear bomb". We don't know what that means just yet, but comparing a nuclear bomb to Avery, I think power wise, the nuke is going to win. Hopefully in a few updates we see more of what this truly means in regards to the MCs power

I do agree that willpower is an easy way to explain if the MC can withstand any mental attacks, but I said that due to examples from other superhero fights where one person fights for control over their mind. But like I also mentioned, this is it's own story, and we don't know just how Charolette's powers truly work. Hopefully we get to not only see how JC tells us about Charolette's powers, but also going a bit more in depth with everyone else's since we've only seen the surface of what everyone can do.

With the direction the story can go, we really can't tell just yet. We know the MC has a gigantic problem with Fiona so I believe that she will be the main antagonist of the story, possibly we may also have the old guy at the strip club as another bad that the MC later fixes his focus on a few updates down the line. I don't think the story is headed in a Chad direction either since JC mentioned earlier "there won't be a lovey-dovey happy family ending with absolutely everyone!". The MC first will need to explain to the girls the reason that he let them believe he was dead for years. I can see a lot of conflict coming from that. I think the MC will have to work hard to get the girls on his side, especially Violet. The SCD turned her into a killing machine and it seems like she enjoys it too. Ultimately, the story can go any way. It's early in development and there's a lot of information that we've yet to see.

I can see the story having a take on the repercussions of having supers in society and JC has already shown a little bit of that so far. We see the man on TV who's running for president call Fiona a killer who uses the SCD to cover up everything. He also calls the supers freaks and abominations and said how when he's president, he will make sure the supers and Fiona see the justice they deserve. So we already see one side of the spectrum being society afraid/against supers. But we also see the opposite when Avery has her TV appearance where the crowd was all cheers for her. So I do see the way society looks at supers being factored into the story and I hope we see more of it since it brings a nice outside look in on how people feel. I do understand where you're coming from in regards to Avery being placed as the #2 super and that upsetting her. However, I see it this way... The MC had all his powers before he let everyone believe he was dead. So I assume this means that Avery also had all her powers at the time which meant all the supers know that the MC is the top dog. I don't see the MC wanting to be in the public view much and I use him laying low for years as an example. If he wanted the public to know that he's the most powerful person in the world, he would've done that already. I personally don't see the MC being someone who want's the spotlight to shine on him, if he did, I don't believe he would've faked his death but instead, flew right to the biggest news agency in the world and get on the morning news and spill every detail the SCD is withholding from the public. In the park talking to Robert, the MC said how he wanted to live a normal life, maybe get married and have kids, and when Rob asks if he plans to hide his powers for the rest of his life he said "I guess so". The MC was pissed off when the news got the video of him as now everyone knows theres another super out there in the world and that seems to be the polar opposite of what he wants. I think that like the MC said, he would've been completely fine with no one knowing his secrete and instead act like just another person on the sidewalk.

I haven't watched The Boys but since you mentioned it I watched the trailer and now I understand what you mean by that. We can see a bit of this in effect in regards to Violet. She has basically been turned into a killer who we see kill 2 people. One killed in cold blood and the other killed since he didn't stop rambling so I do see Violet being someone that the MC has a hard time getting through to. I also doubt he agrees with her killing either. Just a few years ago she was just a normal girl and then the anomaly happens and she becomes a trained assassin basically or as described in the story, a ninja. I can see this being a conflict since we saw the MCs reaction when he broke he guards back so I highly doubt he's going to be happy with her killing people with no remorse. I can see Violet needing a gigantic wake up call for her to ditch her killer persona.

You're right, it's way too early in development to really have a firm grasp on how the story will play out. I think JC has set it up very well so far as there's so many different directions that the story can turn to. I personally see the story playing out with a more serious plot development. Something extremely bad had to happen for the MC to allow his girlfriend and friends believe he was dead for years. We see a flashback at the end of the update with the MC with blood all over him and what looks to be something destroyed behind him. We don't know whose blood is on the MC and based on what we know of the MCs durability, it most likely isn't his. Fiona tells him she made him stronger and he replies that she made him into a monster and his eyes are glowing which I see as a manifestation of his power. The scene reminds me of Kratos in God of War when he becomes the Ghost of Sparta. I think once we find out more about that scene and how he let them believe he faked his death, that's when we will be able to narrow down our speculations into something more factual. Either way, the story is great and I look forward to what JC has in store for us.

Props to you for the big reply 1637033619548.png
 

LGM

Active Member
Nov 22, 2018
610
697
Not bad so far. Certainly intriguing. Looking forward to seeing more.
Though it could use a bit of a proofread. A few mistakes I've noticed were: "recieve" -> "receive", "deja-vous" -> "deja-vu", and most prominently "i" -> "I". Nothing too terrible, but I figured I'd say something...
 
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sLee13

New Member
Aug 8, 2020
10
9
Really looking forward for what is next to come with this one. Enjoying the story and the renders are really nice.
 

deku12

Newbie
Jun 13, 2021
49
60
I like how the game is going, with the flashbacks and how it builds the story. Looking forward for what will happen with the group of characters.
 

JumboCumbo

Newbie
Game Developer
Feb 10, 2020
40
296
Okay, since it's been a month, I thought I would update you on how 0.3 is going, some of the planned features, my personal goals for 0.3 (and future releases) as well as provide some teasers!

I'll start with how development is currently going: I've written a good chunk of the script but a busy November has been holding back the renders I wanted to achieve. I was ill for a couple weeks and was sleeping 13 hours a day and the rest I was in bed so I didn't manage to get much done art-wise at all. I have however planned every major sequence of 0.3, of which there are quite a few. I'm sure you guys will love some of the story beats this update! I want 0.3 to be significantly longer than the previous two updates. Previously I have tried to find a good place to finish up the update around the 300 render mark. I'd like 0.3 to be at least 500 renders (and I won't stop until it reaches at least this number), However I'm aiming for significantly more, it all depends on the script and what scenes I feel need a certain number of renders.

Planned Features: I want 0.3 to be more than just a continuation of the story, I'm going to add a codex of characters and maybe a codex of other lore related stuff as well. I'll also be overhauling all the GUI art before the next update to make the game more initially appealing to you guys rather than having some cruddy, badly rendered picture of the girls sitting at a table as the title image.

As for my personal goals: I really, really want to get better with Daz, I'll be the first to admit that my rendering skills are not where I want them to be. To change this I've been producing many more standalone art(ish) pieces and have been posting them across various discords (I'll start posting them on the NQD discord I promise!). I feel that my rendering ability has come a fair distance from when I started earlier this year.

Release: I can't give away any details until really late in the process, because frankly, even I don't know how long this is gonna take. I'm definitely gonna have it out way sooner than the gap between the last 2 updates, which was unacceptable and super annoying. However I can't promise any set timescale as life gets in the way and this game has to take a backfoot in situations like that.

Alright, boring bit done, here are some teasers for 0.3!:


BankCon.png

HangBeforePlane1_Camera.png

(Not the most exciting I know, but I'm still early in the process)

As a final word: Thank you guys so much for all your support and patience, It means loads to me and reading you guys' suggestions, reviews, theories and even criticism make my day and ultimately help the game in the long run.

Thanks
~JC
 

HogRocket

Engaged Member
Jun 8, 2020
2,401
12,230
Okay, since it's been a month, I thought I would update you on how 0.3 is going, some of the planned features, my personal goals for 0.3 (and future releases) as well as provide some teasers!

I'll start with how development is currently going: I've written a good chunk of the script but a busy November has been holding back the renders I wanted to achieve. I was ill for a couple weeks and was sleeping 13 hours a day and the rest I was in bed so I didn't manage to get much done art-wise at all. I have however planned every major sequence of 0.3, of which there are quite a few. I'm sure you guys will love some of the story beats this update! I want 0.3 to be significantly longer than the previous two updates. Previously I have tried to find a good place to finish up the update around the 300 render mark. I'd like 0.3 to be at least 500 renders (and I won't stop until it reaches at least this number), However I'm aiming for significantly more, it all depends on the script and what scenes I feel need a certain number of renders.

Planned Features: I want 0.3 to be more than just a continuation of the story, I'm going to add a codex of characters and maybe a codex of other lore related stuff as well. I'll also be overhauling all the GUI art before the next update to make the game more initially appealing to you guys rather than having some cruddy, badly rendered picture of the girls sitting at a table as the title image.

As for my personal goals: I really, really want to get better with Daz, I'll be the first to admit that my rendering skills are not where I want them to be. To change this I've been producing many more standalone art(ish) pieces and have been posting them across various discords (I'll start posting them on the NQD discord I promise!). I feel that my rendering ability has come a fair distance from when I started earlier this year.

Release: I can't give away any details until really late in the process, because frankly, even I don't know how long this is gonna take. I'm definitely gonna have it out way sooner than the gap between the last 2 updates, which was unacceptable and super annoying. However I can't promise any set timescale as life gets in the way and this game has to take a backfoot in situations like that.

Alright, boring bit done, here are some teasers for 0.3!:


View attachment 1525970

View attachment 1525972

(Not the most exciting I know, but I'm still early in the process)

As a final word: Thank you guys so much for all your support and patience, It means loads to me and reading you guys' suggestions, reviews, theories and even criticism make my day and ultimately help the game in the long run.

Thanks
~JC
Thanks for the update!
 

shamtiiomi

Well-Known Member
May 1, 2021
1,467
1,267
JumboCumbo first of all pretty goood game ood storytelling and nice renders ofc there is room for dev but they are pretty neati would say ,.foir me after playing the game again there is some obvious plot over here at least for me but i hope htere is not heavy fendom kingdom in the game bcs woul ruin it ,but seeing all the renders scenes and plot till now i would say i see some kind of fendomish style MC Vs Supers that OH MY god are alll woman, so for me unless you developed something different here and not talking about that crappy superheroish THE BOYS] sometimes the simple plot at the begginning work fine till you can cath up story with graphics. on the other hand i dont like the mc hiding all the time bcs [i dont think he is afraid] is more like he is caring too much and i cant understand that bcs again the plot is after 3 years he in hiding he go mia and dot like dont care about the others bcs they are using them of selfish purpose so no i dont thinj he needs to hide anymore and need to go in full throtlle if he is so [overpoered or invincible i believe he can go vs all and win easily but he is caring too much[alot for my like ]
 

JumboCumbo

Newbie
Game Developer
Feb 10, 2020
40
296
Hey Guys,

*WARNING: Classic Dev excuses incoming*
So it's been a tricky few months, I didn't get much done over Christmas, because no-one ever does, the only think I achieved was adding a couple inches to my waistline. And January wasn't much better, I started at a new job which completely drained me of all my energy and the precious free time I have after work and on the weekends, I usually end up squandering on superficial shit (Mazlow would be disappointed). But in relation to the game, this means that not much has gotten done render wise. I've planned out the episodes story completely and written all the major story beats but producing art for the game is super time consuming, especially with my current schedule. I'm gonna carve out some time to work on it solidly as we head into spring, but I still want this update to be bigger than the previous two combined, so it'll take some time. As for some general info about the story of 0.3, It's gonna ramp up a bit, with more action scenes rather than just talk, mostly because they're my favourite to create, I also love experimenting with power effects, one of my favourite renders so far was the Avery laser eyes one in the shower.

But otherwise I hope you're all doing well and once again thank you for all of your compliments and kind words, as well as the constructive criticism!

Thanks
~JC
 

UncleFredo

Well-Known Member
Aug 29, 2020
1,938
3,666
Hey Guys,

*WARNING: Classic Dev excuses incoming*
So it's been a tricky few months, I didn't get much done over Christmas, because no-one ever does, the only think I achieved was adding a couple inches to my waistline. And January wasn't much better, I started at a new job which completely drained me of all my energy and the precious free time I have after work and on the weekends, I usually end up squandering on superficial shit (Mazlow would be disappointed). But in relation to the game, this means that not much has gotten done render wise. I've planned out the episodes story completely and written all the major story beats but producing art for the game is super time consuming, especially with my current schedule. I'm gonna carve out some time to work on it solidly as we head into spring, but I still want this update to be bigger than the previous two combined, so it'll take some time. As for some general info about the story of 0.3, It's gonna ramp up a bit, with more action scenes rather than just talk, mostly because they're my favourite to create, I also love experimenting with power effects, one of my favourite renders so far was the Avery laser eyes one in the shower.

But otherwise I hope you're all doing well and once again thank you for all of your compliments and kind words, as well as the constructive criticism!

Thanks
~JC
Life happens. I really enjoy your VN, but it doesn't pay your bills. Focus on real life. Those of us who value your VN will be here when you can get back to it. Thank you for your commitment and your transparency. Very much appreciated.
 

HogRocket

Engaged Member
Jun 8, 2020
2,401
12,230
Hey Guys,

*WARNING: Classic Dev excuses incoming*
So it's been a tricky few months, I didn't get much done over Christmas, because no-one ever does, the only think I achieved was adding a couple inches to my waistline. And January wasn't much better, I started at a new job which completely drained me of all my energy and the precious free time I have after work and on the weekends, I usually end up squandering on superficial shit (Mazlow would be disappointed). But in relation to the game, this means that not much has gotten done render wise. I've planned out the episodes story completely and written all the major story beats but producing art for the game is super time consuming, especially with my current schedule. I'm gonna carve out some time to work on it solidly as we head into spring, but I still want this update to be bigger than the previous two combined, so it'll take some time. As for some general info about the story of 0.3, It's gonna ramp up a bit, with more action scenes rather than just talk, mostly because they're my favourite to create, I also love experimenting with power effects, one of my favourite renders so far was the Avery laser eyes one in the shower.

But otherwise I hope you're all doing well and once again thank you for all of your compliments and kind words, as well as the constructive criticism!

Thanks
~JC
Nope. Sorry. "Classic Dev excuses" not accepted here. You're fired.

:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Welcome back, you're getting back in the groove after Christmas faster than I am ;):cool::ROFLMAO:
 
Jan 2, 2022
241
277
So, only oral and teasing?
No vaginal or anal?
Sounds like a good start, but I need a more matured story and plenty of vaginal creampies + anal.
 
4.50 star(s) 6 Votes