We can all agree that a good NTR needs some kind of balance between realism and fantasy.
Personally I prefer more realism in NTR books/stories. Can I get it every time? No, but it's fine. We don't need to have these kind of conversation every time Cleanfeel complains about "unrealistic women in NTR games"
Realism can be very boring when it tries too hard imo. For example ntr through raping the girl until she becomes evil/corrupted is something I like, but it's not realistic at all, or oblivious mc, which is something I also like, or harem ntr, or "unlimited stamina dude", etc, many situations in ntr (and in hentai, or even generally stories) aren't realistic at all, and
that's why they're fun.
Kill Bill or John Wick aren't very realistic, and guess what, they're still a ton of fun to watch.
What is important is
internal consistency: a character needs to have a consistent personality and change related to their personality, the universe must be minimally cohesive, stuff needs to happen because it's ok in universe, etc...
Basically, you can stretch your suspension of disbelief in anything as long as it makes sense, and the quality of writing is somewhat there.
Of course some people can prefer more "realistic" stories, but that's personal preference, not some kind of universal rule, and there is a limit to that anyway lol. Full realism : she's cheating on the mc, they get a divorce, and now you play 3h of a legal procedures game to see who will keep the house, the cat and the kids, then 3 more hours of everyone being depressed and becoming an alcoholic.
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new trial from the "Deceived by the host" (iir the name correctly) devs. Playable stuff is ~1 hour according to the dev
I honestly wish he made a tsundere/strong willed character again, they're the best in ntr corruption.
Real talk, devs need to be up front with any fetish and tags they have in their game. Though the problem actually comes when everyone has a different perception of what they classify as NTR. Like does the FMC flirting with another character and being emotionally stolen (but not sexually) count as NTR? Tags like Anal and Footjob are much easier to identify for everyone.
That's the main thing: for some people, if the female character, a mother of 2, isn't a virgin, it's ntr...
Though more seriously, people add the ntr tags even if said "ntr" is basically the female character being raped by some goblin in a bad ending after losing to a boss. A few years back this would have literally been a "bad ending with rape" and that's it, but nowadays since ntr is a meme everything is ntr.
And that's how you get games being tagged as ntr while they actually aren't.
It's annoying for people into ntr, and it's a loss for people not into ntr because most sane people wouldn't see a random bad ending making the game an ntr game.
That's the main problems with tags: how autistically precise do you need to be, interpreting it literally, vs the "spirit of the law" where games with significant portions being ntr are labelled, while "random ending 45748 where girl is raped then killed" isn't.
Edit: As for why we might feel attacked, I have had multiple instances of people directly disliking me and going out of their way to cause me trouble just because I post NTR content. It isn't limited to just me as a NTR writer/dev, others have too. It is hard to notice if you are never on the receiving end of NTR-phobia. Just one example: I had someone with netorphobia from f95zone make an account on Webnovel (a platform where I used to write) to purely leave a bad review.
It's funny because I see that a lot : apparently for the anti ntr crowd, people into ntr are some kind of evil group who harasses devs and artists, send them death threats to get ntr in the story.
And while I'm sure there are actual nutjobs into ntr out there (they exist in every fetish after all), I never ever seen that happen. Meanwhile, I've seen enough ntr stories over the years to see how some people react insanely bad to it, and do exactly that,
ie sending threats, shitting on the threads about ntr games, etc.
And it's a recent developement too, as no one cared before, it was just like any other fetish you avoided if you didn't like.