VN Ren'Py Odyssey [v0.1] [Dragoon5k]

[Saint Blackmoor]

New to you Overview:
In Odyssey, you are an 18-year-old young man who has to fight day after day to earn a living.
Your parents died 2 years ago, and you have been alone since then.
One day, you receive an invitation to live with an aunt you've never met and her two daughters.
Your Aunt then informs you that your parents might still be alive.
You are about to embark on a journey of discovery. Whether for better or worse, the truth must be revealed.
​

The Overview was a bit dry, so I hydrated it. Use it if you like.

The game looks interesting. Thanks for the share.


Post Play: Ugg... the Engrish is heavy in this one. Proofreader needed.

 

[Dreezky]

your unknown aunt,
and that she wants you to move in with her and her 2 daughters

Here we go again

 

[vs2011xyz]

Android APK PLS.

 

[onefingersalute]

hmmm will have to check this out maybe it will be good

 

[DHacker_X]

Well it starts with a bang...

 

[MCawg]

I've been looking for some good content with that female model in the previews, she has been hard to find in much. I am excited to check this one out.

 

[UnoriginalUserName]

Me : "Oh nice, "Tara" is a love interest! Gotta check this one out."

*Finds out it's a dream sequence about an actress the MC saw in a movie*

Me : "I see. Well, only one thing to do with this then."

 

[duckydoodoo]

Why do people think that just because they can render a few scenes on their pc they can write a VN? It is called subtext! I swear this demo or whatever reads like a toddler explaining a funny dream they had, disjointed, confusing and lacking any finesse. Personally if given the choice id choose listening to the toddler. Shit maybe the dev knows someone with a toddler they can hire to write a story, then they can just render some shit up to go along with it.(okay a lil mean, was meant to be more funny but im gonna leave it)

The only time subtext was used at all was the lawyer and aunt eluded to the dissapearance of the MC's parents is potentially harmful to the MC. This was done when lawyer stated they had issues in tracking MC down, the fact that they only started to track him down once the parents when missing, and the conversation on the phone of keeping MC safe on his journey to the aunt. So someone involved does understand subtext in some manner, yet, umm well idk we got this instead.

The sad thing is, with just a little polish in the writing, I probably would have looked forward to what comes next. Even without all the missing things like character development and so forth.

 

[Old Man Al]

First, not again that "aunt invites MC over to live with his cousins" again... at least the end (which came way to early) suggests there is some strange twist with other dimensions or whatever going on.

Second, this is short. The only scene with some pussy you see is a wet dream, right at the start. Don't want to generalize here, but VNs that start out with this cheap "trick" are most often lacking in all other fields. Yeah, you can craft decent pussy, good - but is there more substance here?
It is short even for a first release, takes maybe 10 minutes.

No choices - yet (I hope).

Renders are ok, nothing to write home about - maybe sightly better than average. Not a fan of the model in the wet dream. All other characters shown are male until now, I guess Speed is female but she is clothed in way that doesn't really show much.

Music: none. But still better than generic shit you turn off anyways.


Also the english is a bit mangled. Mostly with whom the sentence is refering to. Some examples:

Jhonatan: "She's been trying to find here parents for the past day" 1. he is refering to the MCs parents and also 2. "for the past day"?

Jhonatan: "But there were substancs that didn't allow us to reach you sooner." - what? substances? Even google translate can make sense of that.

Jhonatan: "Since I've never heard of you before" when he means the MC has never heard before of the aunt.

Woman on the phone (Talking with Jhonatan): "I can't wait to see you" - Feels like she can't wait to see the MC, not big old J.

Women on the phone (talking with Jhonatan): "Don't let anything happen to you" - I think this talk was supposed to be between MC and the aunt (w.o.t.p.) and not between J. and the aunt. My guess would be the renders/scene were/was changed and the text was not.

There isn't much there yet. I would say there is potential, but maybe wait 2 or 3 updates (if they are all this "length") to find out if this is for you.