VN Ren'Py One Day at a Time [Ch. 18c] [Zoey Raven]

[Firehelp]

In the last "I don't even know how many" years (maybe like 10?), there was only once I genuinely cried out of sadness. I mean like straight up waterfalls out of my eyes for like a few minutes straight. And when was that? You guessed it, I was reading through Leap of Faith. That's cool and all, but what does it have to do with this story?

This story is even more sad than Leap of Faith. This story is like sadness incarnate. Mind you, I abandoned this at the start of CH2, so I have only a general idea of what's happening here.

Why would anyone do this to themselves WILLINGLY? (it's a rhetorical question, I actually know the answer) I mean there are so many drugs or whatever to choose from... just choose something that doesn't fuck up your life completely. Like fucking heroin. It's really not that difficult, is it?

No, don't reply to me; I just needed to vent.

 

[Zoey Raven]

In the last "I don't even know how many" years (maybe like 10?), there was only once I genuinely cried out of sadness. I mean like straight up waterfalls out of my eyes for like a few minutes straight. And when was that? You guessed it, I was reading through Leap of Faith. That's cool and all, but what does it have to do with this story?

This story is even more sad than Leap of Faith. This story is like sadness incarnate. Mind you, I abandoned this at the start of CH2, so I have only a general idea of what's happening here.

Why would anyone do this to themselves WILLINGLY? (it's a rhetorical question, I actually know the answer) I mean there are so many drugs or whatever to choose from... just choose something that doesn't fuck up your life completely. Like fucking heroin. It's really not that difficult, is it?

No, don't reply to me; I just needed to vent.

You didn't play long enough to know what this story is all about. It's about them getting better and what you don't see on the news. Yes, I had to make it real to start with, so that people could see what it's like and how amazing it is for a person to come out of something like this and lead a productive health life, that's about helping others.

As we say in the recovery rooms "you didn't stay around long enough to see the miracle happen". And, you'd have to be an addict to understand why someone would truly do that to themselves. I appreciate you giving it a go, though.

Also, to answer your other question, people don't start out shooting dope, it's something the progression of the disease takes some to.

 

[Firehelp]

You didn't play long enough to know what this story is all about. It's about them getting better and what you don't see on the news. Yes, I had to make it real to start with, so that people could see what it's like and how amazing it is for a person to come out of something like this a lead a productive health life, that's about helping others.

As we say in the recovery rooms "you didn't stay around long enough to see the miracle happen". And, you'd have to be an addict to understand why someone would truly do that to themselves. I appreciate you giving it a go, though.

Also, to answer your other question, people don't start out shooting dope, it's something the progression of the disease takes some to.

I meant what I said. That I just wanted to vent, not start a conversation. However, since we are already there... (I'm not mad BTW)

I can guess what the story is about. You get out of that hell after many, many days. Don't wanna go through the experience though. I had already known, what heroin addiction (I refuse to call it dope) can do to people, before I started this. I've seen documentaries or some such, that was enough for me.

I also know, why someone would do this. You know nothing about me, but I know how desperate people can get to find anything, that makes it worth living. Personally, rather than heroin, I'd just end it then and there (KYS). But hey, to each their own I guess.

"lead a productive health life, that's about helping others" - Now, that's such a nice and positive way of looking at it. But, what does that actually mean? In this human society? In this world? Do you truly believe those words? I call BS on that. Have you seen what humans do to this planet? How they wipe out whole species in the name of profit? How there are millions/billoins suffering while some rich guy just sits on billions/trillions of [currency]? I can 100% guarantee you, if you were to ask Putin, why did he start his stupid war with Ukraine, he would say something like: "to make a positive change for humankind". I am sorry, but you are an ex heroin addict. You can take the reality, I don't have to hold myself back with you.

Don't get me wrong, I understand there still are a few good people. Except we are in the minority, with no actual meaningful way to do something about this shitty world. So, yes, I understand why someone would take heroin. To forget all this shit. And if you deep down inside still have that flicker of hope for humans, I won't be the one to quench it. Because even though I personally believe there is no real hope for humanity, I do belive there is still hope for life itself. Some other species will come after humans, and maybe they will be better than humanity. That's the hope I have.

Also, "to see the miracle happen" - miracle implies some form of higher power aiding in that. That's not what's going on. It's just blood, sweat and tears. No miracles. (I know you didn't mean it literally, still...)

Keep fighting the good fight, never give up. As long as at least one paladin is standing and fighting, the darkness has not won. Not yet.

 

[bacienvu88]

This story is even more sad than Leap of Faith. This story is like sadness incarnate. Mind you, I abandoned this at the start of CH2, so I have only a general idea of what's happening here.

To me hope and community describes One day at a time more than sad. Despite there being quite a lot of sad moments.

 

[Firehelp]

To me hope and community describes One day at a time more than sad. Despite there being quite a lot of sad moments.

I remember having hope for humans, I do.

 

[Kassan06969]

They never even hit the point of "really bad" - ie homeless, prostitution, prison, death before starting recovery. And even people who DO hit that level can recover (except for death, obviously.)

 

[bacienvu88]

They never even hit the point of "really bad" - ie homeless, prostitution, prison, death before starting recovery. And even people who DO hit that level can recover (except for death, obviously.)

To be fair, MC has been to prison multiple times before the story starts. And done cold turkey multiple times. So their lowest point (for Lydia and MC at least) was in the past. In the story start they are just getting to the point where they are effing tired of it all.

 

[Kassan06969]

To be fair, MC has been to prison multiple times before the story starts. And done cold turkey multiple times. So their lowest point (for Lydia and MC at least) was in the past. In the story start they are just getting to the point where they are effing tired of it all.

County lockup, not actual prison.

 

[Zoey Raven]

County lockup, not actual prison.

Yea, that's right just jail. Actually a part of this next update will shed a little more light on MC's past history with jail and stuff. It's subtle, but it's there.

 

[Zoey Raven]

I meant what I said. That I just wanted to vent, not start a conversation. However, since we are already there... (I'm not mad BTW)

I can guess what the story is about. You get out of that hell after many, many days. Don't wanna go through the experience though. I had already known, what heroin addiction (I refuse to call it dope) can do to people, before I started this. I've seen documentaries or some such, that was enough for me.

I also know, why someone would do this. You know nothing about me, but I know how desperate people can get to find anything, that makes it worth living. Personally, rather than heroin, I'd just end it then and there (KYS). But hey, to each their own I guess.

"lead a productive health life, that's about helping others" - Now, that's such a nice and positive way of looking at it. But, what does that actually mean? In this human society? In this world? Do you truly believe those words? I call BS on that. Have you seen what humans do to this planet? How they wipe out whole species in the name of profit? How there are millions/billoins suffering while some rich guy just sits on billions/trillions of [currency]? I can 100% guarantee you, if you were to ask Putin, why did he start his stupid war with Ukraine, he would say something like: "to make a positive change for humankind". I am sorry, but you are an ex heroin addict. You can take the reality, I don't have to hold myself back with you.

Don't get me wrong, I understand there still are a few good people. Except we are in the minority, with no actual meaningful way to do something about this shitty world. So, yes, I understand why someone would take heroin. To forget all this shit. And if you deep down inside still have that flicker of hope for humans, I won't be the one to quench it. Because even though I personally believe there is no real hope for humanity, I do belive there is still hope for life itself. Some other species will come after humans, and maybe they will be better than humanity. That's the hope I have.

Also, "to see the miracle happen" - miracle implies some form of higher power aiding in that. That's not what's going on. It's just blood, sweat and tears. No miracles. (I know you didn't mean it literally, still...)

Keep fighting the good fight, never give up. As long as at least one paladin is standing and fighting, the darkness has not won. Not yet.

First of all, wasn't making any judgements about you. I just wasn't assuming anything either about your knowledge of drug addicts.

A happy productive life means, when you get sober, your life truly becomes about helping others. I can't describe the feeling of what it's like to see someone come in at rock bottom, going up and talking to them, and empathizing. Then, seeing them do the same thing for someone else six months or a year later.

I'm not saying addicts are special and I don't want this to come off like that, but we have to make our main concern in life helping others in order to stay sober, and in my opinion that's the best kinda life one can lead. That's why I see so many people start their stories at meetings with Hi, I'm XXXX, a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic (whatever they are), and they mean it. Because they wouldn't have found their best life if it wasn't for being an addict or the program.

This has also been my experience. Are there shitty people in the world, sure. Are there terrible things in the world, yes. But, I don't view that stuff through a cynical lens anymore, because it only succeeds in making me miserable. Also, I can't concern myself with the actions of others, I can stand up against them, I can make my voice heard, but at the end of the day, I can only control my own actions. I also believe a lot of the way I view the world has to do with the people I surround myself with, and how much outside noise I let in. If I watch the news all day, I'm gonna hate the world. I instead choose to read and stay informed that way most of the time. Evil and hate has and always will exist, but so does love and compassion.

Anyway, I was just trying to explain what the game was and wasn't. Again, glad you gave it a shot, and I respect the fact you didn't want to continue.

 

[Zoey Raven]

A palette cleanser. Needed a break from polishing.

 

[Kassan06969]

I worked in treatment and saw how things usually went - coming back twice and fucking up again, or reading their name in the police log where they did something bad and went upsate or where they OD'd - especially once that damn fentanyl started. I wish more addicts went the route the characters here did than going the wrong way. We had a few chronic relapsers. We wouldn't take them past a 3rd time. I think by then they needed something more intense, but too many were there only because someone else, usually the law, wanted them there and they really didn't want to stop. Back in the early 2000s we had one who when asked to draw what he hoped for the future drew himself with Jennifer Lopez drinking a 40 oz beer. That pissed off the clinical director who sent him from halfway house back to inpatient D&A. Pretty sure she wouldn't have been interested in him. It sucks when someone gets the opportunity but isn't interested.
My GF is friends with a girl who used to deal and use heroin but she stopped years ago after a prison sentence (she met her online - GF never used more than marijuana) She drinks though and I know that's a red flag. She also broke up - her BF relapsed a few times and was abusive. My GF never had any idea.

 

[Kassan06969]

A palette cleanser. Needed a break from polishing.



View attachment 2422285

Who's this cutie?

 

[Zoey Raven]

I worked in treatment and saw how things usually went - coming back twice and fucking up again, or reading their name in the police log where they did something bad and went upsate or where they OD'd - especially once that damn fentanyl started. I wish more addicts went the route the characters here did than going the wrong way. We had a few chronic relapsers. We wouldn't take them past a 3rd time. I think by then they needed something more intense, but too many were there only because someone else, usually the law, wanted them there and they really didn't want to stop. Back in the early 2000s we had one who when asked to draw what he hoped for the future drew himself with Jennifer Lopez drinking a 40 oz beer. That pissed off the clinical director who sent him from halfway house back to inpatient D&A. Pretty sure she wouldn't have been interested in him. It sucks when someone gets the opportunity but isn't interested.
My GF is friends with a girl who used to deal and use heroin but she stopped years ago after a prison sentence (she met her online - GF never used more than marijuana) She drinks though and I know that's a red flag. She also broke up - her BF relapsed a few times and was abusive. My GF never had any idea.

Not many do like you say, but that's why I made the game. Because some do make it. Yea fentanyl is the devil.

The cutie is just a model I had, and have never used. Too late to put more girls in the game. I actually have an idea about a 1 off sexual encounter with someone from MC's and another characters past, but not sure if I'm gonna put it in or not.

 

[Kassan06969]

Not many do like you say, but that's why I made the game. Because some do make it. Yea fentanyl is the devil.

The cutie is just a model I had, and have never used. Too late to put more girls in the game. I actually have an idea about a 1 off sexual encounter with someone from MC's and another characters past, but not sure if I'm gonna put it in or not.

Fentanyl AND heroin are really bad. Again, if someone doesn't want it they won't make it until they want it. And as the game shows even many years later someone can fuck up and end up dying. When someone is there by court if they aren't interested in help it's no good unless they change their mind. Sometimes a month or so in jail can change someone's mind, but it has to be more than that. They need to really want change. I saw that - a girl who was seriously into heroin decided to stop and got her certification in welding and made good money after stopping. Another who didn't want to stop went from being a 36 year old prostitute to being a 50+ year old prostitute who her daughter wouldn't let her see her granddaughter. I saw guys who were wiseassess avoiding working the program to do what they wanted to do later dying by OD. When they don't want to get better they don't.

 

[Zoey Raven]

Fentanyl AND heroin are really bad. Again, if someone doesn't want it they won't make it until they want it. And as the game shows even many years later someone can fuck up and end up dying. When someone is there by court if they aren't interested in help it's no good unless they change their mind. Sometimes a month or so in jail can change someone's mind, but it has to be more than that. They need to really want change. I saw that - a girl who was seriously into heroin decided to stop and got her certification in welding and made good money after stopping. Another who didn't want to stop went from being a 36 year old prostitute to being a 50+ year old prostitute who her daughter wouldn't let her see her granddaughter. I saw guys who were wiseassess avoiding working the program to do what they wanted to do later dying by OD. When they don't want to get better they don't.

Yes, that's step zero. Wanting it. It's as simple as that.

You'll hear on movies and TV shows, " admitting you have the problem is the first step". No, wanting to do something about the problem is the first step. I knew I was mess years before I stepped into a meeting.

 

[spencerkimfaxg]

A palette cleanser. Needed a break from polishing.

Wow!

 

[bacienvu88]

You'll hear on movies and TV shows, " admitting you have the problem is the first step". No, wanting to do something about the problem is the first step. I knew I was mess years before I stepped into a meeting.

I don't know what I'm talking about, but isn't that more about alcoholics? Because it is much easier to live in denial about being an alcoholic.

 

[Zoey Raven]

I don't know what I'm talking about, but isn't that more about alcoholics? Because it is much easier to live in denial about being an alcoholic.

Umm, depends on what level of alcoholism really. Ultimately though, it's the individual's responsibility to say they are an addict/alcoholic. You'll hear full blown junkies say they're just chippers (meaning they could stop when they wanted, but 99% of people who say that are full of shit).

So yea, it swings both ways. If you're drinking a 5th of JD a day, you're probably an alcoholic, but again, it doesn't matter if someone else says it, it's only once the person decides they are. Because, then it becomes hard to deny there's help.

We play all kinds of mind games to keep on using for as long as we want, but one day (for some and for me) it's like... "Yea, I'm sick of doing this, I know there's a different way to go."

 

[Tremonia]

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Sorry, Zoey Raven, but I can't help myself. The world has to see this cutie who sits on Lydia's bench. I don't know at the moment who Maria is but I admire her now. Nice work. Really nice work.