VN Ren'Py Our Red String [Ch. 13.1 BETA] [Eva Kiss]

4.60 star(s) 329 Votes
Discussion Reviews (329)
DavDR

DavDR

Engaged Member
Oct 14, 2020
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BloodyMares said:
Except we already have an NPC version of Ian (via Lena's POV), and he's nothing like a wannabe player that Jeremy is. Ian is first and foremost, a wannabe writer, who has a wide social network with his friends who he constantly interacts with, he has different ambitions (and struggles along the way) that define him. Sure, the heart-break might make him act more like a player, but he wouldn't be a jerk about it.

What do we gain with Jeremy as a protagonist? A typical protagonist of a porn game whose sole focus is to bang as many girls as possible, while also trying to win the MMA tournament. That's just not enough to make him compelling. Even if we get to the bottom of his insecurities, we still don't know his true aspirations, whether he likes anything beside sport, whether he has any good friends other than Ian and Billy, how does that friendship affect him (that has nothing to do with girl sharing). He's too cool for Perry and Wade, kinda ignores Emma (unless he wants to fuck her) and is kinda fixated on Ivy. If he was a player character, he'd probably get in contact with Axel, but then what? Where does his character go? What challenges does he face aside from Ivy cockblocking him from time to time? Does he face racism when trying to apply for jobs in a different field? So far, none of these questions have an answer. And without those answers, Jeremy wouldn't become a better character simply because you could play as him.
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How is that different from what we see from Ian? He's willing to be with Emma even though he knows that his friend Perry has a thing for her. He's willing to cuck his friend Wade just to have Cindy. He's willing to pursue Cherry even after he finds out from Lena about her and Axel. Ian is just as much the stereotypical porn game protagonist.
 
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HNH1985

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Nov 28, 2021
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matsuy said:
Everyone after GGGB: Eva, cool game... however, a little planning ahead might benefit all in the the end.
Eva: I'm so much more creative if things develop organically.
Everyone: O-kay?
Eva (after six releases of ORS): Listen, folks, things get more complicated along the road... let's switch to a bi-monthly release schedule.
Eva (after eight releases of ORS): I'm really stressed out right now... please bear with me.
Eva (after the latest release): Yeah, holiday/covid/whatever... I'm reworking stuff, I don't like some decisions I made in the first place, we'll figure it out (eventually).

G'dammit... that's the reason why people write outlines.
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I don't understand why did eve make two mc at same time and crossing each other. It need more time and more difficult. I see game for each mc is better easier and more fruitful.
 
FugginDamaged

FugginDamaged

Member
May 20, 2020
319
436
HNH1985 said:
I don't understand why did eve make two mc at same time and crossing each other. It need more time and more difficult. I see game for each mc is better easier and more fruitful.
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I think the game with two MC works pretty well actually, the kicker is not having the story outlined, is gonna take more time because she needs to develop new content without creating a plothole in past chapters and without creating a unrelated event, especially because the name of the game is red string we need to see the possibility of something happening to see it developing further down the line. It makes for a good and compelling story but very risky too.
 
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jimul18

jimul18

Member
Mar 10, 2019
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BloodyMares said:
Wow, this level of editing is impressive
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Thanks, mate! I always preferred the escalation in GGGB but toying around with some combinations has given me a new appreciation for ORS. Maybe I'll re-up my subscription when v10 comes out...


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Last two are re-edits, there were stillsome (plot)holes left unattended.
 
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CoalPhelps

CoalPhelps

Active Member
Aug 19, 2018
550
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Voltan17 said:
Jesus Christ another one... Your post is completely pointless and I've already responded to it. All of those things you listed would be answered if Jeremy's characterization would be upgraded from npc status to mc status. As a writer, you could do that not just with Jeremy, but with every single character in the game.



Yes, one of those is designed to be mc and the other one to be npc. You could easily swap those roles and give us bigger insight into Jeremy's thoughts, past, give him more possible agency and character developement opportunities along the way to truly flesh him out and...

Nah, fuck it, I am done. I feel like I'm being in a loop, banging my head against a wall, trying to desperately tell people that Ian is better as an mc because he's written to be mc while Jeremy's characterization is worse and less complex because he's an npc. Which is by design. That's completely intentional. It applies to every single other character in the game except Lena. It's also something any competent writer could easily swap, if wanted.
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To make Jeremy an MC, it's not enough to just expand his background, you have to rebuild him from the ground up. Right now his exposure is such that he's not a "bruised nerd to wannabe player," he's just a "stupid BBC wannabe player. We never see the other side or for him to do anything clever. He couldn't even come up with a convincing lie for Louise, who believes him simply because she is naive and desperate. The only way we know he was a nerd is through the dialogues. So it's not enough to expand his backstory and show his other side through choices or rework him like Stan, because that would be unconvincing and wouldn't get the dynamics we need. What's needed here is a completely different character.
 
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lordrango

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Aug 29, 2018
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DavDR said:
How is that different from what we see from Ian? He's willing to be with Emma even though he knows that his friend Perry has a thing for her. He's willing to cuck his friend Wade just to have Cindy. He's willing to pursue Cherry even after he finds out from Lena about her and Axel. Ian is just as much the stereotypical porn game protagonist.
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This is complete nonsense. That might be YOUR Ian if you pick those routes, but that is not THE Ian.

No one forces you to pursue Cindy, or sleep with Emma, or go after Cherry.

Surely you understand that listing all possible routes as proof of personality makes absolutely no sense.
 
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4.60 star(s) 329 Votes