VN Ren'Py Pale Carnations [Ch.4 Up.5 Public] [Mutt & Jeff]

[Ass prefer]

Im liking the theme setup, characters, animations, but. Why the fuck is the dialogue so wordy? Nobody talks like this, its kind of ruining the VN when a girl is dirty talking using words like hedonistic, saccharine tone, simulacrum. Sounds like the writer just randomly adds words. and then uses the synonym tool on Word to the most complicated word he finds. Im only in week 2 but its making it kind of a drag to get through. You could say its because its written as the inner dialogue of a nerdy med student, but even the girls sometimes talk with a bunch of wordspaghetti. Really hope it gets better

I completely agree with you. Although, at times, I liked this attempt at intelligence.

 

[ffive]

MC's thoughts/narrator's lines are quite wordy with elevated language indeed. I don't remember if dialogues are too. But yeah some characters wouldn't speak with that kind of language, being whores or criminal. But the patrons and Chuck/Kat could.

Hey now, criminals and whores can be pretty articulate and educated, too. For that matter both Chuck and Kat are criminals but still know words with more than three syllables. And Edwin's mother was a whore, didn't prevent her from enjoying Italian cinema.

 

[Dark479]

Have question was MCs mom once apart of the organization he works for.

While the game does not specify what kind of arrangement she had or who she worked for while in porn it is very unlikely she worked for the club because we know the club has only existed for five years. But it might turn out she worked for some of the current member/s of the club if any of them were doing porn before the club was created...but we don't know if that is the case or whether any of them were doing porn before the club.

 

[Ass prefer]

Hey now, criminals and whores can be pretty articulate and educated, too. For that matter both Chuck and Kat are criminals but still know words with more than three syllables. And Edwin's mother was a whore, didn't prevent her from enjoying Italian cinema.

on the other hand, this is not some kind of brothel, but a kind of elite club for the cream of society, so in this context, the fact that they are so eloquent is justified. Maybe

 

[ffive]

but we don't know if that is the case or whether any of them were doing porn before the club.

We know that August was involved in porn production before, and Edwin even asks his mother if she's heard of that man, but she seems to be unfamiliar with him.

 

[Dark479]

Im liking the theme setup, characters, animations, but. Why the fuck is the dialogue so wordy? Nobody talks like this, its kind of ruining the VN when a girl is dirty talking using words like hedonistic, saccharine tone, simulacrum. Sounds like the writer just randomly adds words. and then uses the synonym tool on Word to the most complicated word he finds. Im only in week 2 but its making it kind of a drag to get through. You could say its because its written as the inner dialogue of a nerdy med student, but even the girls sometimes talk with a bunch of wordspaghetti. Really hope it gets better

The game sure does love using big words, that's for damn sure. I have had to look up words a few times while playing this words. But it does not annoy me that much.

 

[Dark479]

We know that August was involved in porn production before, and Edwin even asks his mother if she's heard of that man, but she seems to be unfamiliar with him.

Though if she did she would probably not tell the MC. I am curious where this story will go. The MC's mom heavily suspects even if she doesn't know and I am still extremely suspicious of Kathleen's intentions as she went to talk to the MC's mom...I would not put it beyond that sadistic cunt to drag mom into club some way or another(probably as some kind of guest as this doesn't seem to be the type of game that will have incest) and bring her face to face with her son there. Though now there is also the tape of the MC with Rosalind where she does say his name once too...that will almost certainly come back to bite MC in the ass.

 

[Sharpshooter890]

The MC's mom heavily suspects even if she doesn't know and I am still extremely suspicious of Kathleen's intentions as she went to talk to the MC's mom...I would not put it beyond that sadistic cunt to drag mom into club some way or another

Idk about that, doing something like that seems counterproductive - Edwin is part of the 'staff', not a Carnation, so mistreating him for no reason only creates resentment and a desire for revenge. I'd want my employees happy or at least content with their status, rather than plotting to ruin everything behind my back.

 

[bo77om]

hmmm, I remembered something that TD mentioned somewhere in dev diary around May that they were going to "smut up a side girl that we wanted for two years now".

any guesses from y'all who that might be? or do we already have an answer who's that mystery SG?

 

[dolfe67]

hmmm, I remembered something that TD mentioned somewhere in dev diary around May that they were going to "smut up a side girl that we wanted for two years now".

any guesses from y'all who that might be? or do we already have an answer who's that mystery SG?

Maybe Ian's mother

 

[Ass prefer]

mother

Out of context, it all sounds funny how grown men discuss some mothers

 

[UmbralKnight]

being an ESL speaker myself i don't think this game using "big words" or writing in a verbose manner is an issue however reading onomatopoeic words every time during the intimate moments between characters for some reason sounds and feels weird

 

[ffive]

being an ESL speaker myself i don't think this game using "big words" or writing in a verbose manner is an issue however reading onomatopoeic words every time during the intimate moments between characters for some reason sounds and feels weird

Yeah. NGL, while i've never thought "who talks like that" while playing the game, i have more than once wondered "who makes sounds like that" during the sex scenes

 

[TD1900]

Im liking the theme setup, characters, animations, but. Why the fuck is the dialogue so wordy? Nobody talks like this, its kind of ruining the VN when a girl is dirty talking using words like hedonistic, saccharine tone, simulacrum. Sounds like the writer just randomly adds words. and then uses the synonym tool on Word to the most complicated word he finds. Im only in week 2 but its making it kind of a drag to get through. You could say its because its written as the inner dialogue of a nerdy med student, but even the girls sometimes talk with a bunch of wordspaghetti. Really hope it gets better

It prooooobably gets better?

The narration stays purple. Adverbs keep getting abused. That's just what I like.

Hopefully you find the character dialogue becomes less homogenized. I'd like to think everyone has a distinct voice by now.

I will say Felicia's vocabulary is intentionally heightened, as is how descriptive she gets during the scenes where's she spinning her sexual fantasies, but I'm sure I get careless with Rose, Veronica , and other characters. I type like an asshole, Edwin "speaks" like an asshole, and I'm sure some of that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious occasionally bleeds over to other characters even now, but (hopefully) less so.

Yeah. NGL, while i've never thought "who talks like that" while playing the game, i have more than once wondered "who makes sounds like that" during the sex scenes

The grapefruit lady, probably.

 

[Simpgor]

hmmm, I remembered something that TD mentioned somewhere in dev diary around May that they were going to "smut up a side girl that we wanted for two years now".

any guesses from y'all who that might be? or do we already have an answer who's that mystery SG?

I can guess who at least one other person really really wants it to be but personally I cant think of any side girls that (I personally) would care about a scene with. I guess Ian's mom but less so for the scene itself and more for the potential ways it can go should you let Ian know about his mom's promise with Edwin. I am more interested in what scene TD said was a "serendipitous" creation and that got his "artistic brain working" . I cant even think who the scene is going to be with much less how it sets itself apart from what is already in the game to the point that he posted about it.

Yeah. NGL, while i've never thought "who talks like that" while playing the game, i have more than once wondered "who makes sounds like that" during the sex scenes

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[TD1900]

. I am more interested in what scene TD said was a "serendipitous" creation and that got his "artistic brain working" . I cant even think who the scene is going to be with much less how it sets itself apart from what is already in the game to the point that he posted about it.

One of the Rose branches. The first one we worked on.

Also, incidentally, the Kat scene we are finishing up right now is my new favorite scene. Funny how that works.

 

[Dr. Mick]

We know that August was involved in porn production before, and Edwin even asks his mother if she's heard of that man, but she seems to be unfamiliar with him.

Though if she did she would probably not tell the MC. I am curious where this story will go. The MC's mom heavily suspects even if she doesn't know and I am still extremely suspicious of Kathleen's intentions as she went to talk to the MC's mom...I would not put it beyond that sadistic cunt to drag mom into club some way or another(probably as some kind of guest as this doesn't seem to be the type of game that will have incest) and bring her face to face with her son there. Though now there is also the tape of the MC with Rosalind where she does say his name once too...that will almost certainly come back to bite MC in the ass.

Not sure about anyone else, but I'm hoping to keep the MC's mom away from any of the staff at the club; I don't trust them. For that matter, I'd like to keep her away from the guests too.
I think eventually the MC will have to tell his mom about the club, at least in a broad strokes type of explanation. My hope it that will come as part of the ending, after the MC has managed to get the club shut down. Though he may have to tell her something sooner, if only to keep her out of Chuck and Kat's clutches.
Granted it's a long way off. He still needs to find a way to prove what Chuck and Kat have done to get them ousted. Which will be difficult, both because they are good at covering their tracks, and because, as August has pointed out, there are a number of powerful people, including those in law enforcement, that frequent the club.

By the way, what tape are you talking about? The one from Rosalind's scene at the club? If so, those of us that chose to let Ian have that scene with her don't need to worry about that.

 

[Simpgor]

By the way, what tape are you talking about? The one from Rosalind's scene at the club? If so, those of us that chose to let Ian have that scene with her don't need to worry about that.

I haven't really thought of it this way but even if Edwin is in the video you can easily argue it's not "smart" for kathleen to show Victoria. Assuming for some reason Victoria plays a dvd that is either A.) Randomly delivered to her? Or B.) Given to her by someone she has talked on the phone with a single time (Victoria can't even recall her name with 100% certainty right?). I don't see a way (unless Edwin somehow keeps Ian out of it) that Victoria doesn't also learn about Ian being involved (and the "reason" Edwin is even there). That would ruin Ian and Victoria's relation/friendship which Ian obviously cares about. Meaning that Kat not only fucked with Edwin's head (after Chuck made her specifically say she understood not to) but also messed with his actual nephews head. All of this right before she makes a gambit that could lose her control of the club? (Or her life?). That doesn't really sound like a Kat move imo.

Having a tape that you can't verify its existence or what she is going to do with it if anything constantly hanging over you (without any actual threat to her) sounds more in her wheelhouse imo.

Edit: Also we know the stage area has a security camera so Kat could just send Victoria any number of tapes with Edwin being on stage no matter what choices the player makes

 

[ManipuliereGlied]

I actually find pleasure in the way writer choosing their words. To have an open dictionary while wading through meticulously crafted sentences might be somewhat grueling, yet one should not disregard the irrefutable positive effect this kind of spelling inflict. I hope you will be able to reconsider your deplorable stand and bask with us in cordial felling those words provide.

It is with profound regard for the gravity and complexity of the matter at hand that I declare my assent with all due solemnity.

 

[Dark479]

Not sure about anyone else, but I'm hoping to keep the MC's mom away from any of the staff at the club; I don't trust them. For that matter, I'd like to keep her away from the guests too.
I think eventually the MC will have to tell his mom about the club, at least in a broad strokes type of explanation. My hope it that will come as part of the ending, after the MC has managed to get the club shut down. Though he may have to tell her something sooner, if only to keep her out of Edwin and Kat's clutches.
Granted it's a long way off. He still needs to find a way to prove what Edwin and Kat have done to get them ousted. Which will be difficult, both because they are good at covering their tracks, and because, as August has pointed out, there are a number of powerful people, including those in law enforcement, that frequent the club.

By the way, what tape are you talking about? The one from Rosalind's scene at the club? If so, those of us that chose to let Ian have that scene with her don't need to worry about that.

The MC might not get the club shut down though...I suspect and expect that will be down to player choice. But if you think that we're not going have to deal with this stuff coming out before the ending and whatever you choose to do with the club, you're kidding yourself. MC's mom and Mina will almost certainly end up finding out about the club way before the end.