Phew. After checking this out, here's my two cents. Careful, I'm gonna be brutally honest and not mince words much:
First off: Even for something one could call a "first release", this is dreadfully short. This is basically akin to a techdemo more than anything else, showing the absolute barebones the game will have in place some day in the future. One could basically blitz through this within 15 minutes tops. This makes for a meager first impression, especially with how crammed the adult game market seems to be nowadays and in such an environment first impression counts for a lot in order to garner attention in the first place. As it stands, it runs the risk of falling onto the wayside to be passed on as nothing more but one of many sandbox harem games fighting for attention.
Next up, the writing is, well... it's rough to say the least: Not only is it full of typos at various points, but it's also never clearly indicated what is supposed to be internal monologuing, or what is spoken dialogue because of missing punctuation marks and brackets and what else you potentially plan on using further down the line - that happened quite often in such a short amount of time. You desperately need to proofread this and make it absolutely clear what falls into what category because as it stands, it's actively killing any investment for something even this short and that is really not a good sign. This also leads to another issue: When the typos are actually massive, like the "Advetrures's" Guild within the first 5 minutes of reading and happening so frequently to the point where even having a single paragraph without a typo is becoming a rarity in and of itself, this comes off as lazy on your end, even if English is not your native language. I'm going to refrain from commenting on the story, simply because the premise is not exactly new and what exists as of right now is too little to draw anything from yet.
My only suggestion on that end would be to plot out the flow of the story beforehand and make sure it stays consistent for what you try to accomplish with it - even for a game which premise lies on funny or comedic moments moreso than the actual overarching plot. This is important because not just a story, but humor that bases itself on contrivance over contrivance is going to become grating at best, insulting at worst.
Coming to the lewd stuff: For what it's worth, the scenes this first release show are fine for what they are - a showcase. They look quite fluent on my end and the movement in itself looks natural, so that area definitely does not need any touching on as of right now. I for one am not a sucker for exceptionally detailed models because at that point, your machine is going to massively chug, not to mention that scenes with a very high framerate are going to massively baloon the size of the game.
But in all honesty, for someone who has not had any prior experience at all in the field and has only been doing this for a couple of weeks, it could also have been a fuckton worse.
