Porn Game Tropes: The good, the bad, and the fugly

[whiskeyrose]

I spend too much time laughing about tropes. Came up with a few more instead of being productive in any capacity

Pussy on a Pedestal
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Anime Tiddies, a singular Pursuit
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For the life of a lewd game MC, a woman's body is the sole pursuit of of man. The payoff for any task, from slaying monsters to doing regular household chores will be pussy. That is unless of course it's early game any the heroine has yet to be a mindless cock slave, in which she will flash an erogenous zone as a reward for menial tasks. While in reality only the most mentally ill narcissist would offer a pantry flash in return for simple favors, heroines will often humiliatingly pose against walls for siblings in return for favors that only offset an MC's day by a five minute detour.

Rape Culture

Deer in Headlights
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In the world of lewd games, sexual harassment is an absolute blight upon the world, most likely because Every Man's a Rapist. So you're some hot piece of ass mom at the ripe age of 30 when your adult son starts undressing you and rubbing your titties like he's the goddamn hollow man. Seeing as how you apparently never had any sort of parental authority for his entire life the best course of option is to sit there and take it. The time to put your foot down is not when he's rubbing your nips, it's when the behavior has escalated to the point he's shoving vegetables in your cooch. Don't forget to accept his late night massages in your underwear, let him sleep with you, and to forgive him for "accidentally" watching you piss. All of these behaviors are perfectly normal for his age, it's not like these are red flags for a murder rapist right?

Tunnel Vision

She's not even wearing goddamn pants
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Nobody in lewd games has peripheral vision whatsoever or even the teeniest bits of observational ability. You can be getting blown under a desk, your mother/teacher/accountant slurping loudly in a room full of coworkers and nobody will notice. Cafe and restaurant tables are magic force-fields blocking out entire lower halves from the attention of the universe while you're licking lady bits. Using the above image as an example you don't need a table cloth, nobody will react to the moans or loud slurping, and the waitress might as well be legally blind. Your pussy buffet doesn't even need to wear pants, nobody will notice or care.

 

[megaplayboy10k]

Only Man(Boy) in Vaginatown

The main character appears to be either the only male in the entire game setting, and/or there appear to be a lot more girls/women than boys/men. Bastard Girls, Lust Town and a few others have this dynamic. Obviously various survival games where the male character has to keep several women alive and safe, etc. But lesser versions of this are ubiquitous--only male in a household filled with (attractive) women, only male in a largely female apartment building/dormitory. The function/purpose of this is 1) to minimize or eliminate any real competition for female companionship, 2) create a rationale for the MC to have unusually high social market value, 3) maximize the number of opportunities for the MC to "meat" women.

Examples: too numerous to mention

Flipping the Horny Switch

The main character largely hits a wall in trying to get somewhere with the object of his lust/affection, until some key event occurs, at which point her pussy becomes a swirling black hole of unending cocklust. Mom was previously uncomfortable when you started massaging her upper calf; now she's eagerly gobbling up the cockjuice dribbling down her chin. Your co-worker wouldn't even give you the time of day; now she meets you in the bathroom every day to get her daily ass-pounding needs fulfilled. This seems to happen in games either when the dev/writer can't figure out how to do more subtle transitions, or when the patrons get tired of the Stairway to Heaven teasing and just demand "get on with it".


The Amazing Story of the Largely Female Family That Never Discuss Anything Intimate With Each Other

The main character simultaneously, slowly/quickly seduces his mother, his 1-3 sisters, his aunt, possibly his cousin(s) and even his grandmother...and none of them ever, and the Rock means EVER, discuss it with each other. "Hey, Tommy put his tongue down my throat the other night, Mom." "Really? He did that to me too. Huh, weird. Do you think he's going through a phase?"
"I dunno, but I think I liked it...I, uh, got a little bit wet." "Oh, honey, don't worry about it, that's perfectly natural. I got a little bit horny too. It's too bad we're going to have to send him to therapy and boarding school because of this, but that's life. I hope he gets over the desire to procreate with his own family members like it's no biggie." Seriously, though, this really strains credulity. At least a few games where this comes up before near the end of the game would be a nice change of pace.

 

[Segnbora]

I truly apologize if this has been done before (joke intended), but I scanned the early pages and I didn't see it.

I've Never Done That Before, But...

You are a (40-year-old mother of three/20-year-old sister who dresses too provocatively for most prostitutes/18-year-old virgin who nonetheless has a comprehensive knowledge of porn/universe-traveling 35 year old female captain) who is more sexually naive than your average napkin. Whatever the MC wants to do once you've been bent over the dining room table, you've never done before. Despite the fact that you dress like an actual whore and drag gross dudes home 24/7, not one of them has ever asked for oral or anal. Even if you've already pumped out three kids, anything other than vaginal intercourse for the purpose of procreation is something you've never even heard about, much less considered. Yet you, not-at-all 18 year old blonde and virginal younger sister, have never even kissed a boy yet are into double anal and bukkake and gangbangs and watersports because...well, it's not clear, really, but you sure are into them.

 

[getdare]

In the world of lewd games, sexual harassment is an absolute blight upon the world, most likely because Every Man's a Rapist.

I am pretty sure that this is due to Nerds not knowing how normal people behave. I assume that most lewd game devs never dated in real life. They don't know how people interact with each other. That's why most dating games are total trash. Or worse, games in which you attend parties.

In lewd games it's always either rape, love on first sight, or some bullshit score system where you make someone compliments until they let you fuck them.

All of these behaviors are perfectly normal for his age, it's not like these are red flags for a murder rapist right?

I mean... these are not red flags, they are waaay beyond that.

 

[DarthSeduction]

Metatropes

Why aren't you a huge slut?

So, you're scrolling though complaints about a game and come across a person who finds it ridiculous that the woman who dresses as she pleases (he calls that slutty) and has a boyfriend isn't the biggest slut on the planet. You keep going and find that this milf doesn't know shit about sex either, as another poster complains that she's apparently never given a BJ before. Another complaint comes in the form of condemnation, pointing the the not so slutty slut and the vanilla milf as they say, but this 18(?) year old virgin girl knows all about all the positions and even has a list she'd like to try.

Is it possible that the way our first example dresses is more a reflection of the fashion choices of her friend group than an invitation to all men? Is it possible that the milf, or her husband are very religious missionary sex only for the purposes of procreation? Could it be that our virginal lass has a high libido and a curious disposition? Nah, it's clearly just that this developer doesn't know what the fuck they're doing.

Instances where people properly use this trope:

Dating My Daughter features an 18(?) year old girl who's best friend is a super slut, meanwhile she apparently doesn't know literally anything about sex. One has to wonder how a girl goes through high school without learning something, let alone going through it with a best friend who thinks cocks are just the greatest.​

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Instances where this trope is improperly used:

While I'm loathe to praise Big Brother, the game goes to great lengths to give us glimpses into the twisted psyche of this horrible family. Ann's virginal attitude toward sex stems from a combination of childhood trauma and a puritanical sex negative worldview. Alice's experiences with sex seem to be primarily lesbian, and while we're left to assume there's been other men, it's quite clear she's not the slut she appears to be. Lisa is indeed a curious girl, though in her particular case, the fact that you have to immediately go back to convincing her everything is ok every time you take a step forward does seem odd.​

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No shade on anyone, especially not on you Sengbora, I think your trope is fine. It just reminded me of something that tends to bug me about the way people talk about and write female characters. The clothing the "slut" sister chooses to wear supposedly defining her sexual experience being the biggest peeve, it's essentially the same justification as a rapist saying she was asking for it because of what she was wearing. I actually think the devs doing things in that way in the first place, making everyone virginal in order to cater to the really aggro dudes who can't stand "used goods" is probably the worst bit. Give your characters some complexity. Innocence doesn't mean ignorance.

 

[Segnbora]

I don't feel picked on, but I still cried in a corner for several months.

The "trope" came out of a combination of some erotic fiction I'm working on vs. the erotic games I've played of late, and I started to realize (or at least think about for the first time) just how rare it is that sexual escalation is instigated by female MCs or NPCs. It happens, and (perhaps not coincidentally) games in which it does are often my favorite games, but I still think I can count on one hand the number of times a female MC/NPC has handed someone the lube and demanded anal. Or instigated a threesome. Or...well, whatever. The specific act doesn't matter, but it's a truthful generalization that women in these games are rendered at a much higher level of sexuality than that with which they're characterized.

 

[RogueKnightUK]

I am pretty sure that this is due to Nerds not knowing how normal people behave. I assume that most lewd game devs never dated in real life. They don't know how people interact with each other. That's why most dating games are total trash. Or worse, games in which you attend parties.

In lewd games it's always either rape, love on first sight, or some bullshit score system where you make someone compliments until they let you fuck them.

To experience something is one thing. To identify that thing in a way that you can explain clearly, even to yourself, is another thing. Then to be able to write it in fiction is yet another.

People are lazy assholes, by and large. They go for easy. So, many don't put in the effort to observe without prejudice, to consider with empathy, and to compare their conclusions with realities.

For example, despite the fact that you probably know no more adult virgins than any of the rest of us, which is to say they are pretty damn rare outside of the most religious of communities, you'd far rather make the ludicrous and lazy assumption that lewd game devs are virgins, than just think that, you know, they probably are not skilled writers, not great psychologists, and are largely copying other game devs without enough thought.

Put another way, you've known and experienced people all your life. Your parents/carers, your teachers, your friends, and so forth. Does that mean you understand psychology and behavioural economics, even though such have surrounded you every day of your life? Of course not.

 

[megaplayboy10k]

It's possible to dress "sexy" and still have a relatively conservative attitude towards your own personal promiscuity(or lack thereof). One can also dress modestly and quietly engage in depraved sexual acts in dark, secluded places(see also "The Roman Catholic Church, history of").

 

[215303j]

For example, despite the fact that you probably know no more adult virgins than any of the rest of us, which is to say they are pretty damn rare outside of the most religious of communities,

Actually it seems that the age where people start with sex is going up and is (on average) even 18+ now in some European countries.

Not in the UK obviously.

 

[megaplayboy10k]

Actually it seems that the age where people start with sex is going up and is (on average) even 18+ now in some European countries.

Not in the UK obviously.

For sexual intercourse, that appears to be correct. There are teens engaging in oral sex instead, a year or three prior to vaginal intercourse. Presumably for reasons of safety/commitment/contraception etc.

 

[DarthSeduction]

To experience something is one thing. To identify that thing in a way that you can explain clearly, even to yourself, is another thing. Then to be able to write it in fiction is yet another.

People are lazy assholes, by and large. They go for easy. So, many don't put in the effort to observe without prejudice, to consider with empathy, and to compare their conclusions with realities.

For example, despite the fact that you probably know no more adult virgins than any of the rest of us, which is to say they are pretty damn rare outside of the most religious of communities, you'd far rather make the ludicrous and lazy assumption that lewd game devs are virgins, than just think that, you know, they probably are not skilled writers, not great psychologists, and are largely copying other game devs without enough thought.

Put another way, you've known and experienced people all your life. Your parents/carers, your teachers, your friends, and so forth. Does that mean you understand psychology and behavioural economics, even though such have surrounded you every day of your life? Of course not.

I nearly made a similar reply, but thought better of it because all I was doing was condemning. I appreciate the way you presented the argument.

 

[getdare]

To experience something is one thing. To identify that thing in a way that you can explain clearly, even to yourself, is another thing. Then to be able to write it in fiction is yet another.

You claim that there is no correlation between these things?

Let me put it this way... a few weeks ago I have played a game (can't remember it's name right now) in which you played a student going to a new college or some other kind of school. You had to option to talk to random people, or sit alone. If you chose to talk to people they would bully you and curse you away.

Now this has to be made by a anti social person. Because this is a fear a lot of people have. Everyone is worried about getting rejected by others. But when you actually start talking to people in real life you realize that most people are happy to talk with others. I have not yet been in a situation where I talked to someone I haven't met yet and they reacted in a negative way.

You can't tell me that this person is someone who has a lot of friends and talks with others all the time. Because if that were the case he wouldn't write such a unrealistic and wrong situation.

And by the way, losing your virginity to a prostitute doesn't count... because you miss all the social aspects needed to find a girl.

 

[whiskeyrose]

I am pretty sure that this is due to Nerds not knowing how normal people behave. I assume that most lewd game devs never dated in real life. They don't know how people interact with each other. That's why most dating games are total trash. Or worse, games in which you attend parties.

In lewd games it's always either rape, love on first sight, or some bullshit score system where you make someone compliments until they let you fuck them.

Oh for sure. I think this is most apparent whenever a woman in a game catches a glimpse of MC's dick and then is uncontrollably aroused. Aside from the most sexually charged of real life women, seeing a dick doesn't make them go into heat. It's a blatant tell the author's only experience in romance (and women in general) is through porn.

 

[RogueKnightUK]

You claim that there is no correlation between these things?

Far from it. I merely point out that they are levels, and each level requires additional other skills to be applied.

The porn industry is notorious for creating ridiculously corny and unrealistic scenes, where the only thing more preposterous than the obviously unrealistic scenario is the appallingly bad dialogue. According to your logic, that's because they are all virgins...

You can experience something a billion times and yet not understand how it works - as per my example with how much experience you probably have with interacting with people, but not being an expert in psychology, behavioural economics, etc. A rare few (proportionally) have an added level of empathy and insight that allows them to instinctively understand people enough that they can apply manipulation, either to elicit trust and soothe people, or to manipulate them in other ways. This is a second level, beyond mere experience, but the extra understanding is still something more instinctive and personal - you couldn't necessarily explain it to others clearly, or teach it. That would take a third level.

Let me put it this way... a few weeks ago I have played a game (can't remember it's name right now) in which you played a student going to a new college or some other kind of school. You had to option to talk to random people, or sit alone. If you chose to talk to people they would bully you and curse you away.

Now this has to be made by a anti social person. Because this is a fear a lot of people have. Everyone is worried about getting rejected by others. But when you actually start talking to people in real life you realize that most people are happy to talk with others. I have not yet been in a situation where I talked to someone I haven't met yet and they reacted in a negative way.

You can't tell me that this person is someone who has a lot of friends and talks with others all the time. Because if that were the case he wouldn't write such a unrealistic and wrong situation.

I'm trying very hard to think of a single movie or TV show where the trope you describe isn't used. You know, the new kid in the school being rejected by the cool kids clique, and the jocks, etc. I'm drawing a blank.

It is the epitome of an overused trope, but that's not just in the fact that it is used as a lazy shortcut to present something that feels familiar and the audience instantly understand. It is also in the fact that it is grounded in some level of truth, or at least, truthiness. Psychologically and instinctively, people tend to form groups, and part of that is to create shared bonds and shared identity. What makes you a member of the group isn't just what you share, for that would reveal what many are trying not to think about - that they are not the same. No, a part of in-grouping is out-grouping - what the group is against, who it is not.

That group may be the 'Jocks', who in a facility dedicated to academic achievement contain more than a few who, academically, are less gifted and able than some other students. Psychologically, they are far more likely to identify their difference not by what they are weak in (identifying as weak) but by what they are strong in, (which is what prompted some of them to focus on their athletic talents in the first place). Some members of that group however, despite being gifted athletes are also very able students academically. This threatens the belief that some members of the group need that there has to be a trade off, and that they are poor academics because they have focused on their athletic talents. So, an unspoken agreement usually arises where the jocks spurn the geeks and nerds - and the members of the jock group who could easily join the nerds and geeks on talent, play along, choosing to identify with the jock group.

At the exact same time, the nerds who despite amazing academic success, lack athletic prowess, and perhaps are a little too far into the autism spectrum to be charming and witty socially, make the exact same psychological move. While they are smart enough to know they could train physically, they are still lazy assholes who can easily see that it is far easier and less effort to simply pretend it is a choice that they have 'chosen' to specialize in the mind, and that those 'wasting their time' being socially popular are vacuous while those with athletic skills are neanderthals, etc.

Where it gets really interesting though is that people naturally prefer smaller more intimate connections. As their main group grows, they will form sub-groups and cliques within the group. Much of the research studies have blamed this too on ease and laziness. It's easier to remember all those personal histories, tastes, dates, etc with a few people than with a lot of people - so shrinking your social circles to an inner circle (that requires the most maintenance level) to a smaller number of people is simply more economical.

 

[getdare]

The porn industry is notorious for creating ridiculously corny and unrealistic scenes, where the only thing more preposterous than the obviously unrealistic scenario is the appallingly bad dialogue. According to your logic, that's because they are all virgins...

There is a difference between writing something bad on purpose and not being able to write good content. Porn has often bad plot because they are doing unrealistic scenes. A pizza guy is not just going to get invited in to fuck a hot chick. They have to come up with something that makes somewhat sense.

This doesn't apply to most dating sims. These games try to be realistic and fail badly at it.

If I tell someone to show me how to kiss and they start doing something completely different I assume that they don't know how to kiss. They never experienced it or saw others do it. Same with these porn games. The main character goes to a party and all of them girls are alone not flirting with the guys? Yeah that guy has never been to a party. The girls all reject all the guys? Yeah this guy only knows parties from movies.

Because for some reason movies and tv shows also display these male + female relationships wrong. Like this one scene in "two and a half man". After a one nightstand this girl tells Charlie that she loves him, he doesn't say anything back and he is somehow the asshole? If you tell someone in real life that you love them after a one night stand they will probably kick you out of their apartment.

 

[DarthSeduction]

This doesn't apply to most dating sims. These games try to be realistic and fail badly at it.

Do they? I think the same hightened reality that exists in porn is almost always used in these games.

If I tell someone to show me how to kiss and they start doing something completely different I assume that they don't know how to kiss.

See, this isn't the first time you've done this, so I feel the need to point it out. A kiss is a very simple exchange. Replicating something so simple is fairly easy. Replicating a complex relationship through the medium of a game? Not so simple. Games, by their very nature demand a sort of decoupling from reality. What's the average number of choices in a given game's interaction? 4? Do you think you've ever really been in a point in your life where you were limited to 4 choices in anything? Even a yes or no question leaves you with the option to say fuck the system and go off in any number of ways. So immediately the story is alienated from reality in the way the choices work. On top of that, you're talking about unskilled writers.

The main character goes to a party and all of them girls are alone not flirting with the guys? Yeah that guy has never been to a party. The girls all reject all the guys? Yeah this guy only knows parties from movies.

Or, and just bear with me for a second, maybe the author is avoiding the issues that come with including men other than the MC in the story? Have you seen the way people react to the idea of their virtual waifu possibly being in sight range of a penis that doesn't belong to their MC? And, while we're making totally rational alternatives for your virgin conspiracy, how about, the unskilled writer doesn't want to waste time on writing characters other than the ones that matter to the protagonist?

After a one nightstand this girl tells Charlie that she loves him, he doesn't say anything back and he is somehow the asshole? If you tell someone in real life that you love them after a one night stand they will probably kick you out of their apartment.

You realize you just suggested an absurdist sitcom explicitly about a womanizing male character as an example of how television might portray a relationship, right?

I think you have a serious case of unchecked biases, and a seriously incurious mind. You jump to a conclusion and stick to it like dogma. Then, when challenged, you come up with ridiculous anecdotes, strawmen, and false dichotomies. It's unhealthy and honestly, as a dev, pisses me off.

 

[Proto Persona]

There is a difference between writing something bad on purpose and not being able to write good content. Porn has often bad plot because they are doing unrealistic scenes. A pizza guy is not just going to get invited in to fuck a hot chick. They have to come up with something that makes somewhat sense.

This doesn't apply to most dating sims. These games try to be realistic and fail badly at it.

I think it depends on the game. To me almost all of the games on here fall firmly in the "trying to be porn" category. Hell, I think even most dating sims in general are trying to be porn without the actual nudity.

If I tell someone to show me how to kiss and they start doing something completely different I assume that they don't know how to kiss. They never experienced it or saw others do it. Same with these porn games. The main character goes to a party and all of them girls are alone not flirting with the guys? Yeah that guy has never been to a party. The girls all reject all the guys? Yeah this guy only knows parties from movies.

I think I agree with DarthSeduction on this point. Call it lazy writing or whatever, but portraying the true depth of situations like these takes work that a small developer just doesn't have time for. All these games are the product of 1-5 people, with the large majority being 1-2. Anything that doesn't directly advance the plot or the relationship with the MC is usually not a good investment of resources. It's not like TV and movies where you can just hire extras to be around and make the scene convincing.

Because for some reason movies and tv shows also display these male + female relationships wrong. Like this one scene in "two and a half man". After a one nightstand this girl tells Charlie that she loves him, he doesn't say anything back and he is somehow the asshole? If you tell someone in real life that you love them after a one night stand they will probably kick you out of their apartment.

This one I agree with you on. I think the point that the girl was being crazy stalker levels of fast is right. I wish DarthSeduction had addressed that instead of calling out the example show you used.

All that said, you're constantly addressing your points in a very negative way. When you lead with insults like nerd or virgin and claim the authors have no experience with real human interaction, no one is going to take your message seriously.

Do they? I think the same hightened reality that exists in porn is almost always used in these games.

See, this isn't the first time you've done this, so I feel the need to point it out. A kiss is a very simple exchange. Replicating something so simple is fairly easy. Replicating a complex relationship through the medium of a game? Not so simple. Games, by their very nature demand a sort of decoupling from reality. What's the average number of choices in a given game's interaction? 4? Do you think you've ever really been in a point in your life where you were limited to 4 choices in anything? Even a yes or no question leaves you with the option to say fuck the system and go off in any number of ways. So immediately the story is alienated from reality in the way the choices work. On top of that, you're talking about unskilled writers.

Or, and just bear with me for a second, maybe the author is avoiding the issues that come with including men other than the MC in the story? Have you seen the way people react to the idea of their virtual waifu possibly being in sight range of a penis that doesn't belong to their MC? And, while we're making totally rational alternatives for your virgin conspiracy, how about, the unskilled writer doesn't want to waste time on writing characters other than the ones that matter to the protagonist?

I'm on board with all of this. Good points that definitely affect how you write a story whose audience expects titilation and erotisism before other concerns.

You realize you just suggested an absurdist sitcom explicitly about a womanizing male character as an example of how television might portray a relationship, right?

His example isn't the point though, it's how the writing portrays the male character as a jerk for rejecting the very inappropriate advances of some girl he just met hours ago. It's not that uncommon that girls in media are allowed to fall in love at first sight/fuck, but when guys do the same it's seen as creepy stalker behavior. It really should be seen seen as creepy from both angles.

I think you have a serious case of unchecked biases, and a seriously incurious mind. You jump to a conclusion and stick to it like dogma. Then, when challenged, you come up with ridiculous anecdotes, strawmen, and false dichotomies. It's unhealthy and honestly, as a dev, pisses me off.

I don't think his points are all that biased, and his reasoning and logic are sound even if you don't prefer the examples or the tone he uses. I think you might be talking past each other though. You both seem to have the desire to see more realistic characterization, but are calling out different unrealistic aspects.

 

[DarthSeduction]

His example isn't the point though, it's how the writing portrays the male character as a jerk for rejecting the very inappropriate advances of some girl he just met hours ago. It's not that uncommon that girls in media are allowed to fall in love at first sight/fuck, but when guys do the same it's seen as creepy stalker behavior. It really should be seen seen as creepy from both angles.

It does matter, because you were supposed to see it as absurd. That was the joke.

I don't think his points are all that biased, and his reasoning and logic are sound even if you don't prefer the examples or the tone he uses. I think you might be talking past each other though. You both seem to have the desire to see more realistic characterization, but are calling out different unrealistic aspects.

You mistake the issue. The problem isn't that he craves realism, it's that he pins the fault of the lack of realism on his prejudiced belief that all these devs must be virgins. And it is the mere fact of making that leap, and arguing against any sound reasoning that refutes it that makes me come to my final conclusion. I am observing, in action, a refusal to examine his biases.

Even though I know he's not talking about me, as I guarantee my games wouldn't fit his complaints, the fact that he jumps to those conclusions at all is something that needs challenging. People tend to do this in real life in much more dangerous ways. So, with something like this, that's relatively harmless, just plainly and willfully ignorant, it's the best time to convince people to look deeper into things than their surface assumptions and biases.

 

[Segnbora]

I am observing, in action, a refusal to examine his biases.

While I agree with you in almost every possible fashion, I'd like to take this in a somewhat tangential direction. Do you think that most games reflect a healthy understanding of sexuality? Especially female sexuality? Because I don't, and I think it's worth interrogating why that is.

I don't think the fact that dudes are writing the games is the entirety of the answer.

 

[Nottravis]

While I agree with you in almost every possible fashion, I'd like to take this in a somewhat tangential direction. Do you think that most games reflect a healthy understanding of sexuality? Especially female sexuality? Because I don't, and I think it's worth interrogating why that is.

I don't think the fact that dudes are writing the games is the entirety of the answer.

Taking this post in isolation, I think this is a great question to raise - and I think the answer is simply no, they don't by and large. I like playing adult games, hell I like playing them so much I made my own - but the number of times I've ultimately given up on a game as the writers understanding of motivations and what actually drives people (especially females) to engage in sexual activity hits a wall so fast you end up with brick dust on your keyboard.

Don't get me wrong. There are a huge variety of games out there and there is nothing wrong with, say, a female naive heroine who constantly loses her clothes and trips over onto the nearest cock if that's what the game is about. It's where the dev proclaims the reality, and you settle in for a good yarn looking for that - and suddenly the female NPC has soaked her knickers over seeing a penis for the first time....

As to why, *scratches head*, I think you're right that it's not a gender barrier. I don't see why a chap can't write decent fem perspective or motivations. I suspect it might be more a general lack of writing experience than anything else? To which the only real answer is time and experience perhaps?

But also...is that what the market wants? If we look at the dead hand of market forces, realism and/or a healthy understanding of sexuality isn't present in any of the top earners. So, where is the drive for devs to go down that route?