I have a similar view to yours....
I'm not a fan of netorare by any means and I also don't mind it being avoidable, my issues come in when the the creator attempts to use it as a threat in the writing for the main player.
Nothing entirely wrong with this, but many times it's overdone and pretty much includes light-NTR or cheating in the story for unavoidable sections.
It's a cheap way to get strong emotions out of the player and I consider a large portion of it is not very well written because it usually requires the MC to play dumb while their love interest is getting felt up by another man.
Creators will then proceed to promote their games with avoidable NTR when in reality that's not true.... And if you try to point this out you'll be called "
entitled" or "
sensitive". That's just the way it is unfortunately