I get a little confused between Netorare, netorase, netori, cheating, swapping, swinging, cheating, blackmail etc. But since I don't really self insert and basically process the games as if they are told to me by a mate, I just want positive sexual experiences. The protagonists LI having loving and passionate sex with the antagonist works just fine for me, because while it would hurt the protagonist, that ain't me.
When it starts to veer into coercion and noncon though, that doesn't strike me as a positive sexual experience, and it doesn't work for me at all. I do prefer having the protagonist doing the stealing because usually the victory is the goal and there's no degradation involved, whereas sometimes when the antagonist wins the goal is to kick the protagonist when he's down, and that just doesn't seem needed to me.
To each their own though, I'm fully aware these are games. I detest cheating irl, in games it's like 'well, I want to see these 2 characters go at it, don't let the LI being in a relationship get in the way of that'.
So I guess it depends how personal people take the writing too? If I felt like I was getting cheated on I wouldn't really be into that.