Wow this is a good game. It's still very "work in progress", but the Britney and Keisuke routes both have a decent amount of content, and it's easy to insert oneself as Zach/Zoey.
My big concern/critique is that the game seems to be too big and too broad. There are art assets which get shared between the paths, but there is a whole lot of story in this game, and it's not repeated at all between paths, so it's got to be like writing several novels simultaneously. The writer does a good job of using the C.H.E.A.T.S. scores and previous choices to alter flavor text (and that alone adds a lot of replay value), but so far the seperate paths don't merge at all, and that must add a ton of work to the game. It bothers me because I freaking love what's there so far, but I understand writing well enough to be very worried that it may not be possible to actually complete this.
It would seem that there would be a lot more gameplay possibilities if the different paths crossed over a little more. Minor encounters (like in the convenience store or the different shops in the mall) are the sorts of things that could be in all the major baths with small variations in the text. This would help to pad the playtime by reusing work from one story in another story, but it would also help to make the game more immersive for the player by seeing places where different timelines converge and split apart.
I feel like the game might be moving toward more "crossover" on day 4, or maybe even after the mall-trip on day 2, so maybe I'm worried over nothing. I really freaking love this game, so I want to see it go on.
There are a few things in the game that are not quite to my personal taste. One of them is the "dubious consent" in certain scenes (particularly the first scene with Keisuke). That scene is well-written, but it's about at my borderline where I would rather call a hard "NO" and go for a bad end for a character that I'm controlling. I'm definitely not kink-shaming, and I really, really love imbalances of power and D/s relationships, but I emotionally detach myself from a submissive's headspace when they start deluding themselves into thinking they lack agency.
D/s games are powerful because they hit deep emotions that most of us can't fully understand or control, so it's jarring to ride along with a character and then watch them go down a path that I would not. I guess that as a reader, I need some way to imagine things as "topping from the bottom".
Whenever the "Admit I was masturbating" branch of that scene is finished, it would be nice to see it as a Reverse Cowgirl scene rather than just guided masturbation. Masturbation feels like a bit of a second-place prize, and cowgirl positions are actually very good for virgins since it gives the girl a lot of control, and the reverse cowgirl would let Zach watch Zoey in the mirror instead of looking at K. If K is the expert that he is painted as, he'd probably pick a girl-on-top position for the girl's first time, and there are still ways for him to guide those positions, or even grab Zoey's hips and take out some aggression (once Zoey is up to speed). It could even share art assets with the "gentler but still rough" branch just by having immediately switch to his most aggressive gear in the rough version. It would just be disappointing to have the most assertive choice for Zoey ony lead to masturbation — everything else about the character (especially at high horniness) makes her seem like she'd want more, especially since that scene marks a transition to accepting her body more.
It also feels a little weird that the game seems to funnel Zach/Zoey into monogamy, even when the scenes played out so that the other character were just using him/her for sex. At high horniness and control (and maybe sel-esteem), things should probably skew more towards fuckbuddies or open relationships, especially as Zach/Zoey starts to recognize that literally everyone wants to fuck him/her. It's pretty firmly established that high-horny Z gets horny anytime he/she sees a mirror, or a cute girl, or when touched, and the sorts of games Zach played had him collecting cute girls, so it kinda doesn't make sense that he/she'd confine her sexual feeling just to one person, especially when in some play throughs that person is an asshole. Seriously, K's pullout game is shit, and he did it even after he got called on it, and that dude needs to go back to the friendzone and think about what he did. Britney on her extortion-dating path should probably go in the friendzone too.
I mean, maybe other options will show up in later days (it's still early), but there should at least be some flavor text that has Z considering other options, especially after the immediate problem of getting clothes is taken care of.
As soon as Z gets into public she starts to realize that people go crazy for her, so as time goes on she should feel less tied to her "best friend" if they aren't treating her well. The more Zach becomes Zoey, the more options she has.
Anyway, great game, even though it's