So after playing through v0.2.8 and reading every post in this thread, I felt inclined to post my thoughts regarding my experience, as well as how I feel about the discussions so far. This will be a
long post, so please bear with me:
* First, I love the introduction (everything up to MC returning home). It has significant weight, as it quickly and concisely portrays the MC as a tragic victim. I also like his backstory, in that his family, and his sense of normalcy after his mom passes, are stripped away when his
aunt and
sisters move. Then, his life is turned upside down with his father's murder, followed immediately by his years-long incarceration. With what's presented, I think it makes for a solid start for a deeper revenge story.
All of this is also loaded with potential which could serve to make for a standout, emotionally charged MC. A child around 10 or 12 years old who just lost the last of his family, with no one left to defend him, and who is then raised in a prison environment throughout his whole adolescence should be
full of flaws and raw emotions. He should be enraged, exceedingly bitter, untrusting, and should act with quite a few chips on his shoulders. With all of this, you would have a memorable MC who is undoubtedly believable when he says he wants revenge against those who ruined his life. Again, tons of promise, but...
* Unfortunately, we don't see any of this. So my first criticism; the MC feels blank. Not the kind of apathetic emotionlessness you might expect from a trauma victim. Rather, this MC comes off as plain and dull because we don't get anything from him. None of the anger, none of the irritability or suspicion, no sign of the harsh attitude that one would expect. After all, for more than a decade, his social mannerisms would have been forged by and around criminals. We also get nothing in the ways of his plans or ambitions now that he's out of prison. Yes, I understand that he only just got out and his story has just begun. But we don't even get a vehement line about "tracking them down" or "making them regret." As such, it's difficult to empathize or connect with the MC as of now.
Honestly though, it wouldn't take much to achieve more at this stage. Have the MC lash out a bit, be condescendingly sarcastic, even have him be ungrateful at times. Yes, it would make the MC more of a jerk, but it would reinforce his background and add to his blank personality. He also doesn't have to stay that way. His personality (and character arc) can improve via the more time he spends with the girls. Love, humor, sympathy, etc. He can still have rage and hate, but he could learn to keep a lid on it around those who care for him (he could also lose control sometimes for some juicy conflict).
Overall, solid backstory and the pieces are there for a more engaging, more memorable MC, yet his personality and his feelings need to be much,
much more prominent.
* I'm intrigued by this other world, as I'm a sucker for "gameplay in real-life" manwha. From what I understood, this is an alternate, yet very real world and not simply a game. And so, I'm looking forward to the reasons why, and consequences of, opening access to this other world to regular people. I also like that perhaps the MC's parents, friends/affiliates, and most likely the father's murderer, may have known of this world's existence previously, so I'm hoping that history and those connections play into the story.
Not quite a criticism, but I do agree that more of the other world's "rules" need to be expounded upon. Like if you die in the other world, do you die in the human world, or is your consciousness simply "disconnected" and you wake up in bed? Or does your growth in that world affect you physically, mentally, etc in the human world? If so, is such a thing only limited to MC and people like him, or can anyone benefit? I'm looking forward to those details when they come.
* I think my biggest issue with the game so far is its lack of direction. With the tonal shifts from the introduction to after the MC gets out of prison, it feels like night and day. At first, we're shown that the MC went through one tragedy after another, and then spends half his life in hell. It sets up perfectly for a mystery and story of revenge. It sets a stark tone. But then when he returns home, MC becomes a cliché. Staring at boobs, getting flustered, getting teased, etc. And, he lacks agency, simply doing what others tell him to. Again, I realize he just got out of prison and is probably disoriented, nor would he possess the social skills to properly interact with women. However, just a line or two stating a future plan or idea would go a long way, as would a bit of frustration, angst or projected (or intentional) anger. Pair the awkwardness with frustration or misplaced anger. Build off of different traits and feelings. All would help maintain tone, character, and story flow. As of now, given the jarring tone shift, and although it's said in the thread's OP, "
As you chase justice...," I'm actually questioning whether this is a vengeance story at all, or whether it's just another slice-of-life in disguise...
* Lastly, I know there have been many comments and much criticism already; opinions regarding choices, how MC's imprisonment is described, how he behaves once released, how he's treated, teased, and such. And I found myself agreeing with many of the points already made. I also see that many of the posts can be viewed as intense or even harsh. What I want to say is, I don't believe any of it is from a place of maliciousness, but rather from a place of intrigue. I've said it above
ReEven Studio , you've made a solid introduction, and you have the pieces in place for both an immersive story and for a memorable MC. We recognize the potential. And I think we are wanting to see you use those pieces and raise this to another level. So I'll leave this by saying hang in there, don't take the comments personally, and keep it up, because you have hints of brilliance here, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who would love to see your story reach its fullest potential.