VN Ren'Py Rebel Duet [v0.10b] [ionDivvy]

[Orphanus]

Thanks to everyone for the feedback, and I apologize if this update was disappointing for you. I didn't expect it would be so unpopular. I'm going to take a short break and re-evaluate my plans for the story as parts of it don't seem to be resonating with players.

Just to be sure: No matter what, the critique isn't meant to say you did something that justifies beating yourself up over it (also it's your story to tell at the end of day!), if you decide to give your current plans a second thought that is a damn respectable way of taking said critique. Pretty sure I'm not the only one who's overall opinion of the game being a sweet treat, enjoyable and also generally pretty well written hasn't changed, even though this update feels like it's not exactly up to the level of narrative quality (and player impact on the protagonist's behavior) the rest of the game shows.
I'm no less excited for future updates then before.

 

[Shanni]

ionDivvy

Love the game so far, just four things:

1. The scene where the MC seals the pact with Valerie is pretty weak. When Valerie explains the effects of the bond my first question would be: Why is the spell forbidden, what are the downsides? MC also agrees way to readily. That part needs some polishing in my opinion.

2. The sec sceens that don't belong to the training sessions should also provide some sex exp for Valerie.

3. You get no choice when you bargain with death. That's a pretty important choice, so it should have some impact and the player should have some influence on it - even if the end result is the same and you only get the chance to choose between more or less corruption.

4. I'm playing with Jokers walkthrough so I get noticed when I accumulate "corruption". 1st choice is love or corruption with Valerie - in this case I thought it was more of a sexual way - more vanilla or more BDSM. Every later option where you accumulate corruption seems to be focused more on the MC and I would personally differentiate it between a pacifist decision, where the player hopes that other people around you will make the hard decisions for you and it will somehow, miraculously work out the way you hope, or a pragmatic/fair decision and make the hard decision yourself.

I see you got a lot of negative feedback up there. Don't take it too hard, but I do have to agree with most of those opinions. With all the feedback, to take a step back and overthink your past decisions is a a very admirable and mature decision. Regardless the outcome that demands respect!

As you described it at the end of the fight on the bridge yourself: MC never really had a chance against the boss, he knows it and he does it anyway...again...fully knowing the consquences. I would describe that as the epitome of stupidity. I personally would have asked Valerie to lift the seal on Rena and would have taken her with me. She's a good girl and doesn't want innocents to be hurt so she would look out for me anyway if there were any doubts. Maybe she has some nice memory spell which I could consider as a possible solution where I don't have to kill Oruth?

Anyway, I'm looking forward to see how the story and the protagonists develop. Is there a chance to get some lesbian/threesome action in the future? Keep up the good work!

 

[Turret]

Thanks to everyone for the feedback, and I apologize if this update was disappointing for you. I didn't expect it would be so unpopular. I'm going to take a short break and re-evaluate my plans for the story as parts of it don't seem to be resonating with players.

Hi! It is less the storyline itself, which has potential, but how it was handled. You let the idiot ball swing around very liberally in the game world and it shows. The MC has to be absolutely braindead, it cannot be sugarcoated due to the severity, to do what he does in the new update, the fights with Oruth a prime example as ename144 points out well.
Another thing are the choices in the update which feel fake since you get practically the same outcomes no matter what you chose.

 

[Renetta]

if killing Oruth and his goons was considered a bad choice then that's pretty fucked up by the dev

 

[gregers]

While I agree with the criticism, I think it should be noted that the lack of meaningful choices isn't that surprising, as this has been a very linear story from the first, right back to Val's original kidnapping of the MC.

Some games go for heavy branching and freedom for the player, others go for a more on-rails experience to ensure narrative cohesion and making sure the game tells the story they want to tell. This game is in the latter camp, and that's fair enough as long as players don't feel bamboozled by it.

 

[Orphanus]

While I agree with the criticism, I think it should be noted that the lack of meaningful choices isn't that surprising, as this has been a very linear story from the first, right back to Val's original kidnapping of the MC.

Some games go for heavy branching and freedom for the player, others go for a more on-rails experience to ensure narrative cohesion and making sure the game tells the story they want to tell. This game is in the latter camp, and that's fair enough as long as players don't feel bamboozled by it.

Not wrong of course, but the protagonist wasn't just acting on auto pilot, or at least it didn't feel like it. Having the protagonist act like a complete fool, on top of a massive jerk for breaking their promise repeatedly, and that just to force the outcome of them having to sell a piece of their soul (which in and of itself is kinda an issue when it happens as an unavoidable consequence of multiple contrivances) feels really meh.

 

[Ssato243]

love the game

 

[OnlyUsedForNever]

out of curiosity, did anyone else rename Valerie? Curious what people came up with.

I went for Demi (the Demon). seemed better than Succy the Succubus...

 

[OnlyUsedForNever]

While I agree with the criticism, I think it should be noted that the lack of meaningful choices isn't that surprising, as this has been a very linear story from the first, right back to Val's original kidnapping of the MC.

Some games go for heavy branching and freedom for the player, others go for a more on-rails experience to ensure narrative cohesion and making sure the game tells the story they want to tell. This game is in the latter camp, and that's fair enough as long as players don't feel bamboozled by it.

I have to admit first of all that I haven't played the newest update so maybe things change, but I think it's important to note that while the story is linear, there are plenty of choices for how the MC wants to respond or how they feel about certain things, which I really appreciate.

For example, you can accept Val's pact immediately and the dialogue makes you out to be a total simp. You can run away and then reluctantly come back and the dialogue is more untrustworthy.

You can decide if you're a dom, or a sub. You can decide if you miss home or not. If you want to travel with Val or not, forgive Rhea, etc etc, and I think that's so incredibly vital for a linear VN. I'm fine with events playing out only one way in order to get the story a dev wants to tell, but I think adding these flavor choices and letting a player choose how their MC thinks or reacts is what makes it an interactive story/game and not just a picture book.

 

[FatYoda]

any chance the dev wants to slap an incest tag up there and give us a set of sisters and/or twins that we can have some fun with? And i don't mean MC's sisters...looking for girls unrelated to MC who are related to each other. I'm playing this no matter what, it's fun, and the models are super hot. Just wondering/hoping.

 

[ename144]

Thanks to everyone for the feedback, and I apologize if this update was disappointing for you. I didn't expect it would be so unpopular. I'm going to take a short break and re-evaluate my plans for the story as parts of it don't seem to be resonating with players.

Hey, Ion. You don't have anything to apologize for, the problems with this chapter aren't a result of laziness or corner-cutting. You took a swing and missed - at least from my perspective; it happens.

As far as reevaluating your plans, that's a very tricky balancing act. You shouldn't scrap your plans just because some of the players didn't like it. I mean, obviously I am the best player and you should immediately take anything I say to heart, but it's remotely possible your story just isn't for me. If you try to please everyone all the time you'll just wind up with boring, blandly inoffensive filler. At the same time, it could be that the way you are telling the story isn't the most effective way to convey it to the audience. If that is what's happening here, then it is a very good idea to take a step back and ponder how you can address the problem.

Unfortunately, it's really hard to get specific without knowing where you want the story to go, so I realize my advice is somewhat glib. But by way of example, let me give you a modified version of the update and explain why I think it would have been a more effective approach from my point of view. Hopefully you can judge if it's at all compatible with the story you want to tell and determine what lessons, if any, to learn from it.

Spoiler: Blatant Monday Morning Quarterbacking

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So there you go, some food for thought, hopefully.

In any case, thank you for your work on this game, Ion. It's been fun up to this point, and I hope you find a way forward that gives you the response you want without having to change your vision. Though I would appreciate if you'd keep working on Casual Desires in the meantime!

 

[Turret]

Though I would appreciate if you'd keep working on Casual Desires in the meantime!

Amen to that! Hopefully he even remembers what "Casual Desires" is! The game which put him on the map as a game maker and a game and it´s fans he treated real shabbily.

 

[ename144]

out of curiosity, did anyone else rename Valerie? Curious what people came up with.

I went for Demi (the Demon). seemed better than Succy the Succubus...

No, I kept Valerie. I very rarely rename NPCs in a game, even if it's possible. I do usually rename the MC, partially because as my avatar it seems fitting to give him/her an idiosyncratic name, but mostly because having different names is a quick and easy way to distinguish paths if I play a game multiple times.

 

[bews]

Hey, thanks for the suggestions. I do plan on refining parts of the story in v0.9, so this gives me a few ideas of where to start.

Those were really good suggestions to the point that I have nothing to add. Basically the whole idea is that u can get the same results in different ways, so u won't have to make different routes since everything connects to the same result. But u should be able to get it in different ways - this is the recipe for the best game. Take Mass Effect for example: while being a linear story, most ppl consider it one of the best RPGs simply because u can change small details in the story to your liking.

Regarding my intentions for the story in this update:

It is a good idea and u should follow it imho. Just change the implementation slightly.

On a side note: personally I would like always to have an option to keep the girls pure and finish bad guys urself instead (probably it's already planned tho).

 

[FatYoda]

It's not a bad choice. While it does add corruption points, the player will still be able to decide whether or not they embark on a darker path if they accumulate enough of these points. So feel free to kill and spare who you choose because there isn't a clear right or wrong answer to these problems.

Corruption just means that the connection with Death grows stronger. It's not meant as being evil. If anything, the MC makes a case for why killing Oruth could be the 'good' choice instead.



Hey, thanks for the suggestions. I do plan on refining parts of the story in v0.9, so this gives me a few ideas of where to start.

Regarding my intentions for the story in this update:

Spoiler

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Annestria and Ellania (the elven sisters) are probably what you are looking for.

I can't commit to anything incest related due to the ToS of a certain platform, but both Ann and Ell will be available to the MC as sexual/romantic options, including as part of a harem.

thanks for the reply, some devs make a patch and throw it up on a different platform like discord or something so it's not connected to the other one. It's more work though so i dnnt really expect it.

 

[123456bob]

Hi ionDivvy first time playing your game and WOW fantastic work. You've nailed that 'timeless' classic appeal and I can see your game selling on steam for years.

I'm not your ideal player since I tend to skip through story and I prefer the general buzz of the story - and you've nailed that. I'm a massive fan of anal so huge shoutout for covering that side of things extreemly well, I don't think there's any other game that's give me this much genuine choice and freedome in bed.

Your models are out of this world gorgeous and the settings are pefect.

I love the daily living pace and story cycle. The story is a great place where we need to earn funds, power up, build up relationships and have fun in bed. I would LOVE a sandbox mode where I can just endlessly buid up sex xp and unlock new scenes so I eventualy create my ideal night - choosing all the fav moves. But the game cuts short so I was disapointed I couldn't and I don't want to have to replay the game choosing only 1 sex scene over and over just to max it out.

Gameplay suggestions:
From a fresh eyes perspective I LOVE the risk vs power ballance element. Since you've escaped from a soul grinding office cubical where you a slave to money and ruled by middle management, where a house is out of reach and getting and keeping even 1 woman requires lifetime comtiment ... you now own your own home where you already have a partner who works and is a pornstar in the sheets. you have dormant power. You are free to goof off all day and if you cheat you get a high five instead of ruine. All you need to do to keep all of that is .. DO NOT DRAW ATTENTION. Right so live in peace, build sex xp etc. Maybe the peace route rewards you with a side girl. However the game moves ahead to exit you from town and move you on to the next act ... you did use power to steal the house. Maybe your side girl dies and that triggers you and so the story meets back up with the power route except as a player you want revenge or to get back what was lost. You don't want to end up creating 2 games in one haha. In this route evil people die because of raven or valrie powers up because she is that much more attatched to you and taps into her power (instead of you using yours).

However the counter to that peace is gaining power (you've called that curruption but I think you need to rename that death power or something). The more death power you gain the more death aura sticks to you, the more you are noticed and maybe you are skipped ahead to the moving on story line much sooner. sex xp is left undone, you don't meet the side girl... there are concequences. The reason is that with power you have the option to intervene and change the world but you draw attention in a world where learning magic is a death sentence. In this story you are the power and Val or others don't intervene since you end the bad guys yourself and even though the story is darker and harsher you will feel like as a player that this was all your choice. Maybe as an office worker you just want to see the world burn.

 

[Joshy92]

Wait the mc gives part of his soul away?

Maybe we could get it back in the future and give it to Val as a sign of my love for her.

 

[ename144]

Hey, thanks for the suggestions. I do plan on refining parts of the story in v0.9, so this gives me a few ideas of where to start.

Regarding my intentions for the story in this update:

Spoiler

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Thanks for the explanation, that makes a lot of sense. In terms of more tailored suggestions:

Spoiler: Intentions

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Annestria and Ellania (the elven sisters) are probably what you are looking for.

I can't commit to anything incest related due to the ToS of a certain platform, but both Ann and Ell will be available to the MC as sexual/romantic options, including as part of a harem.

Maybe a threesome involving them would be considered safe as long as they don't directly touch each other?

There is some precedent for sisters being sexy in the vicinity of each other; Where the Heart Is in particular seemed interested in trying to push that envelope. Still, I would be very cautious risking it unless you're confident you could survive the loss of that platform.

 

[mypossiblepasts]

ionDivvy Hey! Just launched your game, words of appreciation for being conscious about default sounds volume. Was setting text_cps to 50 also your working?

 

[DWYA8888]

2 new animations

realy? in 2k24? i can find somothing better here, on f95, from another dev....